


Life Goes On

by littlemaple, MayumiSato



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mpreg, Slow Burn, past america/spain, past prussia/england
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-15
Packaged: 2018-12-12 21:40:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 54,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11745723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlemaple/pseuds/littlemaple, https://archiveofourown.org/users/MayumiSato/pseuds/MayumiSato
Summary: Alfred and Arthur met at a social event and quickly realized they are quite compatible with each other. What makes their story complicated is the fact that the social event in question was a dinner party exclusively for widows. Oh, and the fact that Arthur is expecting a baby from his deceased mate.





	1. The Giving Tree

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, everyone! We hope you enjoy this story.  
> Although we have it all planned out, we still need to write the next chapters, so if you like it, please let us know so we can work hard on finishing them soon! 
> 
> Just a few notes:  
> This story is written as a RP between the two of us, but we polished it up before posting.  
> The chapter tittles will be all based on children's literature.  
> Neither of us has English as a mother tongue so if you see grammar mistakes or typos, let us know so we can fix and avoid them in the future!
> 
> Cya!

November 03, 2017

 

“Hey, Em! How are things going over there? Did you guys eat your dinner? The vegetables too? Oh, wow! Well done! What was dinner anyway?”  

Despite the promise Alfred had made to himself that that night would be about himself and his wish to finally get a date after so many years avoiding romance, he couldn’t resist making a quick call just to check on his kids while he was at the dinner party.

After all, his kids, science, documentaries about aliens, games, cartoons and animes had been Alfred’s only interests for many, many years. Well, some things never change.

Although he had made an effort into looking hella attractive  at that dinner party, and even put some pants that highlighted all the good stuff he had on the lower part of his body, he was still a huge nerd and a doting parent inside. After some time mingling with a bunch of people but not having any particular interest for a single one of them, he felt his seductive persona starting to break and his thoughts about romance becoming more and more distant and less meaningful in his life.

 

* * *

 

Meanwhile, sitting alone at a table near a wall, Arthur was questioning himself about having gone to that dinner party to begin with.

He placed a hand on his belly absentmindedly, a habit he'd acquired the previous month, and watched the people around him. Some were sitting, chatting happily to one another, while others were standing, dancing to the soft music playing in the background. He watched all those people and thought about the fact that they were all there because their mates had died.

And that thought made him look down at his table, at himself, and he felt his eyes getting wet again. He sighed, noticing he needed to go to the restroom again. As he got up he thought that it was the third time he was going there since he had arrived an hour ago, because his bladder seemed to have shrunken ridiculously the past two months.

In the restroom, after washing his hands, he sighed to his reflection in the mirror, trying not to worry too much about all his worries. The baby. Gilbert.

Gilbert...

He washed his face with warm water, took a deep breath, and returned to his table.

Sipping a little of his water, he looked around again, telling himself that he should get up and go talk to someone. After all, he had accepted Francis' recommendation of going to that party just because he wanted to talk to someone, anyone, who understood what he was going through, someone who could help him find strength, someone who, maybe, he could befriend, even.

But he just... he couldn't do it. He could not muster up the heart to get up and approach a group of people and smile and tell them his mate had died and that he needed help to deal with it.

He just... couldn't. Going to that party had been a mistake, he concluded. But he couldn't leave either. He did not want to go home yet and deal with the nothingness that awaited him there.

 

* * *

 

Yep, that wasn’t your average single’s meeting.

That one was specifically made for widows. For people who had lost their mates, their partners. Maybe they went to such a party to share their experiences about grief, to make a new friend who could understand what they went through. Or maybe, just like Alfred, they went there because they wanted a new love in their lives but were too scared that other people wouldn’t understand the consequences that losing a mate had on a person’s life.

Alfred wanted to move on. It had been four years since Antonio died and Alfred was still young. He was tired of being alone. He really, really longed for companionship.

However, despite wishing for something new, Alfred would always remember his mate. He was the father of his children. It’s not like Alfred could pretend that that person didn’t have a huge impact in his life.

Wanting to move on didn’t mean that the scar left in his heart by his grief had vanished. It was still there, just a little harder to see. He could remember very well his worst days, the days that followed Antonio’s death. There were times in which he had no motivation left in his body, not even to eat or to take a shower, and all the light, all the life had simply escaped from his eyes.

He had the same eyes, the same painful expression of a certain omega sitting at a table far across the room, seeming absolutely defeated by fate and confused about his own reasons to be at that place.

After a while, Alfred noticed said omega. Even if there were a lot of different people there, that omega caught his attention because he went to the restroom all the time, was a bit isolated from the crowd and Alfred could imagine his feelings just by looking at him.

What was that omega doing in this party?, Alfred asked himself and, moved by a mix of curiosity and empathy,  decided to talk to him.

And Arthur, too buried in himself and not seeing what his eyes were showing him, only noticed that there was an alpha approaching him when his scent flooded Arthur's nostrils.

He blinked, as if awakened from a trance, and looked in the alpha's direction. All that Arthur noticed at the time was that he had beautiful blue eyes, and then he tightened his arms around himself anxiously, offering a bland and polite smile.

To have someone else close to him made him feel like he was doing something wrong, like he should not be there, not alone; like he should be there chatting with the others and enjoying the evening.

"Hey, no need to  be nervous!” Alfred said, quickly offering a handshake to try to appease the clear distrust of the omega in front of him. “My name is Alfred! It's your first time at this kind of event, right?”

The omega frowned at his guess and did not take his hand, so Alfred added with a genuine smile.

“To be honest, it's my first time here too!”

Arthur still gave another suspicious look towards the alpha before finally taking his hand briefly.

"Name's Arthur." he said.

Then he looked at his table once more. Rationally he knew he needed to say something more if he wanted to have a conversation, but he didn't know what to say. Rather, he didn't know how to say it. He wanted to ask if Alfred's mate had died recently as well, but... but he knew it was a tricky subject. He swallowed, "... a friend recommended these parties to me..." he pointed to the people talking and dancing across the room with his chin, "...They seem to be having a good time."

“You, on the other hand, seem pretty unconfortable here…” Alfred shrugged with a small, pitiful smile. “Are you bad with crowds?” he asked, despite knowing that there was more to it than social anxiety.

"That, too" Arthur replied with a small, sad smile, calmly reaching up to the mark on his neck. His fingers were cold and the mark was warm. He tried to keep his smile as he spoke, "... I, uh... I'm just not used to... this." he said vaguely.

For the last month Arthur had barely spoken to anyone, with a few exceptions at work, and now it felt like... like he didn't remember what it was like to talk to people about things that did not involve hospitals and death and emptiness.

Without knowing his history, Alfred could still see that that omega’s loss was definitely recent.

"I... I know how it is..." Alfred began, playing with the napkin holder on the table to distract his eyes. “I mean even though I should be taking advantage of the situation to meet new people and have fun by myself, I’m still thinking about my kids all the time. Maybe… Maybe we get used to things like that over time.”

"That's what they told me," Arthur said, nodding. "So you have children? How old are they? Oh, uh... you... you can have a seat, you know. If you want."

Alfred gladly accepted that invitation to sit because, god, standing for so long or walking around a small, full place was such a pain on the legs.  He took the chair in front of Arthur so they would be sit at a respectful distance while still seeing each other directly.

“I have two kids. My eldest daughter is called Emily. She is an alpha, nine years old and her dream is to become an archaeologist. She loves dinosaurs. My youngest is called Bill. He is six years old, a beta and, basically, he likes naps and songs about colors and numbers.” Alfred answered with fondness and proudness. He had a deep appreciation for his children.

Arthur smiled a little at that.

"They seem like lovely children..." he commented, resting one of his hands on his belly, "I... I'll have one in a few months..."

Alfred hadn’t noticed until that point that the omega was expecting a child because there was so many strong smells around that it was easy to miss something so specific communicated by his scent. This news came as a cold breath in Alfred’s skin. If that was a widow’s meeting and that omega was pregnant… He probably had no one by his side to take care of him and  the child he was expecting. What a depressing situation.

“Uh… Hm… Cool? How far are you in the pregnancy?”

"Three months." Arthur answered, looking at the table to avoid the look on Alfred's face. Maybe, he thought, he should not have mentioned it, because Alfred looked uncomfortable. People always did. Arthur shrugged. "I ... I don't know anything about babies." He scoffed at himself, "I came here looking for tips and things like that, but..." he looked up at the people gathered on the other side of the room, "Everyone is having so much fun that I, you know, I don't want to depress anyone." He scoffed again, holding on to his sweater's sleeves "Actually... you should go to them too. It looks nicer there."

“Well, when I lost my mate, my youngest child was only a baby. I think I know how you must be feeling now.” Alfred sighed, taking the menu over the table and flipping its pages, pretending to be distracted by that. He understood Arthur’s hint that he should leave but he wanted to try to stay just a little bit more. “I can give you some advice if you want to.”

"Oh," Arthur muttered. So Alfred's mate had died a long time ago. Arthur had not thought of that until then, "I would like that." He almost smiled then, a bit embarrassed, "There is so much that I don't know... I should know, being an omega, but I never cared for those things. I never really thought about having a baby."

An accidental pregnancy? Dang, what a sad story that omega was living.

Alfred really wanted to help that guy somehow. As a person with an old appreciation for superhero stories, Alfred knew the huge effect that small kind actions could have on the world.  

“How about we order for some food and eat while I answer your doubts about babies?”. Alfred suggested with a smile.

Arthur nodded, offering Alfred a much weaker version of his smile. He looked at the menu and even placed his hand on it, but quickly drew it back.

"You can order. I don't want anything. I have my _morning_ sickness at night" he explained.

“Oh, yeah. You’re still on the first months.” Alfred remembered how much his mate complained of sickness in the first months in both pregnancies. “In that case, I will just order a drink so you won’t be sick at the smell of my dinner. A vanilla milkshake would bother you too much?”

"No, I'll be fine." Arthur nodded in response, raising his hand to call a waiter for Alfred.

Hours passed and through the night, some of the dinner party guests made their own groups, some were talking to a special person worth of all their attention and most of them simply left the place. Meanwhile, Alfred and Arthur stayed together, alone on their table, talking about Alfred’s kids and about the cares children demanded.

“As soon as the baby is born, test its type! Making a good environment based on its type’s biological needs is important so you both can have some peace. The omega room we made for Bill was too hot for him. My husband was certain he would be an omega but he ended being a beta so we had to adapt things quick.”

"I see."  Arthur said, "To take care of betas is easier, isn't it? I've heard so... and also that omegas are the most troublesome? I hope my baby is a beta..." Arthur commented as he lightly touched his belly, "My mate, he... he wanted an alpha. But I think a beta would be better."

“I, personally, think betas are more hard work but maybe that’s my opinion because I raised my beta son in a bad period of my life.” Alfred took a deep breath, showing a slightly painful smile. “You’re an omega. You will probably understand another’s omega physical needs in terms of ideal temperature and comfort better.”

"Perhaps. But omegas are also more expensive, right?" Arthur sighed. He didn't think he could afford an omega baby, he'd hardly be able to afford a baby at all, and he just... he didn't want to think about it, not now. "It must have been difficult... to raise two children by yourself..." he remarked, "But from what you said about your kids, they seem to be great kids... you must have done a great job."

“I feel like I should have given them more attention in the past. I had to leave them with my brother or with a babysitter so many times while they still were pretty young just so I could work.” Alfred admitted with an unhappy face. “Bill is kinda shy and frightened by everything. Sometimes I wonder if that’s my fault, you know?”

"It may be just his personality." Arthur assured Alfred, "I was like that when I was a child, and I had both my parents around." He said with a shrug. His eyes shifted to the other people in the restaurant, very few now, laughing and talking and looking genuinely happy.

Arthur felt his chest tightening and aching. He'd like to be one of these people. He'd like to not have as much worries as he did, to the point he could barely sleep sometimes. He'd like to be able to laugh and make jokes and... Most of all, he'd like to not carry that pain. He'd like if Gilbert was alive and with him.

Alfred, too, noticed how the room, compared to earlier that evening, was almost deserted now, and he started to worry about how late it was. He checked his phone and to his surprise, it was already ten-fifteen p.m. Alfred promised himself that he would leave that place half past nine… Time went so fast while he was talking to Arthur.

“Look, I have to go now.” he informed Arthur, standing up from his chair and putting money over the table to pay for his milkshake. “I think that many of your doubts about children are answered in a book I have somewhere in my house about how to take care of your first child. Say what? If you come to one of these meetings again, I can lend it to you! Do you follow the event’s facebook page?”

"Oh... no, I don't, but I can... I can check." Arthur replied, confused, "And well, you could just tell me the name of the book too. I can look it up. I mean, thank you. You just, you know, you don't have to bother with that..."

“I don’t know, man. It’s pretty old. It would be hard for you to find it somewhere. I bought it a looooooong time ago in a flea market.” Alfred retorted, giving Arthur a friendly tap over his hand. “Don’t hesitate so much in accepting people’s help in difficult times. If you feel guilty about this, just think about it as a debt that you can pay with the universe, doing the same for someone else someday!”

Arthur nodded, as much as he still didn't feel so good about it. It was just that, lately, he felt that all he did was to bother people and to give them more things to worry about. And he hated it. "You're right, I guess... thank you. I will borrow your book." He said.

“Hey.” Alfred added, noticing Arthur’s bitter expression. “Things are hard now but they will get better, okay? Believe me. I know they will.”

Arthur's eyes widened at that, staring at Alfred but not really seeing him.

Alfred's words reminded him of Gilbert. Gilbert, lying in a hospital bed, surrounded by machines and wires and tubes, a smile on his thin, chapped lips.

_"Hey, don't make that face. Things are complicated now, but I'm strong. I'll get out of this. Things will get better, Art, believe me, I know everything will work out."_

And at that memory Arthur's eyes filled with tears, so many and so intense that he couldn't stop them. The tears came down his cheeks and Arthur looked up, turning his face to the side and wiping the tears as they came.

He sobbed and sniffed,

"Nothing's gonna get any better." he murmured, staring at the floor, "My... my mate kept saying that. He wanted a baby so we had a baby because he said... things were fine and he would be there... so he got sick... and... and he said exactly the same thing you said, you know, the day before he died... I just... I don't believe it." Arthur shook his head, sobbing and feeling his shoulders trembling as he cried, "Nothing is going... nothing is going to get better..."

Alfred really had no idea of how to help Arthur. That was a very awkward situation. He wanted to help but damn, that was some heavy shit. Now, he had no idea about how comfortable Arthur felt with his presence but he did know that being stared while feeling vulnerable was an awful feeling. After thinking for awhile about how to protect Arthur from people’s judgmental stare, he  took off the big grey coat he was wearing and put it around Arthur’s shoulders to disguise his emotional body language. Maybe the coat’s warmth would be good for Arthur too. It was a bit chilly that night.

“Your mate wasn’t necessarily saying that things would get great or that everything would be fixed in no time.” Alfred answered very bluntly “Just try to believe that things will work out, okay? I know that everything seems awful now but… give it time.”

"Just... what should I do? He's not here anymore. He left me, and I'm all alone." Arthur cried in response, because he just... he was so lost. He was so... there was so much in his head, so much he had to worry about, so much to do, too much... Arthur could not handle it all, not alone. When Gilbert was there, they would always find a way. They had each other. But now... now he was alone....

As if waking from a trance and noticing what he was doing, noticing he was crying in front of a stranger, with several other strangers around him... Arthur sniffed and did everything he could to stop his tears. He wanted to get out of there."I... I'd better go now, I..." He stood up and, noticing Alfred's coat on his shoulders, Arthur took it off and handed it back, "Thank you, I... and I'm sorry..."

“No worries.” Alfred quickly said, trying to make Arthur feel a bit more relaxed. “I will bring the book on the next widow’s dinner party. If you come, I will let you borrow it.” Alfred waved to Arthur, walking towards the exit while still keeping their eyes locked. “Take care, dude. Remember that there’s a lot of cool people in this world to help you at bad times.”

"Bye." Arthur muttered, waving to Alfred as he walked away.

Then, avoiding to look at the other people, who were watching him as if he was an animal in a zoo, Arthur left as well.

He thought of Alfred while in the bus back home and of what he had said. Yes, there were people willing to help him. But they would not solve all of his problems. They would only help to some extent. With kind words and advice, mostly. And Arthur was grateful for that, but that would just help him to some extent as well and that extent wasn't nearly enough. Arthur was alone with his problems. Alone.

When he got home, he laid on his bed, on the bed he shared with Gilbert in the past and with the memories of Gilbert in the present. Wearing Gilbert's pajamas, Arthur touched his belly and tried to remember that he was not alone. There was the baby. It was one of his problems as well, but it was the only thing Arthur had. So Arthur needed to learn how to care of it. That's why he needed that book. That's why he needed to go to the next dinner party.

 

* * *

 

On the next day, as soon as he arrived at his work at the lab, Alfred’s best friend and coworker, Honda Kiku, suddenly appeared right in front of him, with very huge and inquisitive eyes.

“How was yesterday's dinner party, Alfred?”

“Oh, damn, Kiku! You scared the bejeebers out of me! Did you just materialize here or something?” Alfred complained with one hand on his chest while the other reached out for the protection goggles at a table next to the entrance.   

“Alfred, please, I know you’re weak against jumpscares but this reaction is just too much.”

Coat on, goggles on, gloves on, friend messing around close, Alfred was ready for a new day at his work.

His job? Testing and improving medicines. It was a job he took inspired by the idea that if someday a zombie apocalypse was to happen, he would be one of the few people with the skills to develop a cure. Also, helping saving people’s lives in small ways was pretty neat.

Thank goodness he liked his work, though, because he had to be there from nine a.m to six p.m, every Monday to Friday.

“So Alfred, you still didn’t answer me. How was the widow’s party?” Kiku asked again once they got to their tables and started to work another day, side by side.

“Oh, well, it was…”

Truth to be told, the only thing Alfred could think about that night was the sad, lonely omega he talked to for a couple of hours.

“It was kinda depressing, to be honest.” Alfred ended up answering.  

 

* * *

 

During his lunch break, Arthur felt his phone buzzing in his pocket. He hooked it up and sighed at the name on the screen.

"Hi, Francis." He said as he answered, putting his lunch aside. He had eaten all the vegetables and half of the chicken even if he wasn't hungry. So it was a victory.

"Hello! How was it yesterday? I told you to call me about it." Francis said, and Arthur could feel the smile in his words.

"It was..." Arthur shrugged. "Alright? An alpha came to talk to me, and he said he'll lend me a book about babies. He tried not to look too uncomfortable about me, which was nice of him." Arthur said. He decided not to tell about the part in which he had cried, though.

"Oh, I'm glad to hear that, Arthur. I hope this book is helpful. I'll see if I can find some of these for you as well."

“Yeah, thanks.”

"If you need anything, just give me a call. We're here for you, you know." Francis assured him.

"I know. Have a good day, Francis." Arthur replied.

"You too. Take care, Arthur."

Arthur sighed once the call was over, placing his phone on the table and staring at the picture in his lockscreen. He and Gilbert, hugging each other and smiling, with Gilbert kissing his cheek.

His chest tightened and he tried not to think about it. He also tried not to think about how much Francis was struggling to give support when he had a thousand other things to do. Francis was arranging things for his wedding. Arthur remembered when he had come to invite Gilbert to be his godfather, and how much Gilbert had been happy about it. They were such good friends... Arthur wondered if Francis would still care so much about Arthur if there wasn't a baby. So he tried not to think about anything else and get back to work.

* * *

To Alfred’s surprise, despite being so depressed on the last meeting, Arthur did go to the next dinner party. Actually, it seemed he was even searching for Alfred specifically, considering that he immediately came in his direction as soon as their eyes met.

Only one week had passed since they had last saw each other and Arthur’s mood didn’t appear to be very different from before but at least he seemed determined, focused on some new goal instead of just being apathetic and tired.

“You look good in a green sweater. It really brings out your eyes.” Alfred pointed out smiling after Arthur reached him. “I haven’t forgot to bring your book! Since you’re here, don’t you wanna sit and take a look at it?”

"Yes please!" Arthur replied at once, and then added, holding on to the sleeves of his sweater. "And thank you."

Arthur chose a table a little further away from the rest and sat down, moving his feet impatiently, waiting for Alfred to show him the book. He'd been researching such books that week, though the ones with more positive ratings cost more than Arthur could afford at the moment.

Alfred took the suitcase he brought from home to his job and from his job to that restaurant and put it over the table. He took out of it a book that looked a bit worn from its use but still relatively well preserved.

With a warm smile, Alfred then handed it to Arthur.

“There you go. This helped me a lot in the past. I hope you can use it well too!”

"Thank you." Arthur replied, bringing the book closer to him and carefully running his fingers over the cover as he read the information contained there. Then he opened the book and flipped over to the index, where he was amazed at the amount of sections and chapters, "Oh. There's a whole section on cramps... I didn't even know babies had cramps..."

“Yep, they do.” Alfred laughed, remembering the first time he had to deal with that, spending hours giving Emily massages so she would stop crying after being fed. “A baby’s digestive system is still getting used to receiving food so if something like that happens to yours, it’s totally normal.”

"Oh... and what are you supposed to do? Give it some medicine?" Arthur asked, flipping through the opening chapters and pausing to read about the symptoms of pregnancy.

“No, no! You can’t give babies medicine without a good reason! You have to massage them when they feel pain! That’s how you deal with it!”

"But... what if you use too much strength? I mean, what if I end up hurting it? How will I know how much pressure to add?" Arthur asked confusedly.

“Don’t sweat it. The book explain it super-well. It even has illustrations for an easier understanding!” Alfred said, moving his wrist up and down, making a hand gesture that basically meant ‘chill, dude’. “Also, if you feel like it’s not enough for you, you can always enroll in one of those courses for new parents or something”.

"Oh, um..." Arthur muttered. No, he could not. Those courses were expensive and he could not afford something like that. He had other priorities and obligations, "Well... I'll have some time to study all this, at least..."

“Yep. I mean, people would frown if they saw you using a parking spot for pregnant people, dude. That’s how early in your pregnancy you are! You still got plenty of time.” Alfred joked.

Arthur nodded and smiled briefly, looking at Alfred for a moment and then going back to looking at the book, "You're not going to eat anything today?" He asked casually.

“Oh, well... “ Alfred started to rub the back of his neck, looking away awkwardly. "I thought maybe you just came for the book, so... I didn’t want to keep you here just because of me… That’s why I didn’t order anything.”

"Oh..." Arthur murmured, staring at the book. Well, yes, he had come just for the book, but he didn't want to go home just yet. The restaurant had a pleasant temperature and no too strong smells, and... and Alfred was kind. Arthur didn't mind his presence. "Well... I intend to stay here for a while, so... you can order something? I mean, you can go and talk to other people as well if you'd like. I'll understand."

“You don’t mind staying here with me?” Alfred asked legitimately surprised. “Even if I talk about my kids all the time?”

Arthur shook his head,

"I like your company... and you always get overjoyed talking about your kids. It's cute, actually, and they seem like great kids." He shrugged, "I think I can learn a lot about taking care of kids with you. I mean... if you want to teach me."

“People get annoyed when I talk about my children too much.” Alfred laughed, shaking his head, surprised but pleased to see that he had at least a bit of Arthur’s approval. “That’s why I will take this chance to brag about them as if I would never get a chance to do it again! By the way, don’t you wanna order a drink so you can have something while we talk? It can be juice or tea since you’re preggo.”  

"Can you tell me about what it's like to bathe babies? And how to teach them to use the restroom?" Arthur asked first, then shook his head. "I don't want to be running to the restroom every two minutes, so I'd rather not drink anything."

“Okaaay! I will just drink some soda alone then!”

The two of them talked for hours about kids and about the adventures of domestic life with them. Arthur had many questions about that particular topic and Alfred definitively had fun providing him with the answers he needed. As a whole, that was a great night with less thought about how Arthur was in a precarious position being a single father and more about how children could be a source of happiness in someone’s life.

Even though Alfred’s initial intention was to meet a new romantic partner, he was kinda glad he met Arthur instead. Maybe a new friend would be a better choice for him, he thought. That’s why, by the end of the night, he informed Arthur that he would come to the next dinner party and that it would be nice if they happened to hang out again.

Arthur liked to talk to Alfred.

He was fun, kind and friendly. Arthur was learning a lot about children with him, and frankly it was nice to talk to someone who was not commenting on how hard it must be for Arthur to be alone and pregnant. Because Arthur knew that, he knew how hard it was, and he didn't want people constantly reminding him of it.

Arthur missed having casual conversations with people, and Alfred... provided that. And he was fun too, even if Arthur still couldn't really laugh at his jokes. Alfred was a good person. And that was why Arthur decided to go to the next meeting. To talk to Alfred about children, about how to care for them, about how they could be lovely and even funny. Despite everything, Arthur honestly wanted to try and see things under a more positive light.

Their third meeting was, again, pretty neat. Arthur, by that point, already knew enough about Alfred’s little treasures to make specific questions about them, like “is Bill still going to  your room in the middle of the night?” and “how was that presentation that Emily had to do for school?”. Two weeks made some difference to Arthur. He still seemed pretty down but now there was a slight, discreet layer of liveliness in his face. Alfred probably wasn’t the true responsible for that improvement, yet he was glad to keep Arthur on that mood while they talked for hours into the night.

Alfred did cheer Arthur up, even if he didn't realize it and even if Arthur wouldn't say it out loud.

He was a nice person and the sweet, gentle tone he used to talk about his children always inspired Arthur; it made Arthur look to his uncertain future and think, "I'd like to get where Alfred is, I'd like to be so positive someday". And even if he was not going to tell Alfred that, Arthur kept going to the parties to ask about his children, to hear him talking about them with affection and showing pictures and drawings they had made.

"I hope I can be a great father like you are someday..." he ended up saying during a party.

Hearing such a genuine and spontaneous compliment made Alfred blush. He averted his gaze and practically sank his face into his glass of soda to disguise his timid reaction. He was an alpha and it would be totally uncool to be seem flustered with so little.

“Come on, dude. You probably are going to be better than me. I’m giving you all the  ‘good dad’ cheat codes that I got so you don’t go through the same problem as me, having to figure them out on your own.” he answered after a while.

Arthur shook his head,

"You learned all this by yourself and you were great at it. I would never get this far on my own... I would probably use water too hot for the baths and try to feed it with solid food in the first weeks..." Arthur said.

Antonio had helped Alfred with Emily, though. Alfred didn’t had to face all that completely alone. He only had to deal by himself with the discoveries of parenthood when Bill was an one year old baby and Emily was four. His and Arthur’s situation were quite different. However, he wouldn’t say that to Arthur just to rub salt on his wounds. Geez. He had a little more of sense than that.

“Calm down, man. Taking care of a baby always bring a bunch of surprises for parents. It’s totally normal to be scared right now.” Alfred tried to comfort Arthur the best he could. “You seem like a responsible dude so I doubt you wouldn’t check somewhere else how to take care of a baby if I haven’t appeared in your life.”

"Thank you... I hope the baby will be healthy and won't get sick..." he said thoughtfully. "Babies take vaccines when they are born so they don't get sick, right? Also, if I leave it at home all the time, it won't get sick, right?"

“Oh, god, please tell me that you are not one of those anti-vax.” Alfred grunted, putting his chin over the table, tired just with the mere thought of that. “Don’t let humanity be ripped out of the planet because of diseases from the freaking middle ages. Give your child their vaccines!”

"Wait, there's people who don't vaccinate their babies?" Arthur asked, arching his eyebrows in surprise. "Doesn't that make babies get sick easily? Wow... I'll want to give all the possible vaccines for mine, because I don't want it to get sick and..." die, he thought, but he couldn't voice that word. So instead he just sighed, "Don't worry, I'm going to give my baby all the vaccines it needs."

“Hell yeah! That’s what I’m talking about!” Alfred crossed his arms over his chest with a approving smile and proud posture. “I know that my opinion must look biased since I work for the pharmaceutical industry, but seriously. I get so angry when I see people listening to urban legends instead of scientific facts.”

"Oh, really? Says the guy who believes zombies can happen." Arthur replied with skeptical arched eyebrows.

“HEY. There’s plenty of things in sci-fi that became real over time!”

"Uhum, right." Arthur replied, and Alfred seemed so offended and yet so determined that Arthur ended up smiling a little.

Not convinced that Arthur was buying what he said, Alfred decided to bring him some clarity about the subject by talking about his theories about a future zombie apocalypse for a loong time. He didn’t even notice the time passing. He was astonished when he realized that it was already 10:40 pm. Time flew by!

"Good night, Alfred." Arthur said as Alfred started to gather his belongings to leave, "Wish Emily good luck with her handwriting homework for me." He added, uncertain if he should be getting back home or if he could stay a few more minutes, watching the few people left in the restaurant from afar.

“Arthur! Wait!”  Alfred grabbed his arm, just before he could leave. “Do you know about today?”

“Know... what?” Arthur asked.

“Today is the last day of this event for the rest of the semester. The next one will be in like half a year.” Alfred hesitantly told Arthur about that, unsure if he had knowledge of that information or not. Maybe he did know about it and was quiet about it to not make their “goodbye” sentimental. “Do you… Do you wanna, I don’t know, keep in touch with me out of these parties?”

"Oh..." Arthur murmured downcast, looking around. He had enjoyed those dinner parties. It was a great distraction and something to look forward to; something to strive to reach Fridays. No matter how silly and simple it was, it was one of the few things that had been keeping Arthur going, "I would like that." He answered Alfred, looking at him only for a moment. Arthur didn't want to lose Alfred's company. He was a good guy and Arthur honestly enjoyed hearing him talk. Arthur liked to be in his presence, and besides, there was still so much he wanted to ask...

Hearing that, Alfred sighed with a relieved smile. He knew that his relationship with Arthur wasn’t and probably wouldn’t ever be a romantic one. There was no chances of that. Unlike him, Arthur was a recent widow. A recent widow expecting a baby from his deceased mate. Alfred wasn’t keeping touch with him to date him. He just wanted a new friend and the chance to help someone who looked like they really needed it.

“This is my number” he said, writing it in a napkin and giving it to Arthur across the table “When you have more questions about kids, just call me and we can schedule something! Just warn me a few days in advance. Like, three days is enough for me!”

Arthur accepted Alfred's number with a nod and held it firmly in his hand.

After Alfred left, he saved the number on his phone and spent several days pondering whether to call or send a message, but... As much as Arthur loved Alfred's company and wanted more of it, he didn't want to call so soon and get misunderstood. Arthur didn't want to sound like he wanted anything with Alfred, anything romantic or sexual, that is, because he really did not. He wasn't in a place to care for neither of those things and he didn't want Alfred to think so.

So he waited.

The following Friday, Arthur found himself sitting on the couch in his living room, facing the wall and wondering what he should do.

Should he finally call Alfred? Or should he just try and keep pretending he didn't care about the emptiness he was feeling, staring at that wall and thinking over every detail of every bad thing that had happened in his life?

Eventually, he pressed the call button on his phone, even if he didn't even know what to say and...

Well, part of him was hoping Alfred wasn't going to answer, that the phone would just ring and ring, but...

"Hello?" Alfred's voice said and Arthur held his breath on instinct. "Uh, hello?" Alfred repeated so Arthur, still holding his breath, ended the call as fast as he could, then buried his face in a cushion. Ugh... He shouldn't... he didn't know what to say. He shouldn't have called. Oh, god. He really shouldn't have called... He shouldn't have...!

Arthur was startled when his phone began to ring, Alfred's name on his screen. Nervously, he gasped and covered the device with a cushion, his face all red and heart pounding.

No, no, no, he didn't want to talk to Alfred...

But... but Alfred would find all of that odd and creepy, wouldn't he? Someone calling but not saying anything... If Arthur didn't answer that call, he could _never_ get in touch with Alfred again, because he surely would save that number as _Creep_ or something...

It was better to answer and make up some excuse.

"... Hello?" He said as he finally answered, trying to sound casual and not like someone who was about to have his heart come out of his mouth.

“Arthur? Is that you?” Alfred asked in a kinda hesitant but also amused voice. “Did you call me?”

"No!" Arthur said at once, his face getting warmer and then he was forced to correct, "I mean, yes, it's me, Arthur... but I didn't, I didn't call... Not on purpose, I mean... it was an accident. I was, uh..." He thought for a moment, "Checking my e-mail? Or something... I don't know how I ended up calling you, I'm sorry..."

“Oh. Did you just call by accident then? I guessed so since you were all silent during the call. Anyway! Hey, how are you doing??”

"Oh... I'm fine... Only now I'm getting my sickness in the afternoon, too. Hn, how about you, and the kids? I... I was going to call you, you know... And ask if you have any free time next week?" Arthur asked, hugging a cushion as he held the phone with a sweaty hand.

“So you DID call me on purpose?” Alfred laughed a bit, he couldn’t let that one pass.

“No! I just… I thought about calling… but I didn’t… not on purpose, as I said…” Arthur was quick to mumble.

“Well, it’s good that you called me _by accident._ ” Alfred’s smile was so noticeable in his voice. “I have some free time next week. Do you wanna go to a ice-cream store? I think you wouldn’t get nauseous in a ice-cream store since you can barely smell the food.”

"Oh... well, yes, I would like that. I still have some questions I'd like to ask you. I'm almost finished reading the book. Maybe I'll have finished it by next week."

“No hurries! You can read it as slow as you want! My kids are already in another stage of development and you need a book about how to deal with babies way more than I do!”

"Really?" Arthur wanted to check. It would be great to have that book for a little longer, so he could learn some more things, "Thank you, Alfred." He murmured, and before they could fall into an uncomfortable silence, Arthur asked, "And... How are your children, by the way?"

“They’re doing great, thanks! They are very happy to know they don’t have to spend the Fridays nights with a babysitter anymore. Haha. Going to regular events is nice but it’s a bit of pain to spare time every week for it.”

"I can imagine... and what are your plans for tonight? It's the first Friday after some time you'll spend together, isn't it?" Arthur asked. In the background, he could hear children talking and laughing.

“Well, since the kids can do their homework on the weekend, today we are going to order  a pizza and watch cartoons! I think we all deserve it!”

Arthur heard the children laughing and vibrating in the background, which made him smile a little and put his hand on his belly. His smile fell though as he ran his icy fingers through his sweater, staring up at the ceiling. The paint was peeling off, he noticed.

"Yes, I agree. You always talk about how much they always do their homework on time and behave, and you must be tired too. Hm... well... I'd better let you guys enjoy the night, then. I... I talk to you later?"

“Definitely! By the way, can I save your number?”

“Yeah, sure. You… you can call me whenever you want. When you want to go to that ice cream place, I mean.” Arthur said.

“How about… hm…  this Sunday?”

"Sunday? But... Wouldn't you rather spend the time with your kids? I think they deserve your time more than I do." Arthur said uncertainly.

“Nah, they are two traitors. They are going to an amusement park with my brother this Sunday. Can you believe they accepted his invitation without even telling me about it? I had to hear it from my bro!” Alfred said in an intentionally overdramatic voice to make his children, who were in the same room as him, aware that he was just joking around.

"Oh, I see. It does sounds fun. I would go too if I were them." Arthur replied, feeling a soft smile on his lips, "Okay. Sunday sounds good. Can you send me the address later, then?"

“Sure! If it is too far from your house, tell me, okay?”

“Okay.” Arthur said and after a few seconds of silence he added, “Uh, well… bye, Alfred. Good night. Have fun with the kids!”

Alfred hang up the phone with a big smile in his face that got stuck there during all the time he spent selecting cartoons episodes to watch with the kids.

Arthur was a nice omega and Alfred had to admit to himself that he felt pretty good being the hero for a good person dealing with bad stuff. It was nice to know that he was bringing happiness to a stranger and getting to make a new friend. Not to mention, he felt like he was paying a debt to the universe for all the help he received when he lost his mate and got in a similar situation to Arthur’s, having to take care of a baby without the help of a mate.

For all these reasons, Alfred decided that romances could wait. Alfred was young and maybe it would come naturally to him in a better moment if he waited. For now, he would keep focusing on his children, on his job and on his friends in his main time and getting to know and help Arthur on his free time. Yeah, that seemed like a nice idea.  

 


	2. Oh, the places you'll go!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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November 24, 2017

 

In the weeks that followed the last party they met a few times.

They met at ice cream shops or parks or restaurants. Every time, Arthur would ask questions about children, Alfred would answer them and eventually they would end up talking about other things as well. Throughout these meetings, Arthur was having fewer specific questions and more general ones, making Alfred talk more about his own children and tell stories about them.

Arthur genuinely liked Alfred's company. He was a good person, he was fun and he seemed to be a great father.

So much that, after an hour or two with Arthur, he would start looking at his watch and phone and make brief comments about the nanny the children were with, wondering if they'd already eaten, if they'd done their homework and things like that.

Arthur thought about telling Alfred they didn't need to keep meeting each other if Alfred thought it was more troublesome than anything else, but... Arthur liked the company. He liked the distraction, he liked to be outside his empty apartment for a reason other than work. He liked to focus on someone else's life for a brief moment; a simpler, happier life.

So even if hesitantly, he made a suggestion.

"You know... we can meet at your house if you want. I mean, you're always so worried about leaving your kids with some nanny. That way you could take care of them yourself while you're with me?"

That proposal was extremely tempting to Alfred since he wanted to keep seeing Arthur regularly but also felt bad leaving his kids with babysitters at least once per week. Still, he hesitated to accept it because it would probably be uncomfortable for Arthur to stay with two children and an alpha in an unknown environment. Arthur was a reserved type, after all.

“You don’t need to worry about that kind of stuff. I’m okay.” Alfred shrugged with a accidentaly hesitant smile.

"You've already told me how much you don't like to leave the children with nannies that you don't know well, and that the usual nanny can't stay with them every week." Arthur commented as he held his glass of water with both hands and stared at it, "I feel like you can still teach me some things about being a good parent and... to be honest, I like to talk to you, so... I wouldn't mind it. In fact, I would like to meet your children."

Alfred always received complaints of friends and co-workers about being one of those parents who speak way too much about their children and are worried about then all the time. Therefore, it was pleasantly surprising to meet someone who was always interested to hear about Emily and Billy and who now was interested in meeting them. Arthur was so nice.

“Oh…” Alfred pretended to be just cool about that, although he was cheering inside. It would be really embarrassing if he showed how freaking happy he was to Arthur. “I mean, yeah, sure. That would be nice, I guess. Do you want to have our next meeting at my house, then?”

Arthur nodded,

"Yes, sure. Give me your address later, and a date. Hm. Is there a bus stop near your place?"

“Actually, I think the nearest bus stop is like three blocks down mine so it’s not that close. Especially for you, Mr. carrying-a-baby. Just take a cab!”

"Oh..." Arthur muttered, a tight grip on his glass, "Alright."

… or so said Arthur but Alfred had a different opinion about his feelings on that matter, since Arthur’s smell became quite bitter with that suggestion.

“Don’t you like cabs?” Alfred asked slightly confused “Or are they just expensive for you?”

"I don't trust taxi drivers." Arthur replied quickly, "I prefer buses, then I'm not _alone_... the bus stop closest to my flat is about two blocks away, so I'll be fine." He assured Alfred, "I'm used to walking."

That seemed like a lot of exercise for a pregnant person but if Arthur had problems with cabs, there was nothing Alfred could do about it.

“Eh, alright, then. If you change your mind about it, let me know and we can figure out another way to bring  you there! I will send my address to your e-mail, okay?”

“Okay.” Arthur agreed.

And so it was settled that Arthur would dine at Alfred's house the next weekend.

They agreed on 6:30 p.m., so Arthur took a crowded bus at 5:30 to go downtown and there, he took another bus to go to the neighborhood where Alfred lived. Luckily for Arthur, most people in that neighborhood had a car, so the bus was not as crowded as the previous one. Arthur followed the bus route on his phone GPS and got out of it in the spot that Alfred had indicated.

In the second he set foot off the bus, however, Arthur shrank, feeling his body tremble.

It was already dark and very, very cold.

The freezing wind from early December made Arthur hug himself as he walked, a scarf wrapped around his neck and covering part of his face. He wished he had brought a winter hat with him.

The three blocks, Arthur discontentedly noticed, were _huge_. Each one was double the size of the blocks from where Arthur lived, which was a very unpleasant surprise.

When he _finally_ arrived at Alfred's house and rang the bell, Arthur was feeling very cold and at the same time he felt sweaty from all the walking, which was a terrible combination.

As soon as Alfred opened the door, his charming ‘good host’ smile immediately withered. Arthur looked like he was freezing out there; hugging his own body and moving his knees up and down to keep himself warm. He looked very pitiful.

That’s why, before even saying a single word to him, Alfred put an arm around his shoulders and brought him quickly inside.

And Arthur didn’t had the strength to push Alfred away because he was so, so warm and Arthur was so cold...

"I forgot... I forgot to check the weather forecast before... leaving home..." Arthur explained, trying to stop his chin from trembling.

“Are you kidding? Why are you explaining yourself to me? This was definitely my fault!” Alfred argued, making Arthur sit on his couch and putting over him all the nearest cushions he could find. “I didn’t notice how bad it would be to walk three blocks when you’re pregnant and it’s so cold outside. I just thought ‘well, that’s a five minute distance’ because I was thinking about the time it takes me to go there by car. I’m such an idiot!”

“Dad!!! You told us to not use the word ‘idiot’ and you’re using it now! Bad dad!”

Arthur blinked, caught off guard by the childish voice, and looked for its owner. She was standing by the dinner table, her arms folded and with a serious expression, and Arthur smiled a little as he hugged one of the cushions to help himself warm up.

"Hello," he said, "you must be Emily."

“And you must be dad’s new boyfriend.” Emily answered, making Alfred’s entire face burn with a single sentence. Oh, my god!!!  Kids _._ They really could kill someone of embarrassment.

“No, I already told you about Arthur!” Alfred got up, dismissively waving his arms, still blushing. “Arthur is my friend! Like Kiku! He only came here because it’s more convenient for him! No other reason besides that!”

"I hope I can be your friend, too, Emily." Arthur said with a small smile to the little girl, and noticing a little head peering at them, sitting in a chair at the table, he added, "And yours too, Bill."

Alfred didn’t know how to say it to Arthur that he was still busy, helping Emily and Bill with their homework. Arthur had arrived in time but Alfred had taken longer than he thought he would to explain to Billy different color combinations and to Emily the difference between a square and a rectangle. Not to mention that the school passed way too much homework to the kids. It was almost Winter break. Why couldn’t they chill?

“Arthur, hey, do you mind resting for a bit while I finish helping the kids with their homework?” Alfred asked awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.

Arthur shook his head.

"It's all right." He answered, and in answer to that Alfred smiled.

Arthur watched, hugging his cushion to warm himself, as Alfred helped the children with their homework. Bill looked bored with it, while Emily seemed to be confused and, despite trying to get it right, she was clearly disinterested.

Arthur felt as if he was watching that family on television; they worked so well together and they were so distracted with themselves that it was as if Arthur was not there at all. Not that he had a problem with that: he liked the distraction.

Touching his belly, he thought that in a few years he would be in the same position as Alfred, helping his baby with its homework. And then he thought it would be interesting if there were more electronic games that helped kids learn that sort of thing. Colorful characters and songs would make children of Bill's age memorize how colors blend and how to make simple math.

The idea stayed in his head for the rest of that moment, with him making some reminders that he should talk to his boss about it.

After finishing their homework, the children complained they were hungry. So Alfred checked with Arthur to see if he was also hungry to determine how much food he would have to make and, most important, if the smell of the food would make him nauseous.

“You’re going to have dinner here, right, Arthur?” Alfred asked, sitting right next to Arthur on the couch. “What would you like to eat? Pasta with sausage? Fruit salad with ice-cream? A banana smoothie?”

"… ice cream?" Arthur asked, puzzled, "I'll be fine, so you can make whatever you think is best..."

“Yep, I put just a little bit of it in the salad to convince them to eat it.” Alfred whispered, hiding his mouth with his hand so the kids wouldn’t notice what he was saying. “Are you interested in trying some?”

"Oh, clever of you! It sounds like a great dessert," Arthur nodded. "You can make pasta, you know, or something like that. My sickness is going away, so I'll be fine."

“Alright! In that case, don’t you wanna help us? I always cook with the help of my little ones so if you’re interested we can…!” before Alfred finished his sentence, Emily approached him and put her head over his shoulder in a very abrupt and rough move, almost making him fall over with the sudden weight. “Hey, calm down now, little princess! I know you’re hungry! I’m just checking if my friend doesn’t wanna cook with us! Hold on a sec!”

"I think I can help, yes." Arthur said, "The more help you have, the sooner we can eat, right?" He added, offering a small smile to Emily.

“Yay!” Emily smiled happily, showing Arthur her hand so he could give her a high five. She seemed pretty chill about Arthur’s presence in their house. Bill, however, seemed to be very frightened by that stranger’s presence and was carefully hiding behind a wall while his sister made the food negotiations.

As any good father would, Alfred decided to give more attention to the one who needed it the most and went to comfort Billy and make him feel safe while Emily took Arthur to the kitchen.

“Em, please show Arthur where we keep the pans and the ingredients to make pasta! Your brother and I will be there in a minute!” Alfred asked. Almost unnecessarily considering that Emily was already gladfully bringing Arthur to their kitchen, excited to show him more parts of the house.  

Once in the kitchen, after Emily showed him where the pots and pans were, Arthur selected one he thought was the right size, filled it with water, and set it on the stove. He then looked around, uncertain about what else to do. He didn't want to just go and open Alfred's refrigerator or cupboards. So, after hesitating, he ended up asking Emily,

"We can set the table in the meantime. Can you show me where the dishes are?"

Meanwhile, Alfred was having problems to convince Billy to socialize. His boy was a bit shy and a new face in the house didn’t seem like a good thing to him. Despite Alfred trying to carry Billy to the kitchen multiple times, Billy always made a face like he was about to cry and hugged his knees and, goddamnit, Alfred had to stop. He had a heart. He couldn’t bring himself to force the kid to a situation that made him so unhappy. The only problem was that leaving an emotionally vulnerable Arthur to the cares of his nine years old daughter also seemed like a bad, bad option. In his point of view, at least.

Emily, however, thought she had things under control and was very unbashful interacting with their visitor.

Emily showed Arthur where the dishes were, but before picking them up, he checked:

"Do you and your brother eat with glass dishes too?"

“Nope.” she shook her head sideways “My dad is scared of we getting hurt if we break them so we eat in plastic plates. I think I’m too old for plastic plates but daddy is worried about it so we have to do what he says.”

Arthur nodded.

"Where are the plastic plates, then?" He asked, and then added, "Your father wants the best for you two. But I'm sure that soon he'll let you use the glass dishes as well."

Right after saying it, Arthur ended up letting one of the glass plates fall in his way to the table, causing Emily to scream and Alfred to instinctively put a crying Bill in his arms before running to the local of the incident.

There was a lot of blue shards all over the floor and yeah, that would be a pain to clean later but, fortunately, Arthur and Emily didn’t seem to be hurt and that was the most important thing to Alfred.

“Emily, Arthur! Are you guys okay? Did any of you get hurt?” he asked worried and distressed “Careful! Don’t step on the glass!”

"I-I..." Arthur stammered, puzzled, a little frightened and very, very embarrassed. The plate slipped from his fingers and he felt so stupid and clumsy for letting it fall. His eyes became wet and he shook his head, "Alfred, I'm sorry. I don't know what... I... I'm going to clean it up. I'm so sorry. Oh, Emily, be careful." He said as Emily took a step forward, "Here, I'll take you to the living room so you don't step on the glass. You're just wearing socks... I..."

“Arthur, don’t worry about it! Seriously! I’m just worried about you guys! Can you just take care of Bill and Emily while I clean this mess?” as Alfred said it, Bill hid his face on his father’s shoulder, upset about that plan but Alfred had to disappoint him this time because there was no way he could keep an eye on two kids while doing anything dangerous. “Bill, I promise you that Arthur is a really nice guy so be nice to him as well, okay?” he gently asked his son.  

"No, it's alright! I-I can clean this up, no problem! It was me who made the mess, after all! Seriously, it's okay. Really." Arthur assured him anxiously.

From Alfred's perspective, there was nothing to discuss there. Arthur had to rest. He got such a fright, he was almost crying now! If Alfred left Arthur to clean the shards, Arthur would just hurt himself.

With that in mind, Alfred delivered a reluctant but obedient Bill to his guest’s arms and leaned closer to his ear, muttering “please distract the kids while I take care of this. Sorry about the trouble. I promise you they will behave”, before leaving to grab a broom and a shovel to clean all the broken glass.

Arthur had never picked up a child before, so his heart began to pound, for fear of letting Bill fall or hurting him by squeezing him too much, or... or anything else like that.

Swallowing, he went back to the living room, guiding Emily to follow him closely and avoid the glass on the floor. There, carefully, he set Bill on the couch and stepped away from him so he could climb onto his sister's lap.

Arthur then sighed, trembling and ashamed, and rubbed his eyes to wipe away the tears that had formed there. Ugh. The first time he went to Alfred's house, he...!

“Don’t cry.” Emily comforted him, giving him little taps on the top of his head. “I also break a lot of stuff. I even hide some from my dad.”

Arthur looked up at the little girl in surprise.

"You shouldn't hide things from your father, you know." He said with a small smile.

“He worries too much about everything.” she answered in a very nonchalant way. “Same as you. And Billy. I’m pretty sure I’m the only person who has everything under control in this house.”

That, coming from a nine-year-old girl... Arthur ended up laughing a little, feeling his eyes getting wet again, but for a different reason.

He honestly could not remember the last time he'd laughed, even if a little. It had been at least a few months. He felt his cheeks warm, as if his muscles were no longer accustomed to that movement.

"How do you keep everything under control?" He asked, "What's your secret?"

Emily made a confused expression, as if she had never thought too hard about it.

“I just… I just do!” she answered, seeming a bit uncertain but very stubborn about it. “I always do my best to be a good girl and not leave all the work to my dad!”

"That's a great plan." Arthur nodded. "Your father is lucky to have a girl like you keeping things in order."

While that interesting conversation took place, Alfred finished sweeping the glass scattered around the kitchen and living room and went to pick up the vacuum cleaner just to make sure there wouldn’t be a single shard left there that could hurt his children or his guest.

“Hey, Arthur, sorry to bother you again.” Alfred approached the two, carrying a vacuum. “Can you take the kids to the kitchen while I vacuum the living room? The water is boiling and someone needs to put the pasta in the pan.”

"Oh." Arthur sniffed and rubbed his eyes discreetly, "Sure, no problem. Uh. Bill, is it okay if I pick you up again?" He asked as he reached for the boy.

Bill agreed with a nod and a slightly unhappy face. Poor boy. Alfred would have to think of a nice reward to give him for being so well-behaved in Arthur’s presence even though he was clearly intimidated by him.

Carefully, Arthur took Bill in his arms, leading him into the kitchen and being followed closely by Emily.

He placed Bill sitting on a chair and picked up the pasta to put in the pan. He felt like he was forgetting something, though, but he couldn't remember what it was.

“Put salt in the pasta! And garlic! And sausage!” Emily reminded him, pulling his clothes. “Aren’t you going to fry the garlic? Or grate the cheese?”

Oh, salt, right. And... everything else...

"Uh... Garlic goes... goes along with the pasta? Or later?" He asked, confused.

“Hm, first you make the pasta! Then you put the sausage sauce on it! Or was it the other way around? I don’t know! Maybe it doesn’t make any difference!”

When Alfred returned to the kitchen and put his vacuum aside, he noticed that Arthur seemed to be very lost about the progress of the dinner preparations. He kept picking different ingredients and then putting them aside and staring at the pan filled with pasta as if he was facing a elaborate puzzle. Alfred couldn’t help but let out a chuckle looking at him.  

“Are you having problems here? Never fear for Alfred is here now to save the day!” Alfred winked at him, giving him a thumbs-up.

"Emily is helping me, but... I don't know how to make these complicated sauces..." Arthur commented, handing the spoon he was holding to Alfred and then looking away, "... sorry for all the trouble..."

Alfred took control of the situation by putting a little salt in the water and checking to see if it was done. It looked like it still needed a bit more of time.

“Actually, it’s a pretty easy recipe once you learn it. I’m not very good at cooking.” Alfred admitted. “I cook with my kids to convince them to keep eating my food even though I don’t know many recipes.” he explained, stirring the pasta. “To make this dish, you only need to cook the pasta and then add a sauce to it, which is pretty simple to make.”

Arthur nodded, pretending to agree with Alfred that the sauce was simple.

"What do you most like to cook?" He asked Emily.

“I like making fruit salads. Meat has a nasty smell when it’s raw!” Emily said, making a face and covering her nose.

“You love eating meat, though!” Alfred amusedly pointed out. He finally turned off the stove, thinking that the pasta looked pretty nice now. “Listen, Emily. To have roast beef, you need raw meat first. Equivalent exchange!”

" _Equivalent exchange_... is it not the main idea of a series?" Arthur asked as he noticed how Alfred was grinning.

“It might be.” Alfred smirked, appreciating Arthur getting the reference. “Can you drain the pasta while I make the sauce, Arthur?”

"Um, sure." Arthur replied, doing what Alfred had asked him carefully not to drop anything else. And as he did so, he watched Alfred closely as he prepared the sauce, wondering if he could reproduce the recipe on his own later.

Alfred instructed Emily to pick up the ingredients for him and grate the cheese as he cut the sausages and mixed everything in a pan. He also asked Emily to help him mix the sauce a little before putting it on the stove, even if it was a more symbolic gesture than anything.

Meanwhile, Arthur sat in a chair next to Bill,

"Don't you like to cook, too?" he asked. The little boy flinched and turned his face to the side, which Arthur took as a bad sign. Maybe he shouldn't have said anything.

“Bill is too small to help. He just watch us to learn how to do it later.” Emily replied for his brother, as Alfred concentrated on trying the sauce to see if it was already done.

Arthur nodded, deciding to leave Bill alone.

"Can I help with anything else?" He asked.

Distracted by his task, without even listening to Arthur's question, Alfred poured the sausage sauce into the pasta, mixing them as he whistled a song. He was happy to turn to the table and see Arthur getting along with his children. They made the most adorable group in the world together.

"Who wants to have dinner now?" He asked, proudly holding their dish for that night.

As the children raised their hands excitedly, Arthur simply watched Alfred as he smilingly served the children's plates and helped Bill to his chair.

Arthur only served himself after that, when Alfred asked him to do it, and only ate after Alfred had already served his own plate as well.

The pasta was delicious. Arthur made sure to say so to Alfred.

This praise was well received not only by Alfred, but his children who smiled excitedly and exchanged happy looks.

“Daddy's great!” Emily said, making Alfred slightly embarrassed.

"I didn’t teach her to say that!" He hurried up to say, before Arthur had the wrong impression.

“Of course not! I'm not a parrot!” Emily said. “I'm saying that dad is great because he IS great.”

Arthur smiled at the little girl,

"Yes I agree. You and Bill are great too, Emily. I hope my baby will be great as well." He commented casually.

Oh, Alfred hadn’t told this detail about Arthur to his children! How would they react to these news?  
“Are you going to have a baby???” Emily asked, seeming suspicious of this statement. "If you're going to have a baby, why isn’t your belly big?"

"The baby is still too small. My belly will grow bigger as it grows." Arthur explained, amused by Emily's curiosity.

"How big is the baby going to get?" Emily asked curiously. She could not remember much of Antonio's pregnancy. She was too small at the time.

"I don't know," Arthur said honestly, placing a hand on his belly, "Well, really big, I think, so my belly will get really big too."

"Satisfied, young lady?" Alfred joked, bending over to her side and ruffling his daughter's hair. "Now, eat your pasta, princess!"

“I’m gonna eat it! I’m gonna eat it! Why are you complaining, dad? You always tell me not to eat too fast!”

“Darn it, you got me this time.”

The rest of the dinner went quietly. Emily didn't ask any more questions about the baby, but Arthur caught her staring at his belly several times. He almost asked if she would like to touch it but ended up not doing so. In the end, when they finished eating and Arthur praised Alfred for the food once again, he also offered to wash the dishes.

"I'm sorry I broke a plate before, but I guarantee it won't happen again. I'll be more careful. I'd like to at least help out a bit." He insisted after Alfred denied his offer the first time.

“Come on, Arthur. You are a guest. I'll handle this after you’re gone.” Alfred stated, carrying the dishes to the sink. "I want to play a game with you and the kids while you're here and I know you can’t leave too late”.

Arthur wanted to insist, but he could feel that Alfred wouldn't change his mind, so he sighed.

"Okay... what kind of game?"

* * *

 

“Alright! This is how the game works! You hold that controller in one hand and put this little cord around your wrist for safety! Then... there you choose a song and you have to dance just like the person on the screen! You got it?” Emily explained while Alfred put his Just Groove disc inside his video game.

The dirt dishes were left on the sink for later, the kids’ homework was done, Arthur didn’t seem about to die of hypothermia anymore... Now, they could have some real fun!

"I see..." Arthur replied with a bland smile. Emily was offering him one of the controllers, but he shook his head. "Can I see you playing once before I try?" he asked because he had never played that before and he knew that he didn't have enough motor coordination to not embarrass himself.

“That’s all right, Mr. Arthur! We can dance together, right, dad??” Emily ran towards Alfred, friendly patting his back as he crouched on the floor, turning the video game on.

“Yes, princess. Just be prepared to lose. I won’t take it easy for you just because we are in front of visitors”. Alfred teased, turning to her with a huge grin.

“I don’t need your pity! I'm going to have a fair victory!” Emily assured him with her thumb up and a charming wink, in mannerisms that really made it clear that she was Alfred's daughter.

“I want the mermaid song.” Billy shyly asked, sitting on his favorite corner of the couch.

Alfred played the mermaid song and Arthur and Bill sat on the couch to watch Alfred and Emily dance. The movements were simple and the two of them seemed to be having fun, with Alfred laughing and winking at Emily constantly, while the little girl seemed to be taking it much more seriously. At the end of the song, Arthur clapped.

"Who won?" He asked curiously.

Emily had won. Barely. Three stars versus two by Alfred. Well, maybe Arthur would think that Alfred had been just kind to her, letting her win, but he had been serious during their match! Just not as intensely serious as Emily.

Emily put her fists up in the air, celebrating, and Alfred snorted, rolling his eyes.

"I was not serious enough.” he mumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. Arthur seemed to find it funny.

"Who'll dance now?" Arthur asked, trying to stay on the couch for as long as possible, "Emily and Bill?"

Bill got up and ran towards Alfred and Emily, looking pleased to accept that proposal. After hearing the mermaid's song, he got really excited to dance too.

"Okay, but only if we don’t dance the mermaid song again. “Bill just wants to hear the mermaid song.” Emily complained, and in fact the next words that came from Bill's mouth were ‘mermaid song! Mermaid song!’

“Come on, princess.” Alfred encouraged Emily, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Be nice to your little brother. He loves the mermaid song.”

“He loves it too much!”

“Mermaid song! Mermaid song!” Bill started to hop around like a rabbit, with clenched fists and a bright smile.

In the end, Emily agreed to dance to the mermaid song with her brother, bragging about being a great sister, and Alfred came to sit on the couch beside Arthur while the children danced.

"They're so cute." Arthur commented casually, smiling a little more as he saw Bill jumping and laughing as Emily struggled to imitate the person on the television screen.

“Yes, they are”. Alfred nodded, smiling tenderly at his children. "I'm very proud of them”.

"I can see that." Arthur nodded. "Bill was so shy when I got here... but now he seems to be enjoying himself."

“Yes, he REALLY likes the mermaid song.” Alfred laughed. Arthur was also a bit shy and nervous when he arrived, but Alfred felt that pointing that out would only make him more self-conscious so he didn’t.

"I can see that too." Arthur said, "Uh... I don't know if I can do this..." he remarked finally, scratching the nape of his neck, "To dance, I mean..."

“Awww, come on!” Alfred turned to Arthur with a huge pout. “We _must_ dance a song together! How can we keep on living without knowing who is the best dancer between us?”

"We don't have to dance to know it's you..." Arthur shrugged, "I... I'll probably just embarrass myself..."

"Noooo, I’m sure you won’t! I won’t judge your dancing moves, silly. However, I _will_ judge you for not dancing with me!” Alfred joked (in part).

Arthur looked down when the children's dance ended and Emily jumped victoriously, winning by two stars. Even having lost, Bill didn't look upset and ran towards Alfred, who ruffled his hair and kissed his forehead.

Arthur would feel silly dancing along with Alfred, because he could see how awkwardly his moves would be compared to Alfred’s, however...

"Bill, do you want to dance with me now?" We can dance to the mermaid song again." he asked. He wouldn't feel too silly if he danced with Bill. After all, he'd just be playing with a kid, right? He would feel more comfortable that way.

And even if he didn't trust Arthur, Bill eventually accepted it because, really, he was very fond of that song.

The mermaid song was a peaceful romantic song. Bill, however, only knew how to dance it by jumping up and down, which was kind of funny. Now, something that Alfred had never noticed before is that that dance had some beautiful smooth moves to watch. He enjoyed dancing it with his children just to play around, but seeing Arthur do it, he honestly felt a little charmed. Arthur’s movements looked amazing.

And as he danced Arthur knew he was being watched, but he tried not to feel too embarrassed about it. The dancer on the TV was making elegant and smooth moves with her arms and hips, but Arthur knew he was all clumsy and rigid, which must have been funny (Emily was laughing after all).

Glancing to the side to see how Bill was doing, Arthur tripped in his own foot.

And fell.

Alfred almost had a heart attack. He got up in seconds, cushioning Arthur's fall with his own body. Luckily, he was right behind Arthur and he was able to catch him in time.

Alfred had wrapped his arms around Arthur's waist and pulled Arthur towards himself. So instead of falling on the floor, Arthur had fallen on Alfred, practically sitting on his lap.

Panting, eyes wet with fright, Arthur moved from Alfred's lap and sat down beside him on the couch.

"I-I'm sorry... I didn't hurt you, right? I told you I can't dance..."

“Are you alright???” Alfred asked, holding Arthur's face and staring at him intensely, looking for any sign of pain in his face. Arthur was only a few weeks pregnant. A fright in these circumstances could be highly dangerous. Alfred was genuinely distressed. Who cared about the fact that his own back hurt a little because of the impact??? Arthur could lose his baby!  “Breathe, okay? Breathe deeply. I... I'm going to make some chamomile tea for you! I read somewhere they have a calming effect!!!”

"Why are you so nervous?" I... did I get hurt...?" Arthur asked as he tried not to sound scared, looking at himself and then back at Alfred. Emily and Bill both looked nervous as well, and Arthur was feeling lost.

SHIT. ALFRED WAS MAKING THE SITUATION WORSE.

Maybe he was the one who needed a deep breath!

“I… I just got worried! Are you okay? You aren’t feeling anything weird, are you??” he asked, letting go of Arthur's face, but still looking intensely at it.

"No, I'm not..." Arthur muttered, staring at the floor. His heart was beating too fast and his face felt too warm, but... other than that, he felt fine.

Alfred sighed with relief, but his heart remained apprehensive and he wanted to do everything possible to make Arthur comfortable and relaxed.

"I think we had enough dancing for today." Alfred replied with a tired smile. "Now the adults are going to watch a movie and the kids will go to bed because it's late for them!”

It was getting late for Arthur as well, but he knew there would still be buses, so... he'd be fine.

Plus, it was fun to watch the kids grumble that they didn't want to go to sleep yet and Alfred insist they needed to and running after them to tickle them and to make sure they would brush their teeth.

After putting Emily and Bill to sleep, Alfred joined Arthur on the couch and they went through several channels, looking for a good movie to watch.

Arthur curled up on the couch, so warm and cozy, and looked out the window. Arthur was not sure if it was snowing or raining, but anyway he sighed. It was probably much colder outside than when he had arrived, and he was not at all excited to face his journey back home.

"I've seen this movie." He said as Alfred paused on one of the channels, "It's cute. And it has just started."

Alfred agreed to watch the movie Arthur suggested, curious to see some of the tastes of his new friend. He and Arthur were sitting at different ends of the couch, with a reasonable distance between them and Arthur looked very comfortable in that position, which made Alfred pretty glad.

Arthur had watched that movie a long time ago with Gilbert. He remembered they had missed a few bits here and there making out and making silly jokes about the characters, and perhaps that was the reason why he had liked the movie at the time. Reviewing those memories was a bit painful, but Arthur did his best not to cry or let it show.

By the time the movie was over, even though his eyes were wet, he had managed let out some funny comments and act casual, which was nice.

"I should go now," Arthur said as he looked out the window again.

Alfred checked the clock in the living room and saw that, in fact, it was pretty late, indeed. It was already half past eleven. Time had passed so fast. Wow.  
"Oh, all right. I'll call a cab for you now!” Alfred said, getting up to pick up his phone.

"Oh, no, it’s fine!" Arthur was quick to say. At that hour, a  taxi would cost too much! "I don't like taxis, remember?"

“I know and I'm sorry.” Alfred said, his phone already pressed to his ear. "But I can call you as soon as you get in the cab and keep talking to you until you get there. It's late and I can’t let you walk out on the streets this late and in this weather, Arthur.” He added seriously.

Arthur opened his mouth to answer, but honestly, he didn't know what to say. He knew that Alfred was being logical, and that there was no better alternative, but even so…!

Arthur sighed, frustrated, and folded his arms as Alfred spoke on the phone. He hoped the taxi could take credit cards because he didn't want to borrow money.

However, that was not necessary because when Arthur was getting into the cab, Alfred put twenty dollars in his hand and said "To help pay for your race! In case you don’t have enough money at the moment since you thought you would just get another bus."

That was true. Arthur had five dollars in his wallet, at most six counting some change.

With his face flushed in embarrassment, Arthur looked down and nodded.

"I'll pay you back next time." He said.

“Don’t worry about it. You can pay me by making more visits to my house! I really had fun today!” Alfred waved happily, feeling his heart calm down as Arthur entered a car. That looked so much safer compared to the idea of him walking to the bus stop again. Arthur was a bit distrustful with taxis and, honestly, Alfred would give him a ride home in other circumstances, but he could not just leave his two small children alone in the middle of the night even for a few minutes. That would have to do.

They said goodbye and Arthur sighed after he informed his address to the driver. He commented he didn’t know where that was and that he’d need to follow his GPS. Arthur decided not to say anything about that.

Less than half a minute later after they left the street where Alfred lived, Arthur's phone rang in his pocket. He picked up his phone and ended up smiling at Alfred's name on the screen. He even got a little guilty about it.

"You really called." He said as he answered.

“ _Duuuuh, ‘course I did._ ” Alfred voice’s clearly suggested he was smiling. “ _Despite getting scared twice, did you have fun today?_ ”

"Yes," Arthur confessed, "... I haven't had this much fun since..." He trailed off and stared at the blur of houses they were passing by, his eyes heavy, his chest heavy. "...In a long time."

“ _Did you enjoy dinner? I’m not the better cook but I do my best._ ”

"Dinner was great, Alfred, don't worry about it. I'm sorry I broke a dish, though... really. I'm so sorry."

“ _That was just a dish. That’s fine!”_ Alfred's voice became a little louder and more emphatic. “ _Look, I was more concerned with you than with a plate, Arthur. By the way, you were a bit clumsy today. Do you think that was because you were nervous?”_

"I don't know... I've been a bit clumsy for the last a few days, but not _this_ clumsy..." he sighed.

" _Then, maybe it's something related to your pregnancy. Changes in the body and such. Hey…  Be careful, okay? I care about you._ ” Alfred's last two sentences came with a slight touch of embarrassment.

"... Yeah..." Arthur muttered. For some reason, those words made his chest feel heavy. He sighed, "Alfred, I..." Arthur began to say, but noticing the look the taxi driver was giving him, apparently interested in his conversation, he cringed in his corner and swallowed half the words he meant to say, "... thank you. For everything."

“ _You're welcome. I hope you're comfortable coming here more often. To be honest, I was pretty worried you'd find it kinda weird to go to an alpha's house._ ” Alfred let out a nervous laugh. " _Especially a alpha with two kids._ ”

"Everything's so weird right now, that was one of the most normal things I've done lately." Arthur laughed a little, holding the phone firmly against his ear. "Your children are lovely. It was great meeting them."

“ _Would you... Would you like to make other visits here? If you want, I'll pick you up at home with the kids. So it wouldn’t be heavy on your body._ ”

“Oh, uh…”

That seemed like a bad idea. It wouldn't be good if Alfred went with the children to...

"That sounds great. But, uh... you can pick me up at work or something. It would be more practical." he suggested.

“ _Oh yes! You're right! I can do this too! Where do you work, by the way? You never told me nothing about your job!_ ”

"Oh, true. I'm a game developer. I work for a small company, so... it's not a big deal" he answered.

“ _WHAT?! YOU ARE A GAME DEVELOPER???_ ” Alfred's voice rose so high that Arthur had to momentarily pull his phone away from his ear. “ _THIS IS AMAZING! YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME THAT BEFORE! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! WHAT KIND OF GAME DO YOU MAKE??!_ ”

Arthur noticed the streets getting quieter and the houses losing size and light as they approached his neighborhood. He could smell the taxi driver's tense smell and it made him tense too.

"It's no big deal, really. It's a very small company. I work with psychological horror games..." He smirked at that, mocking his karma, "That's why I still have a job. My boss says my _tormented soul_ can contribute to our upcoming games atmosphere. I... I can show you something some time. Some of the games, I mean."

“ _Oh. I mean… Sure!!! During the day, right_???” Alfred asked, disguising as best he could (not very well) the fear in his voice. " _Not that I mind if it's night, but, haha! I don’t want the children to walk on us playing the game and have nightmares!_ ”

"Of course." Arthur replied. He thought Alfred sounded uncomfortable, but he wasn't sure. If they were closer, he'd ask about it.

Arthur noticed that they were already in the street in which his building was and sighed. A bus trip that took almost two hours, by car had not even reached twenty minutes.

"The taxi is in front of my building now, so... uh, thank you, Alfred. Good night." Arthur said awkwardly.

“ _You’re welcome, dude! Take care! Let’s do this again!_ ”

Arthur ended the call and paid the taxi driver, who disappeared around the corner before Arthur could even enter the building. He closed his coat tightly and went inside, climbing the stairs to his apartment without haste. There was nothing waiting for him there.


	3. Llama Llama Holiday Drama

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, we meet again!  
> This time we have a nice and fun Christmas chapter, because it’s December for them although we are not even past Halloween yet, I hope that’s okay…!  
> Thank you so much for all the lovely comments and kudos, you guys are the best! 
> 
> Special thanks to the precious Sadaf_Awesome, spukusuk19, RantingFangirl, caramelarschhut, aedynlex23 and Gawd for commenting in the second chapter!! Mayumi just finished answering all of you <3
> 
> Also thanks for everyone else who left kudos: depressedandpie, Gamergal126, Marikokitty, Dearestme, BrattyAmericat, BrattyAmericat and all the guests! Thanks! We hope you're enjoying the fic!
> 
>  
> 
> Please let us know what you think of this chapter as well! It was super fun to write~ :3c

 

December 8, 2017

 

With December starting, Alfred began to prepare for Christmas celebrations with his family. November still had kind of a Halloween vibe to it but now Christmas was full on, baby! He couldn’t make elaborate Christmas dishes and he didn’t have time to cover his entire house in ornaments and lights, but he wanted to make sure his kids would eat a nice dinner and that his Christmas tree would be absolutely gorgeous.

Everyone was running around in December. Going after Christmas gifts, decorations to put around the house, distant relatives who had to be invited to awkward family parties, all of that.

So Alfred couldn’t help but to wonder: how would _Arthur_ spend his Christmas Eve? He had not said anything about going out with someone. Also, did he even had family there? Was he invited to something?

* * *

 

"Are you sure? You can stay with us, you know."

"Francis, I'm not going to spend Christmas with Joan's family. I don't even _know_ them." Arthur sighed. It was the second Christmas invitation he had refused that day.

"Well, I'm asking because I don't know if it's a good idea for you to be alone. And Ludwig told me you declined his invitation too." Francis replied.

"And since when do you talk to Ludwig?" Arthur raised his eyebrows in surprise,

"Ever since my best friend got sick and we bumped into the hospital corridors in a daily basis." The answer came dry and followed by a sigh, "We just want the best for you and for the baby."

"I know. I know. But I don't want to spend Christmas with strangers and I don't want to spend Christmas with Gil's family, Francis. I... I can't." Arthur confessed, swallowing dry and feeling that knot in his throat that made his eyes wet.

He'd thought about it, and he just could not bear the thought of spending Christmas with Gilbert's family, with all those people who resembled him, who spoke like him. Arthur knew it would be difficult for them too, and that they cared and would like to feel the baby and see that a small part of Gilbert was alive, but... Arthur just wanted to stay home, just wanted to be alone, where he wouldn't need to hold his tears in or fake smiles.

"It's okay." Francis said then, "I'll keep my phone nearby, so call me if you need anything. Take care, okay?"

"Okay." Arthur murmured, "Wish Joan a Merry Christmas for me."

After ending the call, Arthur curled up in his bed and hugged one of his pillows. Despite everything, he had good friends. And that made him think about Alfred, and about how much his Christmas would probably be colorful and nice. Arthur smiled a little. He decided to buy a gift for the kids later, when the prices dropped after Christmas. Maybe something for Alfred as well, as a thank you for the book, the tips and for the nice company.

 

* * *

 

With four days left before Christmas, Alfred invited Arthur to pay him a quick visit in the evening, already kinda expecting to be rejected because the holiday was so close and Arthur surely was busy as most people were at that time of the year. However, he was pleasantly surprised to hear Arthur saying that yeah, he could pay Alfred a quick visit on that day. Wasn’t he busy with Christmas preparations in his house, then? How curious. Would he spend Christmas at someone else's place, perhaps? Would he go to a party?

"I'm going to spend Christmas at home." Arthur replied, hiding his face with the teacup Alfred had offered him. There was very little time left until Christmas, and of course, Alfred's house was in a Christmas mood. The Christmas tree in the living room was big and decorated with lots of angels and Santas and lights, the "ugly" sweaters the children were wearing and the red and green cushions… it was all very homey and nice. "I'm not in the mood this year, so... I decided not to disturb anyone's party."

Deep down, Alfred thought that this might be the case... That’s why he was hesitant to ask Arthur about that before.

“What are you going to do, then? Are you going to watch some Christmas movie? Invite your friends to your place?”

Arthur shrugged,

"I'm going to set up something like a nest in my bed and... well, sleep." he replied.

To Alfred, that seemed a little sad. The first Christmas after his husband's death had been very difficult for him. If he had not received his family’s support, he would probably be completely devastated. Would Arthur really be alright alone?

"Don’t you wanna come here? The kids and I will be having a small celebration on Christmas Eve. We would be happy to have you as a guest.”

Arthur hid his face with the cup again. Alfred was so kind. His eyes got a little wet, but he disguised it as best as he could.

"Thank you but no. I'd rather be alone." He faked a smile, "I'll be fine."

If he was saying so, Alfred wouldn’t insist on it. He knew insisting would be uncomfortable for both of them. Despite his concerns, he simply told Arthur that if he changed his mind, he could join them anytime, no worries, no problems.

Arthur thanked him again and said that it would not be necessary. He'd be fine.

* * *

On Christmas Eve, however, he was not fine.

He was feeling awful.

He'd cried for most of the day, put on Gilbert's clothes, and looked at all the photos they'd taken together. This was Gilbert's favorite holiday. And that was the first Christmas without Gilbert, and Arthur couldn't deal with the hole he'd left in his life. His mark was all red and a little swollen and sore because of how much Arthur was touching and squeezing it, and he had no one to...

He had no one.

As the sun began to set, realizing that staying alone any longer in that apartment would only make him feel worse, Arthur picked up his phone. He thought about calling Francis, and then Ludwig, but in the end...

He ended up texting Alfred. Because his voice was still cracking with tears, and he didn't want Alfred to know that.

Arthur: Hey, Alfred. Everything ok? I'm kind of bored, so I was thinking... if the invitation is still up?  
Arthur: I'll understand if you have any other plans, I mean, I'm sending this super late...  
Arthur: Anyway, Merry Christmas!  
Alfred's reply came about fifteen minutes later.  
Alfred: Sorry for the delay!!! I was finishing some jiaozi!!!!  
Alfred: Of course you can come! Do you want a ride? I can get you with the kids!  
Arthur: Yay! No, it's okay. I can get an uber from here. You can help me pay and I can make a cheesecake for you! :P

This time, Alfred's message arrived in ten seconds.

  
Alfred: No problem! =D Come soon! The jiaozi will still be hot if you don’t take too long!  
Arthur: Ok!  
Arthur: … what is jiaozi? Isn’t that… Chinese food?  
Alfred: Yeah? I dunno. I learned it from my friend! He said it was a popular food in Japan!  
Alfred: Anyway, I bet you'll like them!  
Arthur: Alright. I get there in half an hour.

 

Arthur sent the last message and sighed, feeling a little bit better and a bit less melancholic. He was also feeling a bit curious to why Alfred was making Chinese food for Christmas.

He washed his face in the bathroom and put on warm and presentable clothes. Then, finally, he left his apartment.

* * *

 

As soon as he hung up the phone, Alfred got on high alert. Oh, fudge. Arthur was coming. He wasn’t expecting Arthur to actually come! The house wasn’t tidy enough! The kitchen was a bit greasy because of the jiaozi! There were dirty dishes in the sink! The kids were playing with a bunch of stuff in the living room!

Alfred quickly urged his children to store their toys and ran to the kitchen to wash the dishes as fast as he could. Emily offered to sweep the living room and Alfred had to accept her help because he REALLY had to rush. He practically flew through the kitchen, trying to wipe the stove and put the dishes away at the same time. That impromptu cleaning was a race against the clock and, honestly, it felt like an action scene.

Then, the bell ringing made everything stop and he had to relax again. He did what he could. Now, he could only hope Arthur wouldn’t find the house too messy.

"Hello," Arthur said as Alfred opened the door.

He was well-wrapped with a scarf around his neck that covered part of his face. He had been only a few minutes outside, but it was snowing and cold and his cheeks and nose were red. He held up a plastic bag. "I... I didn't want to come empty-handed, but I didn't have time to buy anything, so... I just bought a chocolate box for the kids. For Christmas. You have gift wrap, right?”

Alfred was surprised to see Arthur bringing a gift, considering how rushed was his decision to visit. Alfred bought some gifts for Arthur but they were not wrapped yet because Alfred thought he would give them to Arthur only after Christmas.

"Uhh, I have, but we're gonna have to wrap our presents together” he rubbed his neck with an awkward grin. "My gifts aren’t wrapped either.”

"It's all right." Arthur replied, then looked at the floor, "I... I'm sorry that I've changed my mind out of nowhere... about coming, I mean. I hope it's not a problem."

That was far from a problem for Alfred. It had been a pleasant surprise to know that Arthur was willing to spend his Christmas with him and the kids. Their Christmas usually was very simple and quiet. They rarely had guests.

"It's good to have you here, Arthur.” Alfred admitted, putting a hand on his friend's shoulder and giving him a warm, sincere smile. "Uh, our Christmas schedule is basically eat dinner, watch Christmas cartoons and then sleep early. Does that bothers you?”

Arthur shook his head and ended up smiling too.

"No. Actually, that sounds great. I don't think I would have energy for much more than that."

As they talked, Emily and Bill continued to play with their early Christmas gifts in the middle of the room, and Alfred had to go where they were to get their attention.

“Hey, you two! Arthur is going to spend Christmas with us! How about we wrap that gift you chose for him? He brought a gift for you two as well!”

"Hello kids. Arthur waved, his face red. He was embarrassed to have brought only a box of chocolates while, apparently, Alfred had bought something for him... "Merry Christmas."

“Hello, Arthur!” Emily stood up and walked over to him, holding out her hand to greet him. "Merry Christmas!”

Billy, for his part, was still a little afraid of Arthur and just waved shyly from his corner, averting his gaze.

Arthur greeted Emliy with a firm handshake, unable to contain a smile. Those children were so adorable. They awakened an instinct of protection he didn't even know he had.

"Hello," he repeated, "I hope I'm not disturbing your game."

"Will you join us?" Emily asked, seeming to completely ignore what Arthur said.  "I’m a dinosaur. Billy is a wizard. Do you want to be a fairy or something?” she pointed to a pile of toys that included a plastic tyrannosaurus rex, a magician doll in classic sorcerer's clothes, a doll with fairy clothes and wings easy to take off, and a bunch of small animals lined up in front of a lego castle.

Alfred leaned close to Arthur's ear and whispered,  
"Some of our relatives came to visit us today and they couldn’t resist giving their gifts today. Can you believe those guys??”

"I would too if I were them. Your kids are too adorable." Arthur said to Alfred, then turned back to Emily, "I can join you, but first I need to help your dad sort things out for dinner."

“Okay, but what about our gifts?” Emily asked. She could very attentive to certain details.

"You'll get Arthur's gift after we wrap HIS presents!" Alfred answered, gesturing for the children to follow him, which they did immediately because they were very interested in the promised reward.

The gift wrap, Arthur discovered, was in Alfred's bedroom.

Arthur didn't know how to feel about entering an alpha's bedroom, but he decided to follow Alfred and the children down the hall anyway. As they entered the room, however, Arthur stopped at the door and hesitated.

Alfred's scent was strong there. Arthur sniffed and scratched his nose hesitantly but decided to come in. He'd feel weird just standing at the door. Provided he kept his distance from Alfred's bed and clothes, his scent would not affect him too much.

So he went into Alfred's room and looked around. It looked like a clean room, but it was... a mess.

The bed was more or less tidy, though there were children's toys on the floor, a mess of papers and piles of books on the desk, figures in boxes on shelves, framed certificates and pictures on the wall...

And there were also some movies and games posters. Arthur ended up smiling to see a little more of Alfred as the children picked up the gift wrappings in the closet.

Alfred was an hygienic guy. He had to be for his profession. He was just a bit of a hoarder.

Now, accumulating trinkets had its advantages. Thanks to that, he had a bunch of gift wrap, ribbons, and other gift-decorating items that he could barely remember where had  come from. Probably from several gifts given to his children over the years, and he had not had the guts to simply throw them away.

“Okay! Let's sit on the floor and wrap our presents now! Ah, except for you, Arthur! You can sit on the bed!” Alfred offered. “Please, don’t look at the gifts I'm going to take out of the closet now! It’s a surprise!”

Arthur hesitated. He was not exactly embarrassed, just... feeling kind of weird. To sit on an alpha's bed was...

So he decided to sit on the floor next to the children. There was a thick rug on the floor and the house had a heater, so he saw no problem in that. He knew he wouldn’t get cold.

"Gifts? In plural? A-alfred, you didn't... didn't need..." he said, now rather embarrassed because all he had brought was a box of chocolates he had got at the deli on the corner next to his home.

"Well, to be honest, I was just going to buy one gift for you. A good one but a single one.” Alfred admitted. As he scooped up his closet looking for the gifts, he explained himself better. “Anyway, that didn’t work because my children saw my present when I brought it home and they got really curious about it. They asked for whom it was and then complained because they wanted to give a gift to you too. So we went to a local store, bought an additional gift they choose themselves and I kept mine because sometimes even I want to receive credit alone, ya know.”

Arthur smiled awkwardly.

"I, uh... I didn't have time to buy anything better... I'm sorry, kids. I can buy you a better present after Christmas." He offered with a crooked smile.

Alfred had apparently found the presents in the closet, and, doing as he had asked, Arthur avoided looking in that direction.

Alfred brought the presents inside old bags that he found in his closet. One of the gifts was already in its own box, but hey. The more layers of mystery the better!  
Sitting beside his children, Alfred handed them the bag containing a small box. He was trying so hard to be discreet about every move he made that he almost looked like a drug dealer delivering his products. It was kind of funny to see, actually.

"Okay, I'm going to turn my back to you so I won't see what you're wrapping up." Arthur said as he did just that, carrying a wrapping paper and a ribbon to wrap his box.

He heard Emily refuse Alfred's help to wrap the present and smiled a little at himself. He also was not very good with wrappings, but he hoped the kids wouldn't mind too much.

Alfred's gift was much larger than his children's and had been brought home in a bag, so it was kind of unnecessary to put it in a box, but he wanted to do it anyway to give his present a proper Christmas look. Fortunately, he still had the box in which his laptop came in. He had always kept it because, well, he could need it someday. Look who was right! He folded the bag carefully to fit in the box and started decorating it.

He took out a gift wrap with a space stamp and started to cut it in even squares, sticking it to the surface of the box. It was a time-consuming process and he took his time with it. Soon, his children began to rush him, saying, "Daddy, everybody's done wrapping presents, except you!" but Alfred remained focused. He couldn’t let his gift box look like an old laptop box!

Arthur turned back to the group and placed his box wrapped in a flowery gift wrap with a yellow ribbon. It wasn't very pretty, but it's the thought that counts, right?

He then watched Alfred finish wrapping his box. Alfred had a serious, concentrated expression on his face, and Arthur stared at it for a moment.

Finally, when Alfred finished and looked in his direction, Arthur offered him a small smile.

"All ready?" He asked.

Alfred nodded and the children saw this as a cue to hold together their present, each on one side, and finally deliver it to Arthur, putting it on his lap.

"Merry Christmas," Billy said shyly.

“And thank you so much for making delicious desserts for us when you come here!” Emily added.

"Oh... thank you..." Arthur said, his cheeks rosy and a genuinely contented smile on his lips. He picked up his package and handed it to the children, "Merry Christmas. Like I said... I'll buy you something better later."

It was the first time Alfred had seen such a sincere, warm smile on Arthur's face. Usually Arthur smiled weakly and politely. He looked a lot better by simply smiling naturally.

“Oh, chocolates!” Emily exclaimed, after opening the package with Billy’s help. “Daddy, Daddy! Can I have one now? Please, please???”

“Please??” Billy asked too, already taking one of the chocolates from the box.

Alfred sighed with a smile escaping his lips. How could he resist that collective request when his children were so happy and Arthur seemed so pleased with the effect of his gift?

"All right, but only one for each of you! You haven’t ate dinner yet!” Alfred raised his finger at them in his best stern father pose.

"If you leave the chocolate for later, I'll make that dessert you love." Arthur offered, his hands resting on his gift, but not sure whether to open it now or not.

Emily and Billy were wide-eyed, amazed at the possibility of two desserts, as if this was something out of a completely alternative reality.

Billy, not quite understanding Arthur’s proposal, put the chocolate he was holding in his mouth and then held out his hands to Arthur saying "where's the dessert?" It made Emily roll her eyes and huff impatiently, muttering that Billy had ruined everything.

"Arthur, open your gift. We can continue negotiating this deal later.” Alfred walked over to his guest, patting his shoulder and showing him a smile that pretty much said " _kids, you know how they are_ ".

"Right." Arthur agreed, looking at the gift on his lap.

Carefully, he opened the package that revealed a small box of the store where it had been purchased. Arthur did not know that store, but the box was beautiful, decorated with drawings of vines and flowers.

When he opened the box, he found a large rose which, he soon realized, had a very, very pleasant and sweet smell, and that was not a real flower, but one of those decorative soaps.

Aww...

That was so lovely...

"Oh, thank you!" He said to the children and then to Alfred with a smile.

“Thank them for it! This is their present for you!” Alfred said, ducking credit for that gift. They had chosen it on their own, he just gave them the money. Now his gift was a different story. "Here's my gift, by the way. See if you like it!” Alfred excitedly held out the box he had been decorating for the last few minutes, eager to see Arthur’s reaction to what was inside of it.

Arthur nodded and took Alfred's box. It was much bigger than the children's, which made Arthur a little anxious. Swallowing, he undid the package and opened the box. From inside, he pulled out a brown wool coat. It was big, soft, apparently warm and very pretty.

And certainly very expensive.

"A-Alfred, that's... I mean, thanks! It's beautiful! But! But you must have spent so much on it! I...!"

“I thought it really fit you. I couldn’t resist buying it.” Alfred shrugged with a huge smile on his face. “What did you think? Does it match your style?”

Arthur didn't have a style. He nodded nonetheless.

"It’s beautiful. Really. Thank you. I don't even know... I don't even know what to say..."

Alfred was very pleased with his gift choice. He knew that Arthur wouldn’t fit into most of his clothes when he reached a certain point of his pregnancy and so he gave him a coat big enough to fit him at all times. Arthur REALLY needed a coat suitable for an omega, anyway. He always looked cold in his coats for betas.

"Try it!" Emily suggested, so Arthur decided to do it.

He got up off the floor and put the coat on Alfred's bed as he pulled off his scarf and the coat he was still wearing. It was a big, worn-out jacket he'd bought at a thrift store. It was warm, but not enough and he always had to put on an extra sweater.

Then Arthur slipped on the coat Alfred had given him, and, heavens. He felt the difference at the same moment.

The coat's wool was very warm, and would keep the warmth of Arthur's body there, instead of dissipating it. He smiled at himself and folded his arms over his coat, closing it. So warm...

The smile on Arthur's face was like sweet caramel. It was so pure and wonderful. Alfred has never been so happy to give someone a gift. He spent a good time just admiring how well Arthur looked in that coat, especially with that look of delight on his face.

"I don't even know how to thank you..." Arthur said, turning to Alfred, "It's great. Thank you. Really." he said again, because honestly, how should he thank? He couldn't buy anything like that for Alfred...

"Do you want to have dinner now?" Alfred asked, looking into Arthur's eyes and lightly grasping his sleeve. “We have jiaozi!”

Seeing that Arthur continued to stare at him as if waiting for Alfred to add more options on the menu, Alfred realized with embarrassment that he wasn’t exactly offering a Christmas banquet for dinner.

“Uh... This is all we have, I guess? I'm not good at preparing Christmas meals. Sorry.” he owned up to it, scratching the back of his head uncomfortably.

“It’s okay,” Arthur smiled, “I just… don’t know what it is? I mean, I’ve never had it before.” he confessed, his face flustered.

“It's a fried dough filled with ground meat.” Alfred explained as they walked into the kitchen. “My friend Kiku taught me this recipe and it became kind of my recipe for special occasions.”

“Oh,” Arthur said, “Sounds good.”

In the kitchen, he helped Alfred put the dishes on the table and waited for Alfred to serve the children before he served himself too. Besides jiaozi, Alfred had prepared some simple tidbits. The plates were all red and green, which made the table very colorful.

Arthur liked to try new recipes, so he liked what Alfred had prepared. As Alfred seemed suspicious of his first compliment, he repeated it a few times.

Dinner went smoothly. The children talked about the toys they had got and about being excited for Santa's visit, and Arthur asked questions about what they were hoping to get from him, and whether they used to leave any snacks. Smiling, Emily explained that every year they left milk and cookies for Santa and that he always ate everything.

Arthur smiled at Alfred, who shrugged with an amused smile.

After dinner, Alfred put in a Christmas playlist on his phone and went to do the dishes. He told Arthur that he could watch something on the television meanwhile, but Arthur insisted to help him drying the dishes. The two stood side by side, close to each other, their shoulders almost touching as they did the chores together. That put  a warm, good feeling in Alfred’s chest. There was a domestic atmosphere in that moment which he had really missed sharing with someone.

“Hey.” he smiled briefly at Arthur. "I hope you don’t mind me saying this but you looked very cute in that coat.”

"Oh. Thank you." Arthur smiled back. He didn't keep eye contact though because Alfred was too close and that didn't seem right, "The coat is really beautiful." He looked down to the floor, "And also thank you for letting me spend Christmas with you and your kids."

"Thank _you_ for coming." Alfred answered, turning off the tap so he would not let the noise of the water disturb what he had to say to Arthur. He set the dish he had just washed on the sink and turned to Arthur, looking deep into his eyes. “Honestly, I have other friends and I have a family that supports me a lot, but I never had a friend who could visit me so often and who legitimately enjoyed spending his time with my children…  What I’m trying to say is…  thanks. For trusting me and for always arranging time to make these visits to my house.” saying all those sentimental things was starting to get a bit embarrassing. Alfred had to look away or he would start to stutter.  “I appreciate that.”

"Oh, I like spending time with you and the kids." Arthur murmured because he was embarrassed by that sudden speech. Still, he was... content. It was good to have someone like Alfred around, someone who had been through the same thing that Arthur was going through at the moment. It was good to be able to look at Alfred and know that there was hope that he would get himself out of the hole where he was and... be happy again. Eventually.

Alfred and Arthur were silent for a while, just staring at the floor and distracting their hands, putting them in their pockets or dishes over the sink. Both had many feelings accumulated in their chest about a Christmas without their mates. They both had many feelings about the new friendship they were building. However, despite having many thoughts they would like to share and experiences they already shared, they still didn’t had much they felt comfortable to say to each other and this was very evident at that uncomfortable moment.

Fortunately, their embarrassing silence was broken by Emily calling them from the living room couch to watch a movie on TV.

"Hey, you two finished the dishes, right??? Come here! Look at this movie! It’s so funny!"

So Arthur followed Alfred to the couch. He sat on one end of the couch, with Emily and Bill between him and Alfred. Arthur settled down on the couch and watched the movie while Emily and Bill commented on it.

The Christmas lights were blinking, the house was warm, the couch was comfortable, and out the window Arthur could see the snow falling. Alfred's children were laughing and having fun and Alfred was being friendly and kind. Arthur didn't know what that made him feel. His chest was warm, but at the same time it ached.

He missed Gilbert.

 

* * *

 

It was the kids who called them to watch the movie but they quickly got bored of it and went back to play with their toys. Perhaps that was all part of a great plan, considering that Alfred got so distracted by the movie that he only noticed how late it was when the credits started to roll. Oh, no! The children should have been in bed a long time ago!

“Okay, kids. Santa's not coming if you keep playing around in the living room. It's time to sleep.” Alfred informed his kids, turning to them, leaning his elbow on couch’s armrest and using his hand to support one of the sides of his face.  

The children tried to ask in a pleading voice for another five minutes to play but they didn’t manage to convince Alfred. Billy was almost fainting over his own toys. It was definitely bed time for them.

“Let's go. If you don’t go to sleep, Santa won’t be able to deliver your gifts.” Alfred repeated himself. This time, Emily gave up and offered her brother help to get up.

Arthur stayed in the same spot while Alfred made sure the children would brush their teeth and put their pajamas on. He heard Alfred say, "Yeah, I'm going to put the milk and cookies for Santa, don't worry, Billy," and that made him smile.

While Alfred didn't come back, Arthur hugged himself and stared at the snow falling outside. He remembered the Christmas he and Gilbert spent together with Gilbert's family, and how at some point they always ended up cuddling on the couch, with Arthur leaning his head on Gilbert’s shoulder and watching the fire in the fireplace.

His eyes were dry but when Arthur sighed, it was as if the air carried with it pain and longing.

Alfred noticed that Arthur wasn’t even paying attention to the TV when he came back, so his original plan to ask him to go back to watching it was immediately scratched. Arthur seemed to be in a very pensive mood. He probably wouldn’t care for movies at the moment.

Alfred, then, just sat down beside him, grabbed the remote, turned off the TV and playfully poked his forehead.

“You were so deep in thoughts, dude. I thought you were about to levitate something when I arrived.”

Arthur blinked, caught by surprise, and shook his head.

"I wish I could levitate things." He remarked, looking back at the snow outside, "... I was just... remembering something." He sighed, "Alfred? How was your Christmas when... before?"

"Before what?" Alfred tilted his head to the side in confusion.

“Before your mate died.” Arthur murmured.

Alfred felt the lines on his face tighten up instantly. Wow. That came like a punch in the stomach. What a question to ask on a merry festive day.

He almost got upset with Arthur for being so impolite with his feelings about that topic but... Urgh. They met at a widow’s reunion. That should be expected. Arthur probably wanted to talk about it to deal with his own pain. Alfred couldn’t get angry with him over that.

He took a deep breath, letting his expression soften and his heart settle down before answering Arthur.

“Well, we... What we did was… That depends on when you’re talking about. When we dated, we didn’t celebrate Christmas together. He celebrated it with his family, while I did it with mine. We usually met right after Christmas to exchange our gifts, though. After we got married, we started celebrating here at home. We liked quiet celebrations and our families definitely didn’t want that. Antonio's family had too many people and mine had too much drinks.” Alfred replied with a nostalgic smile.

Arthur nodded.

“You come from a small family, then?” he  asked, and then looked down, “Actually, uh… sorry. For making these questions, I just… I don’t know. Sorry. I… I can’t stop thinking about my… about Gilbert, and I…”

“It's all right.” Alfred said, cutting Arthur's apologies before they went any longer. "We can talk about it if it's something you want to do. I've had enough time to deal with my grief. I can talk about it.”

Arthur stared at his hands on his lap.

“Today… Dinner was great, your kids are great and so are you, and yet… I, It’s my first Christmas without…” he sighed, “I just… I feel kinda… lonely.”

“I understand.” Alfred sighed and his shoulders shrunk. He knew very well the kind of feeling Arthur was experiencing. The first holiday without a loved one was ridiculously painful. You couldn’t stop thinking about how different that day would be if that person was there or how much more you could have treasured better the time you have spent together if you knew what was going to happen.

It was awful.

“I just… I want this to be over soon.” he said in a quiet voice, “His family invited me over for Christmas, you know. But I just… I couldn’t do it. Just to think about… about being in a place where he should be and won’t be… I just… seems so wrong…”

"Sometimes you'd better celebrate in a totally different way than you would celebrate with him." Alfred agreed, nodding. "It prevents you from drawing parallels between what you are doing and what you might be doing if he were with you.” now, before they continued talking about that depressing subject, Alfred had to do something first because that conversation was getting darker and darker. “Can I put my Christmas playlist on? I don’t want children to hear this conversation by accident if they wake up.”

Arthur nodded.

He knew that was an awful subject and he felt Alfred would rather be talking about something else. And yet... and yet... Arthur could not think of any other topic. He was feeling terrible and he just... wanted to vent a bit.

...maybe he should go back home.

A soft jazz song about enjoying a Christmas night began to play and Alfred came back, sitting down right beside Arthur on the couch, instead of sitting on the other end of it as he had done before. Thanks to that music and that new physical closeness between them, Alfred felt more comfortable and less depressed about the subject they were talking about.

"What kind of person was your mate? You never said much about him. Was he loud? Quiet? Fancy? Cool?” Alfred asked, legitimately curious. To not let it get too serious and sad, he also added with a teasing smile. "Was he good in bed?"

Arthur blushed, but then chuckled a bit.

"You don't... you should not ask this kind of thing to omegas..." he replied, "I mean... Gil loved to tease and talked about these things openly, but... it's kind of strange for some people," he shrugged and sighed, "He was... loud. He made sure everyone knew he was there. He was fun. He could be kinda brutish sometimes, you know, he didn't know how to express himself well in some moments, but... he was kind, friendly. He liked to drink with his friends, but he preferred to do it at home, to organize barbecues, and watch some game on TV... And..." He paused to chuckle a bit more, "And yes, he was good in bed."

Alfred laughed too. It was fun to imagine Arthur with such an extrovert. They must have been an interesting couple.

“Sorry, sorry. You know, when I lost my mate, I realized that I automatically started talking in a weird way about him when others asked about it, you know, what kind of person he was and such. I came to talk about him almost as if he were a divine entity. I only talked about how dedicated he was, how much his smile reminded me of the sun, how he was a person who could make friends with anyone in seconds…” Alfred commented with a painful smile, feeling his chest tighten remembering that. “That was all true, but it was kind of sad to remember Antonio as if he were just this set of qualities instead of a real and complex human being. Remembering him that way made him... I don’t know, less real to me? Like I was barely remembering my real mate? And I couldn’t accept it. I just couldn’t. Nowadays, when I talk about him, I’m always adding details like ‘he used to put tomatoes in every possible type of food, it was ridiculous’ and ‘he was really sexy, to be honest’. It’s a small thing but it makes me feel closer to the real memory of who he was.” he explained, this time with a soft expression that conveyed a sweet and warm emotion.

Arthur nodded, smiling.

"Do you have any funny stories with him? Once, Gilbert spent the weekend out with some friends... and when he came back, he wanted to be romantic and picked me up as soon as he got home... but I was having tea and I ended up dropping my mug on him... then we both fell. Luckily the tea wasn't so hot. He started laughing and as I was not, he tickled me." Arthur shared with a nostalgic smile, looking at a distant spot behind Alfred.

After that, they had had sex there on the floor, Gilbert with his back on it because the floor was cold and he didn't mind. Arthur decided not to mention that part, though.

“Funny stories, huh? Well, once, Emily made a birthday card for Antonio and tried to write a message for him in Spanish on it. She wrote ‘Felicitaciones por sus treinta años’ and gave it to us in the middle of our lunch at his family home. However, she forgot to accent the n and when Antonio read it, he began to laugh so much, so much that he fell to the ground and sat there laughing for a long time.”

Arthur smiled, but he had no idea what the funny part was.

"I... I don't get it..." He confessed, "I didn't know you speak Spanish. Or Emily! She is so young and already knows a second language? That's amazing!" he said because he himself, at twenty-five, had never managed to get out of the basic school level of French. Gilbert had been trying to teach him German as well, but Arthur was not good at it. The pronunciation was complicated and Gilbert was not a very good teacher either.

“Antonio's family came from Spain and many of them only knew how to speak Spanish. I had to learn if I wanted to be a part of them.” Alfred told him casually. "Because I didn’t want them cursing me in Spanish right in front of me without I even noticing."

"Oh..." Arthur murmured, a little embarrassed. "Gil's family came from Germany... they were always speaking German during family gatherings. I... tried to learn it, but, well, Gil was not a good teacher... but his family was always kind to me. I doubt they spoke ill of me. While I was present, at least."

"Antonio's family was too big and I wasn’t close to everyone.” Alfred said honestly. "Seriously, his family parties had about forty people. There were so many people. It looked like a VIP room in a show.”

"Oh, that's so many people! I thought the fifteen people in Gilbert's family were already a crowd!" Arthur commented.

“Yeah, I know, right? At what point in your relationship did he introduce you to his family?”

"Hm... early. We were dating for... two months, I think." Arthur said after a moment's thought, "Gil has always been very familiar. He introduced me to his family before we even... you know, spent a heat together. How about you? How did you get to know Antonio's family?"

"He was slow to introduce me to his family. He said they always were picky about his boyfriends and he wanted to avoid introducing us.” Alfred briefly laughed at that memory. "He put it off for so long that he only introduced me to them after I asked him to marry me. I asked for his hand in marriage and he was like, ‘If it was up to me, I would accept it, but I need to introduce you to my family first, Al’. So we went to his parents house, I was properly introduced to them, his family thankfully liked me and we were able to move on with the engagement. On the other hand, I introduced Antonio to my parents in our... fourth date? Yep, fourth date. That was so unfair. He needed years to introduce me to his parents but in the fourth date, I already knew he was someone I wanted to stay with.” Alfred's eyes sting a bit and became a little blurred as he said it. He had to rub them. “I really did.”

Arthur smiled and, as Alfred was close, he timidly laid his hand over his, trying to comfort him. He didn't know what to say.

"Once," he decided then to share some other funny story, "visiting Gilbert's family at Christmas, he persuaded me to have sex with him... but we ended up breaking the bed. He told his family that he had broken the bed by jumping on it... and they believed him. He was that kind of person." Arthur chuckled at that lukewarm memory. And as he chuckled, tears streamed from his eyes without him allowing them to.

"Your mate was funny, Arthur.” Alfred answered, taking a deep breath and trying to stay strong and calm for Arthur. He put his hands on his own lap and lowered his head, looking distractedly at his pants’ knit pattern. “You have some really cool stories to tell your child in the future. By the way... breaking the bed? You guys were wild. Holy moly.” Alfred joked. He didn’t want to make that whole thing more dramatic than it already was.

Arthur nodded.

"He was... when he was in the hospital... he was flirting with all the nurses. All of them. He said that, if he did so, they would all like him... and work hard for him to get out of there soon..." Arthur said, trying to laugh but sobbing instead.

He missed Gilbert so much...

He felt so alone.

He didn't know what to do.

He covered his face with both hands and shrinked on the couch.

Alfred felt disoriented about how to deal with Arthur sobbing right beside him. He didn’t like to see Arthur like that, but he knew it was inevitable for him to feel like that in his first holiday without his mate. It was better for Arthur to cry and put it all out than to keep bad feelings inside until they began to consume his heart.

Alfred wanted to comfort him. He really wanted to make Arthur feel at ease, to show his support for him. He even tried to go for a hug, putting his arms around Arthur without touching him, but he lost his courage the middle of the way and slowly recoiled, afraid Arthur would lift his head and see what he was trying to do.

As he regained his arms, Alfred braced himself, bit his lower lip and looked in different directions for a while, wondering what to do.

Finally, he had an idea.

Alfred stood up, leaving Arthur alone in his living room.

Arthur knew he was making Alfred uncomfortable and he honestly would like to stop crying. But it was not that easy. He tried to stop his tears several times, but they just kept coming and he didn't know what else he could do.

That's why he shrank as much as he could, trying to make himself smaller and calm himself, trying not to think about Gilbert, or anything in particular.

He didn't even see when Alfred left but he felt when Alfred came back. He was still crying, but he lifted his face as Alfred sat down beside him on the couch. He was holding a mug and he offered it to Arthur. Mechanically, he accepted it.

It was warm and Arthur wondered how long Alfred had left his side. He was embarrassed to be crying like that in Alfred's house, so he lowered his face and took a sip of the contents of the mug. Oh. It was milk with honey... Arthur ended up smiling a little. Alfred was so kind.

When you are down, you may need some time alone to cry before you receive help from people who care about you. Knowing that, Alfred left and let Arthur be at ease to cry as much as he wanted. Meanwhile, he made a pleasantly warm milk with honey to make him feel better, since Arthur would lose a lot of energy crying like that.

Sadly, Alfred didn’t know what to say to him now that he was back, so he just started humming softly to the Christmas song that was playing in his phone.

Arthur drank the milk as he listened to the music playing in the background and Alfred humming to it. Gradually, his tears were drying until finally there were no fresh tears in his eyes.

His chest was still heavy, but much lighter than before. He stared at his almost empty mug, too embarrassed to look at Alfred.

He set the mug on the coffee table and rubbed his eyes, feeling tired after having cried so much. His eyes were heavy, his body was heavy. He felt exhausted and not just physically. He leaned against the back of the couch and sighed, closing his eyes for a moment.

Then, guided by Alfred's sweet scent, he leaned in that direction, resting his head on his shoulder.

He knew he shouldn’t be doing something like that, but… he was so tired… so heavy…

With a Christmas tune in the background, Arthur closed his eyes for a moment.

"… thank you." He finally whispered, "For everything."

Alfred was about to say, "it was nothing, really," but when he turned to Arthur, he realized that his friend was now with his eyes closed and his breath slow and steady, giving no sign of his usual unintentionally-defensive posture. Had he fallen asleep? Alfred waved his hand in front of his face to test it. No reaction. Yep, Arthur was sleeping.  

What now? What should Alfred do?

He did not want to move and wake Arthur, but he felt a little strange with him asleep leaning against his shoulder. Arthur was just a friend but he was still an omega... A very cute omega, now that Alfred was looking closely.

He had a good face. His hair had a naturally messy look that looked good on him. Even those eyebrows... Heh. They were funny. Pretty cute too.

Suddenly, Alfred began to feel a great urge to touch Arthur's face a little. Without even realizing what he was doing, he removed the hair that was falling on his face and used that move as an excuse to caress his cheek for a bit. He noticed that Arthur's skin was very soft and that his cheeks were surprisingly plump.

Of course, a few seconds after these thoughts occurred to him, Alfred became aware that he was acting super-weird and took his hands off Arthur's face. He still messed around Arthur’s hair for a bit but he quickly stopped that as well, crossed his arms over his chest and took a deep breath, reminding himself that he was acting unnecessarily weird. The person next to him was Arthur. Someone he wanted to help with no ulterior motives for it.

Still… He couldn’t help but react. After all, Arthur usually didn’t look so relaxed beside him and much less got physical in his expression of gratitude or friendship for Alfred. Now, thinking about it, Alfred was a little grateful that this was not customary for Arthur because... Urgh. Up close, with his head on his shoulder, with a calm expression on his face, Arthur seemed absurdly precious. To smell him, to feel his weight against his shoulder made Alfred feel inexplicably agitated. He didn’t like that at all.

Alfred risked another glance at Arthur. There he was with a milk mustache and deep dark circles under his eyes... He looked no less real than usual. He was definitely the good old Arthur. A clumsy little friend who needed help.

And yet, damn it, Alfred's heart was still racing while he looked so closely at Arthur’s face.

What the hell.


	4. Make Way for Ducklings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Here’s another chapter. This one was super fun to write, so we hope you guys will enjoy it, hehe~ 
> 
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> Plz tell us what you thought of this chapter! :3c

 

January 6, 2018

 

Arthur spent the New Year's Eve alone.

After waking up on Alfred's bed in the Christmas morning, warm and comfortable with at least four blankets over him, and after going to Alfred's living room to find him sleeping there on the couch, his glasses on the floor and the TV on, Arthur was too embarrassed to accept his invitation to spend the New Year's Eve with them.

That is, to sleep in an alpha's bed...! Even if Alfred was his friend...! He should have left _Arthur_ sleeping on the couch!!

Despite having spent the New Year's Eve on his own, Arthur almost didn’t cry at all: he exchanged a few messages with Alfred, allowed himself the luxury of ordering food and went to bed early.

With January starting, Arthur knew he needed to start his prenatal care tests. The problem was that these tests were performed in a hospital, and after Gilbert's passing... Arthur hated to get close to one. The smell made him sick and anxious, his heart pounded and his breathing quickened. It was as if everything that existed in that white-walled building was death and pain and that it would devour him if he got in there and...

...he could not do it alone.

Arthur thought about asking Francis to accompany him. But…

"What am I up to? Oh, the usual... the wedding preparations are destroying me. Jean laughs at me because apparently I'm exaggerating, but I'm not! I have to keep an eye on everything, I can't let anything go wrong, it must be perfect! The wedding is almost here and there's so much to do... I just want all this stress to be over soon!" Francis said excitedly when Arthur called him.

His life was so busy, in a happy way. Arthur refused to ask any favor from him, not after all the other favors he had asked for in the past.

Unfortunately, Francis was his closest friend and if Francis was out of the equation, the next person he could think of was...

... Alfred.

Arthur was not sure about that.

It seemed… wrong, weird to ask something of the sort to Alfred, but… he would understand, wouldn’t he?

So Arthur decided to call him on that cold Saturday afternoon, wrapped up in a lot of warm blankets.

 

* * *

 

Alfred had spent the New Year’s Eve with his children and his relatives at his brother's house. Despite being generally the calmer and more patient of the two brothers, Matt liked to have super-hectic parties that lasted all night – a trait he had inherited from his parents. This wasn’t convenient at Christmas because if Alfred’s kids didn’t sleep early it would be difficult to convince them of Santa's existence but in the New Year’s Eve so much excitement surely would guarantee that everyone would stay awake until midnight, which was pretty good.

The party was fun as always. It also had, as any family party, its little inconveniences. Some extra guests arrived without previous notice, so they had to sleep in the same room as Alfred. The room was not that big, and someone ended up breaking one of Emily’s toys. Not to mention, it was a pain to listen to his drunken relatives after midnight, complaining every time that Alfred should get a boyfriend and saying that he had become too demanding after Antonio. They meant well, of course, but these advices didn’t help Alfred AT ALL. If he didn’t want to date anyone, what was the point of forcing it? He had even considered start looking for romance again earlier that year, but he was no longer in the mood for it. Going after someone just because of the peer pressure of his family would only hurt both parties in the end.

Family parties. It had its ups and downs.

Now a new year had begun, and Alfred's expectations for it were very simple. All he wanted was to make this year a good one, to make sure it would be good for his kids, to continue to do well at work and to support Arthur as much as he could.

Romance was not one of his goals. Not at all.

Especially not with Arthur.

Despite this, he could acknowledge that the emotional moment they had at Christmas had been kind of... odd at the end. He also felt strange carrying Arthur to his bed in his arms and felt even stranger trying to sleep in it the next night and not being able to do so because Arthur’s scent was leaving his brain wide awake.

Alfred decided to interpret this as a natural biological reaction. He was an alpha, Arthur was an omega. They both were straight and single. Also, it had been a long time since he had come so close to an omega, and Arthur had really beautiful eyes and adorable cheeks… That didn’t mean anything.

He had no expectations, or so he thought.

And then, he picked up Arthur's call that Saturday afternoon.

"Oh, hello, Alfred..." Arthur said as soon as Alfred picked up, "... how are you?"

“Hey, Arthur! It's all right here! How are you? Are you keeping up with your New Year resolutions? Haha!”

“Yes, I’m fine, uh…” Arthur hesitated, “How are the kids?”

Alfred smiled. Arthur was the only person outside his family who was legitimately interested in his children lives and that pleased Alfred immensely.

“They’re fine! Just a bit upset because school is back. You should come here to see them later! I think they would love a surprise visit in the middle of the week!”

"If things are quiet at work, I can make it." Arthur agreed, "I like to spend time with them. And Emily said she'd let me help with her homework next time."

“I would be very… I mean! _Emily_ would be very happy to see you!” Alfred answered excitedly, moving his knees up and down without even realizing it.

“Alright.” Arthur said, and hesitated again, “I… actually, I called… I wanted to… It’s not much, really, but I wanted to tell you something. Ask. I’d like to ask you something…”

Oh? Arthur hardly ever asked him for anything. In fact, he even had trouble accepting what Alfred offered on his own. What did he need so badly to the point of calling to ask for it?

"Aww, Arthur. Of course you can ask me whatever you want! I can’t guarantee 1000% that I will do whatever you ask me but if it’s something I can do, consider it done!”

"Thank you... Alfred, you... to be completely honest... you're a very important friend to me. You've helped me a lot with learning more about being a good father, and... and you are... you're a great person." Arthur said. He was stuttering, nervous "... we have not known each other for a long time, but... but I'm so grateful to have met you."

... Why was Arthur talking like he was about to dump him?

“Er ... Thank you? Are you okay, though?” Alfred asked, letting a nervous laugh escape “You aren’t about to say that you’re going to move countries or something, are you?”

"Oh, no. It's not that..." Arthur said quickly, "I want to... ask you something, but, uh, I'm... precisely because we don't know each other for a long time, I'm kind of nervous to ask this... I... I know you must be busy with work, with the children, and you have no obligation at all with me, but... I ... you are my friend... and I trust you... and then... That's probably going to be strange for you, but... uh..."

Alfred's heart began to beat faster. Hearing Arthur embarrassed and talking about how much he meant to him was already enough to make Alfred agitated inside. Now, knowing that Arthur was saying all this to justify something he wanted to ask… That made him utterly nervous. What could it be? What did he want?

“Hm, er, thanks, Arthur! I... Uh... I'm glad you cherish me! As a friend! Of course you can always ask for my help! I-I value you too! As a friend!” Alfred's face felt super-hot now. He could bet he was blushing.

“Thanks, Alfred… what I’m about to ask you, it’s not… it’s not something to ask from a friend, but… I hope this doesn’t make things too weird between us…” Arthur mumbled.

It wasn’t something to ask of a friend???? God, what was he going to ask??? They were both single and they were getting pretty close lately, so maybe Arthur was feeling kind of needy??? And wanted something physical from him??? A kiss??? Casual sex????? Dozens of possibilities flew through Alfred's mind like bullets going around in a cowboy movie, but fortunately, before he began to think too deep about any of them, Arthur added,

“... that’s why… I’ll totally understand if you don’t want to, but… I’d like to know if you could… if you could go with me to the hospital for my ultrasound…”

Wait a second.

What.

“Ultrasound?” Alfred felt a little like he had just woken from a dream within a dream and still wasn’t entirely sure of what was real or not.

"Yes..." Arthur muttered, hugging his knees, "I need to do my prenatal tests... I haven't done any ultrasounds yet." He sighed, "And it's something I need to do. But I don't like hospitals, so... at least I didn't want to go alone... I was going to invite another friend, but... he's busy preparing his wedding, so..." Arthur swallowed, feeling his face warmer, "...but I'll understand if it's a problem for you! I can ask someone else!" Arthur lied.

Oh, that was more normal for them. Arthur needed help for things related to the baby. That was always it. Yet, Alfred's mind had gone to absurd places and he was feeling pretty dumb at the moment.

“Of course I can go with you, Arthur.” Alfred said confidently, trying to make Arthur not feel so nervous about a favor that wouldn’t be any bother for him. Alfred leaned his back against the wall, trying to relax. His body was still recovering from his previous tension. "When are you going to do these exams? A weekend would be better for me.”

"A weekend is better for me, too. I've scheduled it for next Saturday morning. At nine. Is that alright? I can reschedule if you have any other appointment..." Arthur replied. He was feeling lighter to know he would have company, and he smiled to himself, "Thank you, Alfred. Really. You're such a great friend."

“Hey, no problem, man. I just hope I can help.” Alfred smiled, munching on his guilty for thinking something so stupid before.

Okay. Clearly, he had to leave that Christmas moment behind. It was only making him behave like a  fool. He had to forget about that whole thing and let things go on like they used to. He had to ignore how cute Arthur was and try not feeling so nervous and embarrassed around him. This time they were on the phone but what if Arthur caught on his smell what Alfred was feeling? He would _think_ that Alfred had a crush on him or something.

* * *

 

The following Saturday, Arthur met Alfred at the hospital entrance. He was wearing the coat Alfred had given him for Christmas, a scarf and warm pants. It was not snowing that day, but it was still very cold. He had arrived a little earlier and decided to wait for Alfred outside, where the hospital smell would not make him sick or unnecessarily nervous.

"Alfred!" Arthur smiled when he saw his friend approaching from the parking lot, "Thanks again for coming. Really. Thank you."

Alfred had two children, so he was used to visiting hospitals. However, it had been some time since he had been there to accompany someone to make an ultrasound. That was a little nostalgic. He could remember how Antonio was worried and excited when they took that test for the first time, and how emotional he got both times he listened to their babies’ heartbeat for the first time.

"No problem! I told you to ask me for help with these things!” He smiled back, feeling his face practically light up with the realization that Arthur was wearing the coat he had given him for Christmas.

Arthur agreed and they entered the hospital while Arthur inquired about Alfred's children. The disinfectant smell invaded Arthur's nostrils and he grimaced, feeling his stomach wrapping up in itself with aching memories. So to get distracted from that, he kept asking Alfred questions about his kids until they arrived at the front desk of that floor.

There, Arthur handed over his papers and documents to the clerk and filled out a form while Alfred sat in the waiting chairs. With everything ready, and with the news that the doctor was a few minutes late with the exams, Arthur collected his documents and sat next to Alfred with a sigh, staring at the ceiling while wiggling his nose uncomfortably. He really hated that smell.

"I hate hospitals," he mumbled casually.

From what Alfred got from Arthur’s story on Christmas, Arthur's husband had spent some time in a hospital before dying. Possibly, it was his memories from that period of his life that made Arthur dislike that place.

Despite noticing this connection very quickly, Alfred decided to stay silent about it because he didn’t want to bring up sad subjects to their conversation.

"Emily also gets super-scared in hospitals, but if you ask, she'll never admit it.” Alfred smiled.  “She gets super embarrassed about it because Bill is not afraid of hospitals and she is.”

“Really?” Arthur chuckled a bit, “Bill is so brave. He’s not scared of spiders or clowns either, right? Is he scared of anything? Besides strangers.”

"Well, he's afraid of crowded places and being alone. He doesn’t even like to go alone in amusement park attractions.” Alfred remembered, scratching his chin. "I guess you could say that his fears are a little more easy to happen than Emily's.”

“I see… So Bill has more rational fears… And what else is Emily scared of?” Arthur asked.

"She's afraid of ghosts, stains that look like faces, aliens..." Alfred enumerated, counting on his fingers. "Oh! She's afraid of needles too."

“I’m not a fan of needles myself. I almost didn’t manage to get my tattoo.” Arthur nodded, “And how about _you_ , what are you afraid of?”

Alfred barely listened to Arthur’s question because he got caught in a detail of what Arthur had said.

“Wait. You have a tattoo???” Alfred asked in amazement, almost jumping from his chair as he leaned over to Arthur's side. “What kind of tattoo? Where? Why?”

Arthur laughed.

"Yes. I forged my mother's signature when I was sixteen. I was kind of a rebel. It's on my back... it's the silhouette of a raven, all black, with intervals in the form of dry branches..."

“Wow! How angry did they get when they finally noticed? They must have been PISSED.” Alfred asked, his eyes slightly wide. It was really curious to hear Arthur's teenage stories.

"Really pissed." Arthur replied with a nostalgic smile. "They only found out a year later, actually. My mother saw it during one of my heats... They didn't let me leave the house for a _month_. But! You still haven't told me what _your_ fears are!"

Fears, huh? Alfred was afraid of so many things. He was afraid of ghosts, conspiracy theories, urban legends, the deeps of the ocean... However, having so many fears were kind of embarrassing for an alpha.

“My only fear is fear itself.” Alfred replied, making an exaggerated snobbish demeanor that made it obvious he was joking.

“Oh, c’mon! You must fear _something_! I, for instance, am afraid of hospitals, needles and… also blood…” Arthur offered an awkward smile, “Now tell me some of yours.”

Hospitals, blood and needles. How in the world was Arthur going to have a baby with those fears? Alfred wondered if he should say something about it but, hm, no. It wouldn’t be good to do it in the middle of a place Arthur was already scared of. Talking about it would only add to his current concerns.

"Ah... Hm... I'm a little afraid of horror stuff.” Alfred admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “Like most people!” he tried to soften the blow in his pride.

"Oh, so you won't like my games too much." Arthur laughed a little. He stopped laughing and ended up grimacing. "Uh... weird." He muttered to himself, and noticing that Alfred had heard it, he hastened to explain, "Oh, it's nothing! I just... felt like eating something I don't even like." he tried to laugh it off.

“I like horror games. I'm afraid of them but I still like them a lot!” Alfred countered, before processing what Arthur had just said and asking. "Wait a second, are you having cravings?"

“Craving? I don’t know. I just felt this urge to eat bacon… I don’t even like bacon.” he grimaced, “But right now it doesn’t seem so bad… is that how cravings work? Huh.”

“Do you think you it can wait until you finish the ultrasound or do you really want to eat it now?”

“Well, I really feel like eating it, but… it’s just a craving, right? I’m not _hungry_.”

Obviously, the most rational and convenient solution in that kind of situation would be to tell Arthur “ _Okay, after your ultrasound, we can go somewhere and eat bacon_ ". Too bad the rational route wasn’t always the best route in Alfred's eyes.

“Let me handle it! I'm going to get you some bacon _now_!” he was determined in his decision, rising from his chair at that very moment. "Didn’t you heard that if you don’t eat one of your cravings, your baby will be born with a birthmark shaped like the thing you didn’t eat?? What if your baby gets one on its face? Bullying rates in the United States are brutal, man. Everyone is gonna call it Bacon Face unless I go get you some bacon right now.” Alfred joked but he wasn’t joking at all about going to get Arthur what he wanted.

“W-what? Alfred, where are you going to find bacon in a _hospital?_ ” Arthur asked in a slight squeaky voice, followed by a nervous laughter.

"There must be some at the hospital cafeteria or at one of the convenience machines. I don’t know. Doesn’t matter. What matters is that if you want bacon, you will have bacon!” Alfred assured him heroically.

“But… But what if they call me in?” Arthur continued, trying not to sound _too_ nervous.

"It won’t take long! I swear! If I don’t find it quickly, I'll come back and we'll eat it after the ultrasound!”

“Oh… alright.” Arthur said even if it wasn’t alright and he’d rather not be left alone, “Thank you, Alfred.”

Now, bacon was not an easy meal to find in a hospital. The people working on the hospital cafeteria said they didn’t have any (even when Alfred said it was for an omega with pregnancy cravings, hoping that that would lead them to reveal some sort of secret deposit of bacon they only showed to the worthy). The convenience machines had nothing like that either.

It was not as if Alfred could get in his car and go out on the streets randomly searching for bacon, so the only thing left for him was to walk around the hospital and ask the staff where was the nearest place that sold bacon or if someone knew the number of some place that delivered it.

He was a man with a mission.

* * *

Arthur got really nervous after Alfred left, more aware of the hospital smell and of the people passing by. He almost jumped out of his chair when one door next to him was opened and a smiling couple walked out of it.

Behind them came a smiling doctor. She looked at the clipboard in her hand.

"Arthur Kirkland?" she called, looking around. Arthur shrank back into his seat, but eventually raised his hand.

"Please, come with me, Mr. Kirkland."

"Uh... I'm actually waiting for someone, so..." Arthur muttered.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Kirkland, but I'm already behind schedule so unfortunately we can't wait..." The doctor said with a small smile, "But we can record the ultrasound and you can show it to your mate later, yes?" She insisted.

Glancing sideways one last time, Arthur ended up sighing and followed her.

* * *

Alfred managed to find bacon in a somewhat unexpected and inconvenient place. In one of the nurses’ lunchbox. He almost thought he was having olfactory hallucinations when he suddenly smelled bacon out of nowhere, but no! He had been lucky and bumped into a nurse who was about to have some delicious bacon on his break.

Alfred had to be really freaking annoying to get what he wanted. He repeatedly asked the nurse to give him the lunch box, offered to pay for it, and explained the situation in the most dramatic way possible, saying that he needed that bacon for a solitary omega who was having a very difficult time. It was all true, of course, but he felt a little dirty saying that for a few slices of bacon.

Anyway, the nurse eventually gave in and gave him the lunchbox, muttering something about alphas being dumb when it came to omegas.

Alfred, then, happily rushed to bring the food to Arthur at the waiting room, however…

* * *

  
“Have you drank enough water?” the doctor asked as soon as she closed the door behind her. The room was small, too small for Arthur’s liking.

"Oh, yes," Arthur murmured. His bladder was really full, actually.

"Great. You can take off your coat and lay down, please." She instructed, sitting on a stool in front of the hospital bed and putting on a pair of gloves.

Arthur looked at the door one last time and nodded, taking off his coat and putting it on a chair before sitting on the bed.

"Do I need to, uh... take off my...?"

"Oh, no, no, that's fine. Just lay down and lift your sweater, please." the doctor smiled. "How many weeks are you?"

“Uh… five months?” Arthur answered, unsure, “That is… twenty weeks?”

“Alright,” the doctor laughed, “Let’s see how this baby is doing.”

Arthur swallowed dry and laid down, lifting his clothes as the doctor had requested. He felt exposed, uncomfortable, anxious. There was a monitor next to some tools he did not understand. His hands began to shake. The smell was uncomfortable.

"There's no need to be nervous." the doctor smiled. "I'm going to apply the gel now. Just a heads up, it's a bit cold, ok?"

* * *

Where the hell was Arthur?

He was nowhere to be seen at the waiting room.

Weird. Where could have he went when it was almost time for his…?

OH.

“Excuse me, ma'am!” He ran to the front desk, clapping his hands hard on the counter to hold his momentum. "Can you tell me if Arthur Kirkland already been called? A pregnant male omega? He was wearing this wool coat and he has very eye-catching eyebrows and ...!”

"I'm sorry, but I can’t disclose information about patients.” the woman said without even lifting her eyes from the papers she was checking.

“We came here together!” Alfred tried to argue. “I’m accompanying him!”

“Are you related to him? Can you show me some documentation to prove it?”

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Alfred didn’t have time for this!  
He would check every room on that floor until he found Arthur. He didn’t care if he looked suspicious, he didn’t care if he would end up embarrassing himself. Arthur had asked him to stay by his side during his appointment and, goddamnit, Alfred would be by his side.

So Alfred ran by the hospital corridors, checking signs, knocking on doors and trying to see through the windows if he could locate Arthur. When he finally heard Arthur's voice coming from a door nearby, he was so full of adrenaline that he simply pushed open the door, running into the room and exclaiming "Arthur!", almost out of breath.

Arthur gasped in surprise and the doctor gave a small squeak with Alfred's abrupt entrance.

"Sir! You can't come in like this! Please leave!" she said, sounding a bit annoyed.

"N-no, he was the one I was waiting for, so..." Arthur said anxiously. The gel the doctor had put on his belly was cold, sticky, uncomfortable. He was shaking. He didn't want to be there. He wanted Alfred to stay, at least.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Kirkland, but I'm really going to have to ask him to leave..."

"He's the father!" Arthur exclaimed, taken by surprise by his own words, "Then please let him stay!"

Oh, well, that had gone in a strange direction.

"The father, you say?" The doctor was surprised. "I wouldn’t have guessed that, since your smells are so different from each other."

Oh, yeah! Of course they were! Damn! Arthur still had some of the smell of his former mate and he had no drop of Alfred's scent because, duh, they had never done anything!!  That was going downhill so fast.

What should Alfred say now???

"Well, yes, but that's not the point, is it? I don't want to talk about my personal life. I'm saying he's the father, so he can stay. Right?" Arthur replied, serious. He was so embarrassed. He just wanted it to end soon so he could apologize to Alfred and pretend that none of it had ever happened.

"Well, if he is the father I don't see any problem... but sir, please refrain from invading a doctor's office like that in the future." the doctor scolded.

Flushed and still a little out of breath, Alfred mumbled a few apologies before approaching Arthur, standing beside him for his ultrasound.  
“I brought your bacon.” He said to Arthur quickly and discreetly, as if sharing confidential information.

"Oh, thanks." Arthur smiled awkwardly. "I can eat it later," he murmured as he watched the doctor shift in her stool.

"Shall we begin then?" she said.

Arthur nodded and she placed the device on his belly.

Alfred laughed a little at the face Arthur made because of the device moving the cold gel in his belly.

That was a very quick funny moment, though. Soon they completely changed their attention when images began to appear on the screen. In the beginning, it was always a bit difficult to identify what the heck was in the midst of the black and white picture of a womb, but Arthur was well into his pregnancy and his baby soon became quite visible to both of them.

There it was. It already had the outlines of a normal baby. It no longer was just a little thing inside Arthur. You could see its head, its little arms moving and...

"Congratulations, Mr. Kirkland.” The doctor said with a smile. "It’s a boy."

Arthur only realized he was crying when he felt his cheeks wet. And yet he kept staring at the screen, looking at the images of the little human being he was carrying inside him.

He felt Alfred's hand close to him and took it because he just... he didn't know what else to do... he was looking at his baby and it was... a boy...

"He seems healthy, and here we can see..." the doctor said, but Arthur stopped listening.

In his head he remembered Gilbert, sitting on his hospital bed, caressing Arthur's belly, who was sitting next to him.

“ _Hey, it’d be cool if we had a boy,”_ he had said _, “I could teach him to play football and it would be awesome.”_

“ _You can also teach it if it’s a girl.”_ Arthur had rolled his eyes.

“ _Yeah, but I want a boy, duh. It’d be awesome. Picture this: an alpha boy. I’d be so happy!”_

And they _would_ have a boy.

No.

 _Arthur_ would have a boy.

Gilbert wouldn’t because he was no longer alive. Arthur was alone with that little thing inside of him and it was a boy and the two of them were alone, completely alone with each other.

When Arthur started to cry, it seemed completely normal to Alfred. All first-time parents were like that, seeing their child for the first time. It was a really touching and important moment and some tears could escape when you were overwhelmed by the realization that you had given life and would become a parent.

However, Arthur's crying began to extend far more than usual and became heavier and more violent than one would expect from a cry of happiness. Within a minute or so, it became impossible to ignore the fact that Arthur wasn’t crying because he was happy. He was crying with despair.

The doctor, used to all kinds of reactions from her patients, began to save the pictures she had captured during the ultrasound while her patient cried, ignoring him to give him privacy.

But Arthur didn't even notice that. He had stopped noticing his surroundings a few minutes earlier, and all he could notice was his fear and his anxiety and how much less air was reaching his lungs.

He was going to have a boy... the boy Gilbert had wanted… Only he was alone and it was so scary, it was so frightening, and he didn’t want to be alone, he didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know what he could do, and he just… he just...

Alfred had no idea how to deal with an adult having a crying crisis. The most he could do for Arthur was to keep holding his hand and keep silent to not screw up saying something wrong.

What could he say to his friend? " _There, there, eat your bacon_ "? There was no comfort to the kind of feeling Arthur was experiencing.

Since her patient continued to cry even after she finished her work, the doctor took some tissues from a drawer.

"Here, excuse me, Mr. Kirkland." she said as she removed the gel from Arthur's belly. As much as she wasn't bothered by that kind of event, as a doctor she still had to provide the best possible treatment for her patients, and she knew how much being comfortable and warm were important for an omega to feel safe and calm. So she removed the gel from her patient even if her touch had made him shrink himself and cry even more. She covered his belly with his sweater, then stepped back to discard the tissues and remove her gloves.

Alfred, on the other hand, couldn’t remain so indifferent. It was devastating to see Arthur in that state and even more so to try guessing what he was thinking to cry like that.

Didn’t he want to have that baby? Or was he crushed about the fact that it wasn’t his mate holding his hand at that important moment?

As someone who had also lost his mate, Alfred could partly understand his feelings. Partly. He had a family more than willing to help him and he had children for whom he needed to be strong.

Arthur... Well... Although there was a baby inside him, Arthur seemed immensely lonely.

Alfred felt that his heart was uncomfortably tied to his chest. His sense of powerlessness at that scene was terrible. He wanted to do something, _anything,_ to ease what Arthur was feeling.

Although he had no words to say, there was still one option.

He wrapped his arms around Arthur's shoulders and pulled him into a hug, letting him sink his face into his chest.

Taken by surprise, Arthur stopped crying for a moment, the tears still streaming down his cheeks. Once he understood what was happening, he clung to Alfred and allowed himself to cry more, putting out all those horrible feelings, all his fears and his doubts.

Eventually, he felt how much... Alfred's scent was good. It was surrounding him completely, flooding his nostrils and conveying a pleasant sensation of comfort, tranquility and protection.

Arthur had missed that pleasant sensation provided by the presence and protection of an alpha. It was good. He felt himself soothed by that scent.

Arthur's breathing slowed, and his scent gradually grew softer. This gave Alfred a little of tranquility as well, since he had been completely lost and distressed since Arthur had begun crying.

Then, relieved that the hug had helped, Alfred began to tug at Arthur's hair and draw circles on his back to make him more at peace.

Feeling much calmer and mildly intoxicated by Alfred's pheromones, who filled his senses at the moment, Arthur murmured, "...your scent... it's so good..." He sank his face into Alfred a little more, distractedly, "I really like it..."

This comment made an intense shiver run through Alfred's body. Ugh. Arthur really shouldn’t say such things that casually. Did he not know what it meant for an alpha to hear this from an omega?

“Uh... Hm... Thank you. It's, I mean... " Alfred looked away, even though Arthur couldn’t even see his face in that position. “I mean… It’s good to know.”

Arthur smiled a little against Alfred's chest. His smile fell when he thought of Gilbert, but in general, he felt much calmer and relaxed. He took a few deep breaths, and finally gathered his strength to get away from Alfred.

He looked down, then at Alfred and offered a small, embarrassed smile to him.

"… thank you." He whispered, touching Alfred's shoulder, "I feel better. I... I'm sorry for making you go through all this..."

“It's all right.” Alfred answered immediately, giving a small smile to Arthur, grabbing his hand and holding it over his shoulder. “Sorry for not being able to... I don’t know....”

“For what?” Arthur asked, rubbing his eyes and sighing. He felt really, really tired and a bit hungry.

"Mr Kirkland?" the doctor said, holding an envelope where she had placed the images and general observations, "Here. As I said earlier, your baby is a healthy boy. Follow your obstetrician's guidelines and you'll be fine."

"Thank you." Arthur said, taking the envelope and avoiding the doctor's embarrassed eyes.

He sighed in relief as he and Alfred left the room.

* * *

  
Despite knowing he was doing his very best to support his friend, Alfred still felt bad for not having anything good to say to comfort Arthur, except for cliché lines like "you'll be fine" and "your mate wouldn’t want to see you sad". Arthur needed help but Alfred wasn’t sure if he was the right person to say what he should do or how should he feel. The best advice he could give under those circumstances was that Arthur should put his ultrasound on social medias so he could share it with more people who would be happy with the news.

Perhaps one of those people could say the right words for the situation that Alfred himself could not.

Arthur hesitated a little, but agreed. Gilbert's family deserved to see the results too, didn't they? They would be so happy.

So, sitting at the hospital cafeteria while he pinched his bacon and Alfred had a cup of coffee, he took a picture of the ultrasound images with his phone and posted it to his profile with a simple line: "It's a boy!"

Arthur seemed distracted by his cell phone, and Alfred continued to drink his coffee in silence, looking at the little changes in his expression. Watching Arthur was definitely worth it because, suddenly, a smile sprang to his face, as unexpectedly as a flower blooming in the desert.

"My brother-in-law commented on the post..." Arthur commented, showing his phone to Alfred, "He is super reserved, so... what he wrote, even if it's short, It..." Arthur smiled and didn't finish his sentence. On the screen, the commentary just said, " _Gilbert would have been very happy with this. You can always count on us, Arthur. Have you thought of a name yet_?"

As soon as he read the message, Alfred smiled back at Arthur, feeling immensely happy to see that there were others besides him who valued Arthur and wanted his well being.

“He’s right! Have you thought of a name yet?”

“Yes,” Arthur nodded, “He’s gonna be called Gilbert.”

Arthur smiled, rather sadly, and stroked his belly for a moment. Before the mood got heavy and sad again, though, his phone vibrated with yet another comment on his post and he ended up smiling more happily.

They finished eating, and as it was still early, Arthur took a bus to return home, thanking Alfred several times before that. Upon arriving, he came across an even greater amount of comments and nice messages. All the messages were of congratulations and of strength, wishing him happiness and reinforcing that he could count on them for anything.

Arthur ended up crying a little more at home as he read them, feeling a little... lighter.

Despite everything... maybe everything would be just fine.

* * *

  
All the way home, Alfred thought really hard about what had happened at the hospital. He wondered, in particular, what had made Arthur cry like that. At first, he thought he was just missing his mate, yet there seemed to be more to it. Arthur seemed legitimately distressed with something and thinking about all he knew about Artie, he had a clue about what it could be. More likely, he was frightened by the thought of having a child and raising him alone. Especially considering he was not even the most interested in the idea of having children in the first place.

Still, not having a mate didn’t mean that Arthur had to go through that alone. Alfred was just a friend but he truly wanted to be at Arthur’s side in every step of this new phase of his life. At first, it was only out of solidarity. He just wanted to support Arthur because it was the right thing to do. However, over time, he got to know Arthur better, sharing moments with him and knowing more of his sides than his sad story and now… Now, he didn’t want to do just the minimum necessary to later say to himself "look at that good thing you did in the past!" No. He wanted to continue being friends with Arthur and he wanted to help Arthur through his pregnancy and, perhaps, even in the process of raising his son.

Alfred needed to take it seriously and invest a little more in Arthur than before, since he really needed a little extra attention.

When Alfred got home that night, he talked to his brother (the nanny of the day) and his children, told them to keep playing together and went to his room. There, he picked up his laptop and spent the next few hours researching good quality and good-priced products for newborn babies. Something that he honestly never, ever thought he would be doing again.

  
Life was such a wonder, sometimes.


	5. What Lives in a Shell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello, everyone! Here we are again with another chapter!  
> Here’s a light, nice chapter for you guys. Hope you like it! As always: thank you for your nice reviews and kind words. It means a lot to us! 
> 
> MissLiveByThePen, aedynlex23, Fire_Bear, YuukiMe, RantingFangirl, tstysxckxx: thank you so much for the nice reviews!! You guys are great! Mayumi has just answered all your reviews! :D
> 
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> 
> Now, to the chapter!

 

February 10, 2018

 

"Do I _really_ need to take off my clothes?" Arthur asked, his brows furrowed as he wrapped his coat around himself.

It was February.

It was cold.

And they were in a beach.

A cold breeze made Arthur shrink even more: he was in his pants and sneakers, but wearing only a short-sleeved shirt under his coat. The sound of the waves would be reassuring if it weren’t for his quivering chin.

"Can’t I... wear this for the pictures...?" he tried.

"Come on, Arthur,” Alfred insisted, bringing his camera closer to Arthur's face. "It won’t even look like we're at the beach if you stay all covered up like that! Not to mention you need to show your belly! That's the whole point of the photos!”

Alfred's goal on that trip was to take all kinds of pictures of pregnant Arthur so that in the future he would have an album of them to show to his baby. Arthur was over twenty weeks pregnant, and his belly was very noticeable now. It seemed like a good time to take the typical "pregnant on the beach pictures". Well... Except for the fact that it wasn’t a good time to go to the beach in general.

"But it's so cold..." Arthur complained, shrinking his shoulders a little more.

Nearby, Alfred's children were sitting on the ground, making sand castles. They were both warmly dressed and laughing, having so much fun. Arthur ended up smiling a little at that.

When Alfred suggested they went to the seaside for the weekend to take those pictures, Arthur immediately declined his invitation. He didn’t want to give that kind of hardship to Alfred, especially since Alfred had no obligation to him. However, when Alfred remarked that it had been a long time since he or the children had gone to the beach, and that it would be good for them to go on a short trip, Arthur had a hard time refusing. He knew how much Alfred loved his children and that he didn’t have much time to do things with them. In a way, that trip to take photos of Arthur during his pregnancy was a small excuse for Alfred to go out with his children, and that was something Arthur could not refuse.

He sighed,

"Can I just… take off my shirt and keep my coat?" he asked, "I don’t want to freeze."

“Yeah, that's fine. I can agree to that.” Alfred laughed, still holding his camera very close to Arthur's face. "Can I take a picture of you right now? Just like this. You have the funniest expressions, you know.”

“What do you mean by ‘funny’?” Arthur asked with a grunt, furrowing his brows and making a small pout with his lips.

Alfred took a photo of that pouty face, keeping it for posterity.

"They're funny. That’s all.” he replied happily, taking more pictures while Arthur, embarrassed, tried to steal his camera.

”Hey!” Arthur protested, but he gave up when he saw that he wouldn’t be able to get Alfred's camera.

Giving up with a sigh, he took off his coat and put it on the towel Alfred had laid out on the sand. His orange shirt was a little tight on his now visible belly. Arthur took it off and immediately hugged his body as he felt the icy wind of the beach against his warm body.

To see that amount of Arthur's exposed skin, even if only for a short time, was something that Alfred was not mentally prepared to deal with, and he gaped slightly, letting his camera slowly go down at his chin level and staring at Arthur, somewhat dumbfounded.

But Arthur was feeling too cold to notice that, and simply grabbed his coat and put it on, hugging it closed while his chin trembled.

"O-okay... the pictures will have to be with... with the coat open, right? So... you're going to have to be quick because... I'm cold”. he said, and then hesitated, "... in what pose should I ...?"

Oh, right, yes. Take pictures. That was what Alfred was doing, right.

"How about you put your arms behind your head and lean your belly forward? That’s a common pose for this kind of photo, I think.” Alfred suggested, adjusting the position of his camera and kinda intentionally hiding his face behind it.

"Okay..." Arthur muttered.

He timidly put his hands behind his head, closing his eyes because of the cold wind. Somewhat awkwardly, he looked at Alfred, hearing the sound of the photo being taken. He ended up smiling a little, and then he heard the noise again.

"How many pictures will you take?" he asked.

"About eighty, I think!" Alfred answered completely honestly. Seeing Arthur's jaw drop, he added, "Not all of them in this pose, of course!”

“Why so many?” Arthur questioned, his chin trembling.

“So we can choose the best ones and make an album, duuuh! Now, pose as if you were kicking the sand!”

Alfred seemed to know a lot about pregnancy photos on the beach, because after that, he asked Arthur for at least fifteen different poses, albeit similar. And he took from each one at least ten photos at different angles.

Of course, since it was really cold, they would stop after three or four poses at a time so that Arthur would put on his coat, curl up on the towel, and drink something warm to stay hydrated and warm. Omegas needed special care after all, especially when pregnant.

During one of those resting moments, Arthur found out that Alfred had learned all those poses during Antonio’s two pregnancies, although in his case, the photos of his mate were taken during the summer and by a real photographer.

They also watched the children play - bored with the castle, they ran across the sand, their laughter echoing along the beach and making Arthur smile. Alfred took a picture of that as well.

When Alfred was finally satisfied with the amount of photos they took, Arthur was feeling like  there was sand up in his hair and he was feeling really tired. While he was eating a sandwich, he rubbed his eyes.

"I hope you're satisfied with the photos, Mr. Jones." he grunted with a small smile.

"I'm quite satisfied, yes.” Alfred nodded, sitting down next to Arthur on the beach towel they had stretched out on the sand. He was a little tired of leaning in different poses to catch Arthur's various angles. "You would hardly go in a trip like this in the later stages of pregnancy, so I wanted to do it as soon as possible.”

"I don’t know why you bothered so much about it, honestly.” Arthur muttered, hugging his legs, "You didn’t need to, you know. I mean... I know you used this as an excuse to spend some time with your kids too and you're paying for everything, but still…”

Alfred looked at Arthur and blinked in confusion.

“We are friends. Isn’t it normal for me to be excited to register an important moment for you?”

Arthur shrank a little more.

“I don’t know. My other friends wouldn’t do something like that just for my sake. A trip, I mean... I'm not complaining! I just… I don’t know.” Arthur said, then briefly smiled, "You're too good to me, I guess."

_Too good to me._

Alfred blushed a little and looked away, trying to avoid the shadow of a guilty feeling suddenly hitting him.

“I’m not doing much, really. As you yourself said, this trip was something for my children too. That was no problem for me.”

However, instead of playing with his children on the beach, Alfred let them play by themselves and focused his attention on Arthur. It was really difficult for someone to steal his attention from his children but Arthur had somehow managed to do it.

Arthur nodded.

“Thank you.” He said, “For being such a good friend.” He smiled, and then flinched even more. At that point, he looked more like an acorn than a person, hugging his knees like that. “ I... I think I'm going back to the inn now... I need a hot bath. You can stay and play with the kids. You barely spent any time with them.”

“Arthur, actually...!”

Before Alfred could finish what he was about to say, Emily and Billy ran towards them with equally lively smiles. Emily was holding a flyer in her hand.

"Did you see it? Did you see it?” She asked excitedly.

“Fireworks! Fireworks!” Bill added. “Can we go? Can we?”

What? Fireworks? What were they talking about?

Arthur took the flyer from Emily's hand and exclaimed an "Oh!"

"There's going to be a fireworks display tonight.” He read, and then handed the paper to Alfred, smiling at the children. "Do you want to see the fireworks?"

“YES!” the two of them answered in unison. They seemed super-excited about it.

"What time is it?" Alfred wondered, searching for this information in the flyer. “Hm. Nine o'clock. This is past Bill's bedtime and almost at your bedtime, Emily. You know you are supposed to sleep the amount of time that equals the sum of your age plus a number, and Bill is six.”

The children pouted.

That was too adorable for Arthur,

"Oh, come on, Alfred. Only one day is not going to be so bad, is it? We can stay just a little, just so they can see the fireworks. And then go back and go straight to bed. And tomorrow they can sleep in a little bit... " he suggested.

Hmmm. That wasn’t good. His kids always disobeyed bedtime when Arthur was around and Alfred didn’t want to make that a habit. On the other hand... Well, they were on the beach and it was a special occasion. He could make an exception this time.

"Okay," he conceded. His children started to celebrate that victory way too soon and he interrupted them to add firmly. "However, as soon as the show's over, we're going straight to the inn, okay? No negotiations on it. Don’t even try to cry your way into staying.”

The children quickly agreed to that, and Arthur winked at them.

He then yawned.

He had woken up early to go to Alfred's house, from where they headed toward the coast. They drove for hours until they reached their destination. Then, they checked in the inn, left their belongings there, and came straight to the beach where they had been at for hours.

Arthur was tired.

"Well, then... we'd better go back. I'd like to nap a little before the fireworks.” he admitted.

“Yes, yes. I agree. We'd better all rest for tonight.” Alfred said, getting up and tapping on his bathing trunks to get the sand out. “Emily and Bill, get your toys, okay? We're going back to the inn!”

Arthur helped Alfred to collect the towel and their bags and they all walked towards the inn, the children talking excitedly about the fireworks and asking if they were made of stars. It was cute.

Alfred explained how fireworks worked but Bill decided that they were really made of stars and end of story. It was so adorable.

As soon as they arrived at the inn, as they only had one bathroom for the four of them, Arthur proceeded to first take the dirty cutlery and pots out of their bags to wash them.  
"You can shower the children in the meantime." he said, "I want to spend a good time in the tub later."

“Oh, thanks! Emily already bathes on her own but Billy doesn’t. By the way, Emily, can you make Arthur some company while I help your brother? Thanks, princess!” Alfred said quickly before rushing after Billy, putting him on his back and playing with him, pretending to be a airplane as he took him to the bathroom.

“Hey, Emily. Did you have fun today?” Arthur smiled as the little girl approached him, sitting down on one of the chairs. He folded the sleeves of his shirt to do the dishes - but first he changed the water to  warm.

“Yep! Bill and I made sand castles and collected shells! I just think it was lame that dad didn’t let us get into the water!” she made a small pout while saying that last part. “I wouldn’t drown! I have  swimming lessons in school!”

"He didn’t let you go to the water  because it was cold." Arthur said, "Weren’t you cold?"

"Well, nope. I'm an alpha.” Emily shrugged. "I don’t think Bill was feeling all that cold, either. Daddy was probably just worried about Billy drowning, since he's too small. I mean, I understand his reasons…” Emily admitted resignedly. “It's kinda lame not being allowed to swim in the beach but I do understand dad being worried about us.”

"Well, I'm glad you understand, Emily. He only wants the best for you.” he smiled. "And I'm sorry I took all his time today. You should have played together for a bit at least …”

“It's all right.” Emily smiled back at Arthur in a patient, gentle manner. "We made a deal about it that today he would focus on taking photos of you and tomorrow he would play with us all day. We knew he was going to be busy with you today. Oh, hey! Do you think he's going to let us play in the sea tomorrow?"

“I don’t know.” Arthur said honestly, "It's possible. Do you want me to ask him?”

Emily nodded.

"I'll ask him later then." Arthur replied with a wink.

Emily let out a relieved sigh, looking pleased.

"Do you want help with the dishes?" she asked, pointing to the pile of dirty pots in the sink.

"Hm, you can help me to dry the pots if you want." he suggested as he turned on the sink to do the dishes, a contented smile on his lips. Emily was such a responsible and kind child! "You can take that cloth there for it."

With that settled, Emily helped Arthur until Alfred and Billy came out of the bathroom. Bill's hair was wet and messy and he was being carried in Alfred’s arms wrapped in a towel, laughing at Alfred saying "and once again, the sea monster was defeated by Billy, the hero!"

"Hey, now it's your turn, Em!” Alfred told Emily and she gladly let go of what she was doing and ran to the bathroom.

Arthur smiled at that scene, and then looked at his own belly. He hoped to be a good father like Alfred was.

"Thanks for the help, Emily!" he said to the little girl as she ran to the bathroom. Then Alfred informed him that he was going to help Bill get dressed and be back back soon.

Meanwhile, Arthur finished the dishes, dried the rest of the pots and left them on the table for them to make more sandwiches for the next day.

When Alfred came back into the living room, the dishes were already cleaned and stored, and Arthur was comfortably lying on the couch.  
“Dang, you were fast. I didn’t even have time to be a gentleman and offer help!” Alfred joked mildly impressed.

“Emily helped me.” Arthur informed him.

He had taken off his shoes and curled up on the couch (on a towel, so it wouldn’t get dirty with sand). It was nice laying there but he still felt cold and uncomfortable.

“Where's Bill?” he asked as he looked around and didn’t see the boy.

"He's taking a nap now to have energy for later." Alfred answered, sitting on the arm of the couch since Arthur was occupying its three places. "To be honest, you seem about to do the same.”

"Yes, I'm exhausted..." Arthur replied as he rubbed his eyes. "I just want to take a bath to warm myself up. What about you? Are you going to do that too?”

Alfred stretched out and yawned. He was a bit tired as well.

"Yes, but only after you. Pregnant people and children have priority, you know.”

Arthur nodded.

“True.” he rubbed his eyes again. "You should take a shower first, though. Like I said, I was thinking of staying on the bath for a while relaxing for a few minutes. It wouldn’t be fair to make you wait.”

“Nah, I can wait. I still have to help Emily with her homework. I'm not in a hurry.”

The moment he said it, Emily came out of the bathroom, wrapped in a blue towel, walking past them and heading straight for the bedroom.

“Put on warm clothes to sleep! It may get colder later!” Alfred warned her and she showed him a thumbs-up before closing the bedroom door behind her.

Arthur laughed a little, then stood up.

"Okay, I'm going to take a bath now, then. he said as he stretched.

He grabbed his bag in the bedroom after Emily dressed up and filled the tub with hot water, just undressing after making sure the water was warm enough. He put some salts in the water and closed his eyes as he entered it, the hot water relaxing his body completely.

He felt so relaxed he almost fell asleep.

So he decided to get out of the tub after only about fifteen minutes. Yawning, he put on warm clothes and left the bathroom, finding Alfred and Emily sitting at the kitchen table doing her homework together.

“I’m done with my bath. I'm going to take a nap now.” he informed them.

“Where? If it's here, we can leave.” Alfred offered.

“Oh, no, no, I’ll take a nap in the bedroom. So you guys can stay here and study, and I keep Bill company.” Arthur replied.

“Ah, thank you. I feel calmer with someone sleeping next to him.” Alfred smiled with sincere gratitude to him.

"When I'm done, I think I'll join you." Emily yawned. “I’m tired.”

“Yes, you should do that so you’ll be awake for the fireworks later,” Arthur nodded, touching the top of her head for a brief moment and then retreating, blushing a bit in surprise because of his own gesture, “Well, then, I, uh, I’m going to take my nap now. Good homework!”

“Thank you, Arthur!” Alfred and Emily said in unison, showing almost identical smiles. They really were father and daughter.

Arthur’s cheeks were still reddish when he entered the bedroom, but he was too sleepy to worry about his maternal instincts for much longer. There were two double beds in the room. In one of them, Bill was sleeping all stretched out, which made Arthur smile. He covered the small boy with a blanket and then crawled in the other bed, falling asleep not much longer.

He was tired.

 

* * *

 

Alfred and Emily didn’t take much to finish with her homework after Arthur went to sleep. They were almost done when Artie came to them and Emily rushed a little after listening to Arthur's advice. As a result, impressively, just ten minutes later, Emily was getting up and getting her stuff to take to the bedroom.

Alfred took advantage of the fact that he was alone to take a look at the pictures he took of Arthur that afternoon. He couldn’t stop smiling at the different poses and faces that Arthur did in certain photos. Even though he was clearly freezing, he did his best to be photogenic. He was so adorable.

It was a good thing that his kids liked Arthur so much. Arthur was always himself and could get a little shy in front of them, but they seemed to appreciate the fact that he was always interested in knowing what they were doing and that he could make great desserts.

Arthur was pretty cool, actually. Despite being in such a difficult situation, he was doing his best to keep his life in order and to be happy. He was super-considerate and even when he worried too much about little things, Alfred still found that side of him lovely. Arthur also seemed to have a good sense of humor. He hardly ever joked but when he did, it was always fun.

What other sides of Arthur he had yet to discover?, that was something Alfred wondered about more and more often. He wanted to find out more about Artie. About his tastes, about his history, about his sense of humor... Alfred wanted to see different expressions on his face and his reaction to the things Alfred liked.

However, despite knowing he wanted to learn more about Arthur Kirkland, he didn’t fully understand yet the reason for his own curiosity.

 

* * *

 

When Arthur woke up a few hours later, the first thing he saw when he sat on the bed was Alfred's children sleeping on the bed next to his. Bill had found a way to uncover himself again, but Emily was hugging him in her sleep and, honestly, that was the most adorable thing. Arthur's heart was filled with a lukewarm feeling and he caressed his own belly as he watched them.

At times like those, seeing Alfred's children so at peace, he felt excited about his own pregnancy, eager to be able to look after his baby as well.

He left the room still groggy because of sleep, and noticed on the clock that it was a little past seven in the evening.

Alfred was sitting in the couch in the living room, and Arthur walked to him.

“Good evening…” he yawned, “You decided not to take a nap?”

Alfred was genuinely surprised to see Arthur awake, saying "good EVENING." He didn’t realize how much time had passed since Arthur went to sleep.

"No, I was... Uh...  I…” Alfred blushed a little, averting his eyes. Why was he feeling so embarrassed? Why??? “I... I put your photos in my laptop and I was editing some things. You know, doing collages and stuff. Uh, it's not too late, right?” he picked up his laptop from the coffee table and checked. 19:15. Okay. There was still time for him to dress himself up and  the kids to go to the beach.

"You should have taken this time to get some rest," Arthur commented, sitting down beside Alfred for a moment. "Are the photos good, at least? Did I make a lot of faces?" He took the opportunity to ask, looking at the screen of Alfred's laptop.

“You did,” Alfred confirmed, laughing a bit. "But I like them. I did a collage with the best ones in my laptop.” he said, selecting the document in question in his photo folder and opening it for Arthur to see.

Alfred had made a collage of several of Arthur's faces and grimaces. The way the photos had been clipped and pasted one over the other added an even more comical air to the file. Arthur laughed.

"You're forbidden from showing this to anyone!" He said, "Damn. Look at that one there. I look like one of those cats reacting to cucumbers."

Arthur rarely laughed, so listening to him laugh, even briefly, Alfred felt his heart racing. A feeling he tried to ignore.

“What a loss to the world because these are incredible!” he replied, smiling and pushing Arthur's shoulder against his. “Ah, but I also got some photos that look legit professional. Do you want to see them?”

"I do, but later," Arthur replied. "Let's make some sandwiches for dinner and wake up the kids. They will be upset if they miss the fireworks." he suggested.

"No, we can just buy something. You're right, though. We shouldn’t waste time. We should get dressed.” Alfred agreed, closing his laptop and putting it back on the table. "Do you want to change into the bathroom while I wake the kids?"

"Oh, hm. Okay. I mean, we bought things for sandwiches on the way here, so wouldn't it be better to use them?" He asked because Alfred was already spending so much on that trip…

"Yes, but what if we find something tastier on the way to the beach? Let's leave the sandwiches for tomorrow!” Alfred argued, standing up and stretching, feeling his energy spreading through his body after a whole afternoon with him sitting on the couch. "When you travel, you need to eat the local food, Arthur!”

Arthur shrugged,

"Local food is often overpriced to take money from tourists. But, well... it is winter. Maybe they're not that overpriced now..." he commented almost to himself, "Well, anyway. Go wake the kids, I'll get dressed."

"All right, but you have to come with me to get your clothes! Your bag is in the bedroom, right?”

“Oh, duh, right.” Arthur nodded and followed Alfred to the bedroom.

He grabbed his bag and smiled at Alfred as he left the room, watching briefly as Alfred shook Emily's shoulder and heard her grumbling.

Once in the bathroom, he chose a warm sweater and pants because if it was already cold during the day, it would become even colder at night. As he changed, he felt something... odd.

He paused for a moment, feeling something similar to cramps. He had felt something like that a few times before, but he figured it was something to do with his pregnancy and didn't mind it. Now, however, it seemed a little more intense. It didn't really hurt. It was more like... Looking at his own belly, he felt that slight discomfort again, and this time he saw something moving beneath his skin. That was...! The baby was kicking!

He stood still for a moment and put his hand on his belly, smiling at himself as the baby kicked again.

Oh.

That was... odd, but so amazing.

He left the bathroom at once and ran to Alfred. He needed to show that to someone.

"Alfred!" he called, excited, "Alfred!"

Alfred was in the bedroom with the children, who were both already awake. Arthur approached him smilingly and took his hand to place on his belly.

"Look!"

Alfred was totally unresponsive for a moment. He had no idea what the heck was happening. One moment he was telling Bill that he had to put his clothes by himself because he was six years old and in the other, Arthur came in only in socks and underwear, putting Alfred's hand on his body and Alfred lost completely his train of thought.

What was happening? How should he react to that?!

"Uh... Arthur... What?" Alfred murmured in confusion, barely managing to organize his own words. He felt as if his tongue was melting in his mouth.

And then something very curious happened.

He felt something in Arthur’s stomach push his hand.

“The baby is kicking! Can you feel it? It has never kicked like this before!” Arthur explained excitedly.

He was, in fact, too excited to notice Alfred’s scent or how much he was blushing and staring.

Fortunately, his enthusiasm eventually passed to Alfred who was able to ignore the fact that Arthur was almost naked in front of him, holding his hand firmly against his bare skin to focus on the fact that it was the first time Arthur felt the baby kicking and that it was an important moment for him.

“Oh, shoot! We have to write down the date and the time somewhere! Do we have paper??” Alfred hurriedly asked, trying to get away from Arthur to look for it.

"We can take a notes on our phones!" Arthur suggested with a smile, staring at his belly and stroking it lightly. The baby kicked again and he laughed a little, feeling his eyes wet.

It felt so good to feel his baby moving. It was so... good to feel, more than to know, that there was a part of Gilbert still with him…

“Oh, right! Crap! I left my cell phone in the living room!”

"Don’t swear, dad!" Emily complained, looking annoyed by all that commotion. She probably didn’t understand what was going on. “Also, why are you walking around without clothes, Mr. Kirkland?"

"What? I'm no... Oh. Oh, uh..." Arthur replied, and then he felt his face burn in embarrassment when he realized that he was, in fact, practically naked. He swallowed hard and crossed his arms over his chest, muttering something before literally running out of the room and locking himself in the bathroom to get dressed as fast as he could.

What Billy had to say about that whole scene was:

“I'm also not wearing clothes, Em.” he said, pointing to the fact that he was wearing only his underwear and socks as well.

"Well, you shouldn’t be. I told you to put your shirt on, Bill. I'll help you put your pants on, but at least put your shirt on.” Alfred said, again focusing on the task of making sure his children were well-dressed for the fireworks show. "Emily, I think you should wear pants. It will be cold on the beach. Wearing only a dress is not a good idea.”

Emily looked at her red ruffled dress with a slightly disappointed expression.

"Can I just put my pants under the dress?" She tried to negotiate.

“Eh, why not? Go ahead.”

Arthur was really embarrassed by all that. Even after having got dressed, he avoided making eye contact with Alfred and the kids for a while, hugging his own body and feeling ridiculously aware of his every move.

Being an omega, he had always been taught that he should absolutely never expose himself the way he had just done. And none of that had crossed his mind as he left the bathroom earlier because, hey, his baby was kicking for the first time and he wanted to share it with someone!

He knew he had done nothing wrong and that nobody would judge him - Alfred was a good friend, even though he was an alpha. So Arthur tried not to think too much about everything.

They arrived at the beach not long after and, as expected, it was cold. The wind was stronger and sharper because of the salty breeze. On the other hand, the beach was lit up and there were several people there, as well as some food trucks and live music. It seemed like a very nice event.

It was nice but kinda crowded. Alfred was worried about his kids getting lost, so he held hands with Bill and nodded to Arthur to signalize to him to keep an eye on Emily, since they were closer to each other.

"Where do you guys want to go first? Do you wanna eat something?” He asked the group.

Arthur shrugged.

“Where do _you_ want to go?” he smiled to the children.

“For the hot dogs!” Bill replied pointing a hot-dog truck in the distance. Alfred was surprised. How in the world had that little child seen that truck with so many people passing in front of it? Wow.

“I'd rather have french fries.” Emily said casually, walking with her hands in the pockets of her dress. "But if they don’t have fries, I can eat hot-dogs too."

“We can check if we can find french fries before we go to the hot-dog truck,” Arthur thought out loud, “This way we don’t need to walk around with food.”

"Do you see any truck selling french fries?" Alfred asked.

“I can look for it!” Emily said excitedly. “I will run and check all the trucks! I'll be back in five minutes!”

"Nope, little princess, you could get lost if you did that." Alfred dismissed that dangerous idea. “You can look for it with us.”

“Awww but dad! I'm already nine years old! I assure you I wouldn’t get lost!”

"My princess, even I could get lost here. We're tourists, remember?”

Emily sighed, nodding. She could understand his point.

Unfortunately for Emily, they found out after walking through a lot of people, chairs and a few trucks that there was not a french fries food truck. She sighed for a moment, but then decided she would eat a hot-dog just like her brother.

"We can have french fries tomorrow." Arthur offered, because he could not resist those kids' sulky little faces.

"Weren’t we going to eat sandwiches tomorrow?" Emily asked surprised.

“We will.” Alfred said, giving Arthur a look of ‘seriously, don’t worry about it’. "After all, we already have all the ingredients to make a sandwich and we can eat fries in our town any day."

With that settled, they ordered their food and sat down at a plastic table near the truck to eat.

As soon as he took the first bite, though, Arthur felt the baby kick again and absentmindedly touched his belly, caressing it over his clothes, and putting his food aside for a while.

Seeing this, Bill put his hand on Arthur’s belly too and asked worriedly,

“Does it hurt?”

Arthur blinked, blushed, and then smiled.

"No," he shook his head. At that moment, the baby kicked again and Arthur's smile widened. "The baby is kicking. Can you feel it?"

Alfred smiled, content to be watching Arthur's interaction with his youngest child. Bill seemed impressed by the movements of Arthur's belly and Arthur looked so happy... He really had integrated himself well into Alfred’s family.

As Alfred looked affectionately at both of them, something must have happened in his expression without him noticing, since Emily suddenly leaned over and whispered into his ear, covering her mouth with her hand to be more discreet:

"Dad, do you have a crush on Arthur?"

That question came so out of the blue that Alfred ended up reacting more strongly and awkwardly than he should. He turned his whole body to her at once, his face shocked and flushed:

“ _What_?! _No_??? Where did you get that from?! Also, where did you learn about this concept of having a crush on someone?! Who taught you that??”

Arthur lifted his face from his belly when he saw how awkward Alfred was sounding. He had heard what he had said and logically turned to Emily, his face slightly tilted to the side in confusion.

"Hn? Does Emily have a crush on someone?" He asked.

Oh, dang! Arthur heard that! Of course he had! Alfred wasn’t being discreet at all! Still... Urgh! Now he was panicking!

"N-No! That's not it! She was just talking about some fictional things!” He replied, waving his hands in a nervous and emphatic refusal. “L-Let's not dwell on that! Are you finished eating? The fireworks show will start any minute now!”

Arthur nodded. Bill, excited for the fireworks, hurriedly pushed the rest of the hot-dog in his mouth and stood up excitedly, jumping and asking to see the fireworks soon.

"Let's look for a good spot." Arthur suggested.

“Can you look for a good place with the kids while I buy something they can play with?” Alfred asked Arthur, feeling a little calmer by thinking on his children and ignoring more complicated matters. "I'm afraid they'll close businesses before the show is over."

"Sure." Arthur replied, holding out his hand for Bill to take it.

Bill took his hand and Arthur smiled with how easily he did it, so different from the little boy who who used to spy on him from behind his dad for months.

"Take my hand too, Emily. I don't want to lose you." He said, holding out his hand to the little girl as well.

As Alfred predicted, the trucks began to close before the end of the fireworks show, but unexpectedly, they actually began to be closed before it even started. Apparently, everyone was interested in seeing the fireworks, even the people selling food.

Shortly after he said goodbye to his kids and Arthur, people started to close their business, turning off the light of their food trucks or dismantling their tents. Alfred had to hurry to  find someone who was selling  kid friendly fireworks. He was probably overcharged, since he didn’t have time to contest the price the seller presented him, but he found some pop-its for his children.

By the time Alfred was done with buying stuff and went looking for his family, there were several people sitting by the beach and he had trouble seeing where Arthur and his children were. Fortunately, Arthur stood up and began to wave his arms, which managed to catch Alfred’s  attention.

They got reasonably far from the rest of the crowd, sitting behind a huge rock near the ocean. Everyone had gathered where the tents and trucks were before, so Arthur had decided to walk more and go to a slightly quieter corner, which had been a clever move on his part.

Arthur had put a towel they had brought on the sand and sat on it again as the children ran to Alfred, excited about what he had bought. Arthur watched the scene as he hugged his own legs, the smiles and laughter of Alfred and the children lighting up his night.

Those three were so adorable together. It was so cute.

And then the fireworks began, attracting the attention of all of them, who looked up at the starry sky now filled with colors and lights and shapes.

It was such a beautiful show. The fireworks made rains of stars, chains of fire... It was an incredible scene that Alfred was immensely happy to share with his children and with his dear friend. Arthur's eyes widened slightly at the beauty of the fireworks, and his dazzled expression made Alfred's heart be filled with a warm feeling of affection.

However, the children didn’t seem to share his fascination with the show.

"When will it end?" Bill asked in a slightly tired voice. “Very noisy.”

“That's it? We can only look at it?” Emily asked, seeming to make an effort to disguise her disappointment.

Arthur laughed at those reactions.

Kids…

"Why don’t you go play with the pop-its your dad bought?" he suggested, "But remember to pick up the paper after they burst!"

“And stay close!” Alfred added. “Play where we can see you and don’t approach the crowd! Don’t go near the water, either!”

The children nodded and ran through the sand, throwing pop-its on the ground to hear them burst and then collecting the paper as Arthur had asked them to.  
Arthur watched them in silence for a moment, then sighed, turning to look at Alfred. They had been friends for a few months and Alfred had taught Arthur a lot about babies, about being a father and caring for children... But on second thought... Arthur knew so little about Alfred himself.

"Has it been a long time since you last came to the beach?" he decided to ask.

“Yeah, it’s been a while. It's kinda dangerous to take two little kids to the beach, with no one else to help you keep an eye on them.” this was Alfred’s immediate response but after some thought, he ended up concluding that perhaps that question was an indirect way of Arthur asking if he had gone to the beach after his mate died. “It hasn’t been that long as you might think though. My brother sometimes comes with us  and we can go pretty much everywhere with him. It’s only been a year, a year and a half. Something like that.”

“Oh, I see. Not that long then. By the way...  you talk a lot about your brother. Do you get along?” he asked, resting his head on his knees as he looked to Alfred.

Alfred was a bit surprised to hear that question. He did talk a lot about a bunch of things in his life to Arthur but Arthur rarely brought up these subjects and much less asked about them.

“Yes. We get along. We make some teasing remarks about each other and prank each other sometimes but it's a sibling thing. I know I can count on him for whatever I need.” Alfred answered foundly.  

Arthur nodded.

“Who's the oldest?”

"I'm ten minutes older.” Alfred replied with a large smirk.

“Oh!” Arthur exclaimed, raising his head from his knees and raising his eyebrows, "Twins! You never said you had a twin. That’s amazing. Are you two similar, then? Is it true that twins can understand each other without talking and things like that? Tell me more about it!” he asked.

Why Arthur would be interested _now_ in learning more about Alfred's family? He had never been interested in that before so that kinda came out of nowhere. That was a little weird but… still very welcome.

"We're identical twins. We did all that ‘shifting places to do tests’ stuff.” Alfred laughed briefly and shook his head, amused by the memory, "Also, Matt always asked me to dump people for him because he felt bad doing it himself. Now, we've never had those twins super-powers people say exist. I could be in the hospital and Matt still wouldn’t feel anything paranormal telling him about it.”

"Is your brother also an alpha, then?" Arthur asked, because... Alfred had such an interesting life. Arthur felt privileged to be a part of it. "Wait, does that mean you went to the hospital as a child?"

“No, in college,” Alfred replied with a big smile on his face. “I slipped down the stairs of my dorm on a ironing board to win a bet and ended up with a broken leg. Matt just got to know that happened when everyone started shouting outside. Then he left his room, saw me on the ground and shouted ‘you freaking idiot!’ After that, he had to take me to the hospital. It was a pretty epic story.”

"Oh my god, Alfred!" Arthur said with wide eyes in a brief terror, but Alfred looked so proud of it that Arthur ended up laughing. “What were you thinking?!”

“Hey! There were 20 bucks at stake!” Alfred replied amused by Arthur's reaction. He seemed so relaxed and carefree. This was super-rare. Would... Would Arthur mind if he asked him personal questions as well? "Haven’t you ever done anything like that in your college days?"

"Yeah, those twenty dollars must have really helped paying your hospital bill,” Arthur rolled his eyes, smiling a bit. Then he shrugged, "Well, I was part of a band, I did graffiti on a wall once and got arrested for punching an alpha... But I've never got hurt for a bet or anything!”

"Yes, true, but you were freaking arrested! I mean, what the hey, Arthur! That’s wild!” Alfred gasped, letting out a half-nervous but mostly impressed laugh. "What did that alpha do? I'm pretty sure it was their fault.”

The children, distracted running down the beach and playing with the pop-its didn’t even notice their conversation, even though Alfred's voice had begun to grow louder because of his enthusiasm.

Arthur laughed.

It had been so long since he had spoken of university, and there was something very pleasant about doing it. He hugged his legs as he explained,

"It was nothing dramatic. An alpha was being an asshole and harassing a friend who really didn’t want anything with him... so when he tried to touch her, I just... I kind of jumped on him and punched him. A police officer saw me and took me to the police station... but when everything was cleared up, it was the alpha who got a warning.” he smiled proudly.

"You were the hero of the story, then!" Alfred noted, with bright, happy eyes, leaning closer to Arthur without even noticing. "That’s awesome, Artie! Even as a rebel, you were still a pretty great person!”

"It wasn’t a big thing, really,” Arthur shrugged. "We omegas need to take care of each other. But hey, ‘Artie’. I think it's the first time you call me that.” he smiled a little, his cheeks rosy. “My best friend in high school called me that…”

Alfred flushed a little too. He hadn’t even realized he used that nickname. It naturally came out of his mouth.

"Er... Does that bother you?" he rubbed the back of his neck, looking away. "Sorry. We're not in the nickname stage yet, right?

Arthur shook his head,

“I don’t mind,” he smiled a little but blushed even more. "You're my best friend, you know. I don’t mind if you call me by a nickname. Do you want me to think of one for you too?” he asked, serious. "How about Al?"

Every time Alfred thought the night couldn’t get any better, something more magical would happen to prove him wrong. _Best friend_ , _BEST FRIEND_! He never heard anything like that from Arthur before! It was so good to know that he had a special place in Artie's heart!

Alfred was ridiculously happy.

“Uh-huh. Yeah, sure. I like it.” He covered his mouth with his hands, trying to disguise the obvious grin on his face. “Thank you, Artie.”

Arthur smiled too.

"No problem, Al," he said with his face all red.

He looked at the horizon, hugging his legs a little tighter. Alfred's scent was... happy. It was a sweet, pleasant scent and it was calming Arthur, even if it wasn’t his mate's scent, which was... a little odd. A good thing, though, because it felt good to feel that kind of serenity. He felt at peace, with all his worries seeming distant at that moment, with the children playing in the sand, the fireworks in the sky, and the stars, and the baby kicking…

He brought his hand up to his belly, smiling at himself.

"The baby is kicking..." he said, looking at Alfred, "... do you want to feel it?"

Alfred nodded, placing his hand very carefully over Arthur's belly, showing a big smile to him as he felt the baby kick it.

“So strong! He could be a kung-fu fighter!”

"Oh dear, I hope he doesn’t keep kicking so hard. He'll end up hurting me.” Arthur laughed a bit, stroking his own belly after Alfred took his hand away. "Speaking of which, do you usually play sports?"

Once more, Alfred felt a huge smile spread across his face.

"I used to in the past. I played football in college. I've been a bit sedentary lately, though. Nowadays, the most I do is dance in Just Groove and chase after my kids.”

“Oh really? That’s funny, you don’t look like the sort of guy who would play something _that_ violent...  I would have guessed basketball or actual football - soccer as you would call it.” Arthur answered thoughtfully.

"Hey, are you saying you don’t think I'm strong enough for this kind of sport?" Alfred arched an eyebrow. His alpha instinct in proving his own strength had been activated at full strength. He had his pride! "I could still carry you in my arms, baby and everything!"

"I didn’t say you're not strong, I just said it sounds too violent for you..." Arthur replied, amused by Alfred's reaction.

However, his response did not have the calming effect he wanted, and for the next few minutes Alfred was listing a number of things that he, as a very strong alpha, could do. And when he began to say that he could drag a couch with his two kids, Arthur and the baby on it through the house without sweating while singing the national anthem at the top of his lungs, Arthur couldn’t contain himself: he covered his mouth with his hand and laughed, he laughed until his eyes were wet and he had to put his hand on the sand to keep from falling.

It was the first time Arthur had laughed so much in front of Alfred.

His eyes were glowing with tears, his cheeks were red and even if he was covering his mouth, it was so clear he was having fun by the way his whole expression was filled with joy.

So beautiful, Alfred thought.

Not his laughter itself, though it was too, but what Alfred thought was beautiful in that moment was Arthur. Arthur was completely gorgeous.

Even if Alfred could drag a couch with his children, Arthur and a baby through the house, he was completely weak against that smile.

It came like a flash. Like the sudden flash of colorful fireworks after a silent pause.

The realization that he really liked Arthur. He _liked_ Arthur. Not only as a friend.

He really wanted to kiss him on that very moment.

Arthur, for his part, did not notice any of this. He was too distracted by those warm and happy feelings because it had been so, so long since the last time he felt anything like that...

Eventually he sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"Al, you're so funny. I believe you are strong. You don’t have to drag a couch around your house to prove it.” He finally replied, smiling at Alfred.

There was something in his expression that Arthur noticed then. However, he didn’t know what it was, so he just tilted his head a little to the side, confused,

“Are you okay? You look kind of tense..?”

Damn, did Arthur noticed something? Did his scent told him what Alfred had just felt? That was no good, that was no good at all...

"Er... The show is over, isn’t it?" he blurted, after realizing that their surroundings got suddenly quiet. Terribly quiet, he felt. He ducked back a little, involuntarily, to put some distance between him and Arthur. He was extremely aware of every expression, every phrase, and every possible sign of his feelings at the moment. "Can you tell the kids we’re going back to the inn? I think they would accept it easier if you were the one to say it.”

Arthur blinked in surprise but nodded. Then he sniffed to smell Alfred, because something seemed to have happened and he had no idea what it was. Alfred's scent had somewhat tense but at the same time soft and Arthur had no idea what that meant.

“… is everything okay though?” he asked.

Alfred's heart was beating unbearably fast. So fast and so strong that he could feel the throbbing in his neck. No, he wasn’t okay. Nothing was okay.

"Y-Yes, I just... Uh..." Alfred hugged his own legs and turned his eyes to the sand, trying to disguise his feelings. The lights behind him began to fade as people began to leave the beach to return to their homes and everything was getting so much quieter every moment. "I was just thinking about some stuff... Don’t worry about it. It's no big deal. Can you get the kids for me?”

That response made Arthur worried. Alfred's scent became even more tense and that made Arthur tense as well.

"Oh, sure, fine.” he replied, standing up and walking to the children, looking back a few times.

He called out to the children with a wave and they came up to him and, with a small smile, he told them it was late and they needed to come back. Neither of them was overjoyed at this, but they agreed, and Arthur briefly messed up their hair before leading them back to Alfred.

"What did you guys think of the fireworks?" Alfred asked, putting his hair back and smiling with a small drop of disguised nervousness. "They were cool, weren’t they?"

That question had been totally hypocritical on Alfred's part. He had been so distracted looking at Arthur during their conversation that he had barely payed attention to the fireworks in front of him. Actually, now that he thought about it, he couldn’t see much when Arthur was in front of him. How hadn’t he realized before that he... ?

The children cheerfully answered that they had had a good time, even if they had hardly paid attention to the fireworks as well.

“W-Well... Are we going back now? Or do you want to go somewhere else, Al?” Arthur asked. He had said this as he looked at Alfred, trying to understand what was happening, but Alfred looked away and bent over to fold the towel they had brought.

Arthur wondered if he had done anything wrong. He didn’t understand that sudden change in Alfred’s behavior.

"You can go ahead.” Alfred smiled, his hands shaking nervously over his lap. "I'll stay here for a while. I want to enjoy some time alone with myself, you know?”

Arthur wondered what was wrong, if... if Alfred had been upset that he had laughed or something. Alphas were sensitive about that sort of thing. Arthur wondered if there was anything he could do to apologize…

However, since they were in front of the children, he just nodded and asked Alfred to be careful. He then took Billy’s and Emily's hand and walked with them toward the street and then down the sidewalk to the inn. The children asked some questions about the fireworks and the stars and Arthur answered them as best as he could, but his mind kept coming back to Alfred, wondering if he was really fine.

 

* * *

 

Alfred wasn’t fine.

He felt relieved to be alone and be able to admit it to himself. That he wasn’t fine. That he needed to digest what he had just realized.

That couldn’t be true, right? It must have been just a lapse on his heart. No chance he was feeling this way about Arthur. Haha. They were just friends! He... He was like Kiku to him!

"That's not true," whispered a voice inside him and he didn’t know if it came from his brain or from his heart.

Not to mention that Arthur was nothing like Antonio. While Antonio was always smiling and lavishing energy, Arthur was an introvert who was selective about his expressing happiness. Alfred couldn’t possibly have changed so much and fallen in love with someone completely different from his mate…!

"That’s not true"

Arthur was someone nice that Alfred wanted to help. Nothing more.

"That's not true, that's not true, that's not true."

But as much as Alfred wanted to believe all this, now he knew, with absolute certainty, that he had wanted very badly to kiss Arthur just a few moments ago, and that none of those excuses nullified that.

He wanted to kiss Arthur and it was not just an "oh, I wonder what that would be like" distant thought in his mind. Every fiber of his being said that this was what he should be doing, that he should be kissing Arthur. He was so overwhelmed with fondness for Arthur that this feeling had almost turned into a force, pushing him in that direction which he wouldn’t be able to return from.

Worst of all was that this feeling was…  familiar. That wasn’t the first time he felt this way, while close to Arthur. It was only the most intense, the one which had the clearest meaning.

He had already been captivated by Arthur's smile before, already felt like touching him, felt his heart race because of him...  
He just had never connected the dots of what did it all meant.

His heart was still beating so hard. It was speeding up a little each time Alfred remembered the sound of Arthur's laughter and the effect it had on him.

How stupid, how dumb of him. What the hell was he doing? Why was he leaning against a stone, staring out at the sea and thinking non-stop about an omega that was supposed to be just a friend?

The answer was obvious.

"I like Arthur," Alfred murmured to himself. Saying those words aloud made him realize that they didn’t sound absurd or strange to him. He felt almost relieved to finally say this, even if only to himself, as if that was stuck in his chest for a long time.

Facts were facts and needed to be faced as such. He liked Arthur. And that was true.


	6. The Graveyard Book

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! littlemaple here!
> 
> IMPORTANT NOTE: this chapter is mostly flashbacks, with Arthur and Alfred thinking about their mates. Which means Gilbert/Arthur and Alfred/Antonio. It also means it approaches character death and mourning. So if you’re sensitive to that, you can pretty much skip this chapter: you can read until the sentence that ends with “and he knew what it meant”, and then you can CTRL+F to the sentence that starts with “Even though” and read from there.
> 
> Other notes: Guys, hello!!! It’s been a while! Sorry for the wait, but we hope you’ll enjoy this chapter. We’ll do our best not to take so long for the next one. :3c
> 
> Fire_Bear, VivaDragnire, YuukiMe, startingfromtoday, EmpressVegah, RantingFangirl, cas, Gawd, Emmmmmm, luci: thank you so much for the lovely reviews!!! T_T Mayumi has just answered you all <3
> 
> And to CaptainScone, morovo, magiclaud, magiclaud, RibbonsFancy, Cloaina, MarziPanda95, RantingFangirl, addicted2tomatoes (VivaDragnire) and to all the guests that have left kudos: THANK YOU, TOO!
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy this chapter!!
> 
> PS: this is my favorite chapter tittle of all time. hehe.

 

February 24, 2018

 

Alfred was acting weird.

It wasn't something Arthur could ignore, but it also wasn't something he understood. Since that night on the beach, Alfred was... Arthur didn't know how to explain. He wasn't avoiding Arthur - he had invited Arthur to visit them the following weekend after the beach, and he kept texting and everything as usual... but he seemed to be avoiding some other things, like looking at Arthur in the eye, and avoiding being physically close to him. It was a bit weird.

Arthur couldn't help but wonder if he had done something wrong. He had already asked, but Alfred had said that no, he didn't, everything was okay and Arthur shouldn't worry about it; then he quickly changed the subject. Still... Arthur could not help but wonder. He also wondered if Alfred regretted having approached Arthur to begin with, that night at the dinner party, or if something in Arthur was bothering him - his presence? His scent? Arthur had no idea...

And as it was Saturday and those thoughts were just making him anxious, he decided  to clean and organize his apartment.

He couldn't ignore that he would soon have a baby, and he couldn't ignore that his apartment had not been properly cleaned since Gilbert died...

There was plenty to do there, no matter how small the apartment was. And he needed to find a place to put a crib, even if he still didn't have one...

So he turned on the TV to have something to distract his ears with and got what he needed to start cleaning the apartment. Maybe, he hoped, it would distract him from his intrusive thoughts about Alfred as well.

 

* * *

 

The last thing Alfred wanted was to act weirdly when he was near to Arthur. He liked their friendship and he didn’t want to disturb it by letting Arthur know how messed his feelings were at the moment.

He'd been thinking of other ways to explain the conclusion he reached on his feelings for his friend since that night on the beach. Maybe he was just lonely? It was possible that he had stayed too long without a boyfriend and he was now just missing that kind of contact... He could, also, just be feeling happy for Arthur and emotionally invested in his progress and had mistaken his own feelings of fondness and excitement for something else because they were so strong.

The problem with these excuses was that they didn’t explain why Alfred was reacting so specifically to Arthur. To his voice, to the funny expressions he made, to his sweet and soft scent, to his simultaneously clumsy and obstinate personality…

Urghhh.

Unlike what he thought and hoped, that was not just an outburst of a strange emotion that would vanish over time. After that night, things were just getting worse and worse. From the moment he realized that he was possibly liking Arthur, he started noticing him a lot more and learning details about him that only made his heart long for him even more.

He noticed that Arthur's favorite drink was green tea, that he was quite a mess when it came to making salty dishes, that he scratched his mark when he was nervous and that he loved movies about lost animals coming back home.

He realized that had a snarky sense of humor, that when they talked about a subject that interested him, he could get too excited and talk a LOT, and that it was kinda easy to make him blush.

Every detail he noticed was like a little gold nugget being found and together they made a treasure of immense value to Alfred.

What's worse was that the more he learned about Arthur, the less he thought that what he knew was enough. He wanted to learn a lot more, much more! Share more moments with him, see his reactions to different things and…!

Oh, shit. He was a lost case, wasn’t he?

 

* * *

 

Unaware of Alfred’s struggles, Arthur decided to start cleaning his apartment by the kitchen. He had to use a chair to reach the top of the cabinets to dust there, which made him remember that it was Gilbert who usually cleaned those spots. He smiled faintly as he remembered how clean the apartment had been before. As much as Gilbert worked with cars and had his hands and clothes dirty with oil when he got home, ten minutes later he was all clean and smelling of shampoo and cologne. He always kept himself and the apartment spotless.

After he died, Arthur hadn't found the strength to clean it all by himself. He kept remembering the two of them laughing and Gilbert chasing after him with soap in his hands, or Gilbert pushing him off the bed to change the sheets...

Arthur sighed and tried to focus on what he was doing: cleaning the cupboards, then washing the dishes and putting everything back in place. And then cleaning the stove and the refrigerator, then going to the living room to clean everything there too. He knew the memories would keep coming, because that was what had kept him from doing that before and he had not been ready for them. To be honest, he still didn't think he was ready to face those memories, but he couldn't ignore the mess in his apartment. He needed to get ready for his baby.

 

* * *

 

Alfred eventually decided that it was better to seek advice from a friend for whom he did not feel confused or complicated feelings.

“Are you really inviting me for a drink after work?" Kiku asked bemused. "Why is that? You're not much of a drinker, Alfred."

"Yeah, I know, but I've been stressed about some things lately and…” Alfred averted his eyes, looking through his microscope so he didn’t have to face Kiku directly. “... I need some advice... Or to vent... I'm not sure yet what I want, but I need to talk…”

He heard Kiku sigh, as if he was tired, but his voice came out soft and understanding:

"Today, you say?"

Alfred nodded.

"Well, I hope we can go somewhere that has a lot of different drinks.” Kiku said in resignation. “I'm not a fan of beers.”

Alfred's face lightened up immediately with that answer.

“Thanks a lot, Kiku,” Alfred left the microscope completely aside, practically jumping over his friend for a hug. “You're the best! The best! I promise to buy any game you want later!”

"W-Wait, Alfred! There’s delicate devices here!” Kiku replied, sounding somewhat embarrassed, which was a bit odd but Alfred didn’t thought much of it. He probably was actually just worried about their work instruments, Alfred thought, being more cautious and pulling away from him, while giving him an embarrassed smile of apology.

 

* * *

 

They had met at a party during Arthur's sophomore year. Arthur's band had performed at a small punk-rock festival organized by some students, and Gilbert approached him after the slow, a beer in each hand.

He had said:

“Corrupted Water, huh? It’s an interesting name”, while handing one of the beers to Arthur. Arthur remembered very well that first impression, because Gilbert had extra light blond hair, almost white, and his blue eyes seemed purple because of the lighting of where they were, and he had a smirk in his lips and such a soft-looking pale skin and he was wearing a black tank top with a white inverted cross on it and a jacket tied to his waist and tight red jeans and boots and Arthur had looked him up and down and all he could think had been _oh, wow..._

And he probably stared and certainly blushed and certainly almost dropped his beer but in the end he laughed and said:

"Well, yeah, it was the best suggestion between Flasy Slime and Elite Boner, so."

And then Gilbert was laughing too, and then he was praising Arthur's voice and asking for how long he had had a band, and suddenly it was three in the morning and the two were sitting on the parking lot curb, with Arthur wearing Gilbert's jacket and the two laughing, laughing at some silly joke that had come from some serious subject, and Arthur was super tired but he did not want to leave because Gilbert smelled strong and nice and he was so funny and so incredible and then he held Arthur's face and looked deep in his eyes and Arthur even closed his eyes thinking that Gilbert would kiss him, but instead he said that Arthur should go rest and invited him to have lunch the next day and then _Arthur_ kissed Gilbert. And it was so calm, so quiet and so serene...

And Arthur loved that memory, that quiet start they had, having lunch together, enjoying music together, making out here and there, exchanging erotic notes in the library while they studied and occasionally being asked to leave because they were laughing too loudly.

In the silence of the apartment, Arthur could still hear Gilbert's laughter if he closed his eyes. And it hurt because he remembered it so well, but everyday it seemed more distant.

 

* * *

 

Alfred and Kiku went to an English pub together. It was not the best possible place for their conversation because that environment in itself reminded Alfred of Arthur. However, it was close to work, had good prices and even had tabletop games to distract them, so it was really the best possible choice.

"I want the least alcoholic beverage you have." he asked the waitress who answered them when he was at the table with Kiku. Alfred couldn’t drink much. He would drive. Still, he needed at least a bit of alcohol. "Like, something that could barely be considered alcoholic."  
"And I'd like something sweet, please." Kiku asked politely.

After the waitress left them, Alfred wasted no time in talking about the issue he had been holding from himself and the world for days:

"I think I'm falling in love with Arthur.” He grunted, burying his face on the table. There it was. He had finally admitted it openly.  

Kiku said nothing for a moment and his silence practically weighed on Alfred's shoulders. What was Kiku thinking of him? Was he judging him? Taking pity on him? And which would be worse?

"Arthur… that omega who's expecting a baby from his deceased mate?"

Ouch.

“Yeah, him.” Alfred had to say because that was simply the truth. “I ... I'm trying to figure out if I can reverse this process somehow. I just don’t know how. I don’t want to distance myself from Artie because he really needs friends now. I also don’t want to have to go out with other omegas because that would be kind of wrong since I'm falling in love with someone else... Then, what should I do, Kiku?” Alfred lifted his head and faced Kiku with a helpless look. "What can I do to simply see Arthur as a friend again? I hate what's happening right now. Honestly, it's the last thing I wanted! The worst situation possible!”

“Are you certain about your feelings, Alfred?”

Oh yeah. Unfortunately, he was more and more sure of them. After all, he had felt something of this intensity before and he knew what it meant.

 

* * *

 

Alfred, unlike Antonio, realized that he had serious feelings and expectations about them in a very short time.

They were introduced by a mutual friend at a home party. It was pretty cliché.

Antonio was preparing to be a chef. Alfred was in his sophomore year  of Pharmacy. They had an instant chemistry. They were, as their friends said, equally loud and very happy-go-lucky.

Antonio's smile was the most beautiful smile Alfred had ever seen. It was such an uninhibited smile. It was as if his smile was a star, radiating on its own.

After three dates and several nights exchanging text messages, Alfred realized he couldn’t stop thinking about that guy. He often remembered the funny things Antonio said and the adorable expressions he made and wondered what their next date would be like, what it would be like to touch Antonio's soft, brown hair...

He felt his chest swell with pleasant and exciting feelings, his heart racing for no reason and his brain lighting up at night when he thought of the guy he was going out with. He had never felt anything like that for anyone before.

So he decided to tell Antonio about it at their fourth date. The occasion was very good. They went for a picnic in the park and were surrounded by nature, away from most people and sharing a nice sunny afternoon together. How could there be a better scenario for a love confession?

"Listen, Antonio, you like what we're doing, right?”

"I always love to have a good meal, Alfred.” He smiled innocently. The only flaw that Alfred could possibly point out in Antonio at that stage of their relationship was how much he was an airhead at times.

"No, I mean... Duh, I like to eat too but... That's not what I'm talking about!” Alfred exclaimed, blushing. “I mean… What do you think of this!” He gestured, indicating their surroundings and then pointing to himself.

“You mean, about the park?”

“Our relationship, Antonio!” Alfred had to be straightforward this time, even if his breath was racing and his cheeks were burning. He sounded as if he was angry, but all he felt was an intense, overwhelming nervousness. His heart seemed about to escape through his mouth. He was speaking loudly like that because if he didn’t make the utmost effort to be heard, the words wouldn’t even come out of his throat. “I'm enjoying going out with you! I like being the alpha that is dating you! I like you! I... I'm probably falling in love with you!”

“Oh, Alfred…”

What was he going to answer??? Oh, god…

"Isn’t it a little early to talk about love?”

 

* * *

 

Arthur and Gilbert dated throughout college. Gilbert graduated first and immediately got a job at a great company. He studied engineering and he had earned a full scholarship. His grades were always As and Arthur found it fascinating how he could keep those grades and work part-time while Arthur was barely getting Bs even if he didn't work and had all his bills paid by his parents back in England.

They were from very different worlds.

Gilbert worked for about seven months in that great company, and during a date when they had been going out for almost two years but had not yet officialized their relationship because neither of them had bothered to do it, Gilbert sighed heavily and confessed:

“Listen, I gotta be honest with you, Art. I hate my job. Like, I’ve never hated anything this much in my life. But the money's good, you know? So I was trying to stay there because, uh… I know you come from a rich family, and I want to be with you, and if I’m to be with you I gotta be an alpha that can afford your lifestyle… but I just… I don’t know if I can do it because if I have to see that cynical smile in my boss’ face one more time I’m gonna…!”

And Arthur was so confused at the time, because Gilbert had never even asked to be his boyfriend in the first place, and now he was talking about...! Besides... his chest tightened as he realized that the person he loved the most was forcing himself to do something he hated because of him...

"Gil," he said, "I... I like you, you know. Even if you haven't even asked to be my boyfriend or anything..." He pouted and looked away, "But... but I want to be with you too! And I don't want you to be unhappy. I want you to be happy! And I... I don't want someone to pay everything to me, n-not forever... I want a job when I graduate! I want to be independent! So... you'd like to work with your brother, wouldn't you? You get radiant whenever you talk about his workshop. So... you can do that. We'll both be working, we'll be fine!" he said.

And it was so sweet the way Gilbert pretended to not have his eyes wet.

He said:

"Arthur, I'm going to buy an apartment, so come and live with me!" and took Arthur's hands, squeezing them.

Arthur blushed and pinched his cheeks.

"Court me properly first, you idiot!"

 

* * *

 

That’s right, Alfred knew what he felt at that time, despite Antonio's completely skeptical response. Antonio thought he was only young and impulsive and, in the end, Alfred was right. Antonio eventually became not only his boyfriend, but his mate, husband and father of his children, and Alfred couldn’t be more pleased with the progress of their relationship.

Knowing what he was feeling for Arthur, though, was absolutely terrible. Because there was no way for them to have a happy ending, Alfred knew that.

"Is it really the worst situation possible?" Kiku asked, tapping his fingers on the table. He had a gentle but slightly strange smile on his face that Alfred couldn’t figure out. "You two are lonely people who understand each other's situation. I think you would make a great pair.”

“No, Kiku! That’s not right!” Alfred clapped his fists on the table. He felt his heart burn. It hurt to hear something that gave the impression that their situation was simple and intended for a quiet solution, when it was definitely nothing like that. “Arthur needs a friend! Not a new mate! Trying to hit on him, while he is emotionally vulnerable, would be seriously awful!”

"I see it as a win-win situation.” Kiku said, clearly taking it all extremely pragmatically. “You could help each other take care of your children and keep each other company. Sounds like a good deal.”

“It's not a good deal!” Alfred groaned, covering his face with his hands. "It's a bad deal! The worst possible! Arthur doesn’t want a romantic relationship and I don’t want to mess up our friendship, making him realize that I like him!”

“Oh well. In that case, just don’t let him realize that you like him.”

“ _It’s not that simple_!”

 

* * *

 

With the money he had saved during college and during his time working for the company, Gilbert bought an apartment. It was not the best apartment in the world, far from it. But it was theirs, it was a home, and they could always sell it in order to buy something better later on!

Arthur was very happy about that, because he loved Gilbert and being able to live with him made him ridiculously happy. And Gilbert's family was also happy to know that Gilbert now had a mate, and his friends as well as Arthur's friends, too.

The only people who were not happy...

"Arthur, how dare you embarrass our family this way?! We had decent mate options for you here, a good and comfortable life, and you decide... you decide to let yourself be mated by a guy who doesn't even have a pot to piss in?! What are we going to tell our relatives?!"

"Tell them I'm happy, and that I—"

"Of course, I wonder for how long. You've always received all the pampering in the world, I doubt this relationship of yours will last long. Get in touch when you get tired of playing house and decide to come back to real life, Arthur. Until then, leave us alone."

Arthur cried that night. He was scared and frustrated and sad, and Gilbert hugged him tightly and said that everything would be all right. And with Gilbert holding him tight and kissing his forehead, Arthur believed that everything would. With Gilbert, he knew he could do anything.

 

* * *

 

 

It was true that having a mate helped with domestic affairs. As a first-time father, Alfred didn’t always know what to do and, to be fair, Antonio didn’t know either. However, by sharing their doubts with each other, they managed to figure out a lot of stuff.

Toni might not have fallen in love as early as Alfred, but he definitely made Alfred know that he was loved when he fell in love too. He did a lot of the classic romantic gestures such as breakfast in bed, serenades and so on. He actually had more initiative in these romantic gestures than Alfred, who preferred to express his feelings directly with words or else subtly with thoughtful gifts.

They both wanted kids. After some time married, they decided they would try to have one in Toni’s next heat. That’s how they conceived Emily who, luckily for them, was a very well behaved baby for a first daughter. Still, they had some problems concerning her once in a while.

“Toooni, I've tried everything and she won’t stop crying! Check if she’s okay!” Alfred asked, rocking Em lightly in his arms and trying to hand her over to his husband, who was lying down, trying to sleep.

“Alfred... It's YOUR turn to take care of her. We already agreed on that.” Antonio grunted in a rare moment of ill-humor. "She'll calm down eventually. Just…” he yawned, closing his eyes and wrapping himself more in the blankets. "Just keep rocking her…"

“But Toni! What if it’s something serious?? What if she's sick? She won’t stop crying!!!”

"She probably is crying because you woke her with the noise of that game on your phone... " Toni sighed. "And I'm not a doctor... What difference would it make if I checked? If you really think she isn’t well, make sure she is breathing right and that her temperature is normal… If she is not well, then we'll go see a doctor…”

Well, he had a point. Alfred could check those things out on his own. He just got scared. Toni, too, had those days. There had been a day when he started crying along with Emily and asked Alfred "Am I not able to comfort her because I'm a bad parent?"

They were both still learning.

"My arms hurt..." Alfred tried to appeal anyway.  
“Good, the effort helps keep your arms in shape and I like them a lot…”

Honestly, it was really good to have Toni's support when Emily was a baby. Even when he was alone in bed, grumbling to Alfred that he worried too much, it already helped Alfred feel calmer and made him find the fun side in stressful moments.

Because they managed to raise an incredible girl like Emily together, they thought they could manage giving her a sibling. If they worked together, they would be able to take care of a second child. In fact, it would be a lot easier now that they had experience with the first one.

 

* * *

 

"We already live together, we love each other, we are already mates! Let's get married! I always wanted a ceremony!" was how Gilbert asked Arthur to marry him.

When they had just had sex, with Arthur almost falling asleep.

Arthur protested the lack of romanticism, but ended up saying yes because he really did love that person. And then Gilbert took a ring out of the drawer and knelt on the bed, taking Arthur's hand and placing the jewel on his finger. It was not very valuable. But it was a ring, and Arthur melted at the sight of it.

The ceremony was not long after. They wanted something small, simple. Something with Gilbert's family and their friends.

As he sent the invitations, Arthur realized he had almost no real friends.

His college classmates, for the most part, said they had other appointments for the day, or confirmed but did not come. It was kind of sad to see people he considered friends walking away, but what could be done? Arthur no longer had his parents' money to afford to go out with them or go to the places they used to go, and they apparently did not feel comfortable in places Arthur _could_ afford.

Only two of his friends attended the small ceremony in a small church. Arthur and Gilbert exchanged their vows and spoke of hope, of love and commitment while Francis, Gilbert's best man, cried in the background.

The party was also simple, at Gilbert's family home, but it was very entertaining. There was plenty of food, drinks and affection. Toward the end of the night, when they lied down to sleep to be able to travel to the coast for a brief honeymoon, Gilbert caressed Arthur's face.

"Sorry I can't offer you everything you deserve..."

Arthur shook his head.

"Stop that. I'm happy, Gil. I've never been so happy."

And it was true.

* * *

 

Antonio had been invited to a culinary championship that would be worth a good cash prize, and even with Bill only having one year at the time, Antonio said he wanted to go so he could put that money into the children's savings for college.

"They're so small. Why are you already thinking about college? Alfred tried to protest, but Antonio, who had never been able to go to college, and who had had serious financial problems before he could establish himself professionally, really wanted that for his children, and insisted on going.

It would be a short trip anyway. A week in Italy and then he would return. Not to mention that he could still talk to his kids every day on video calls.

Alfred agreed to it.

Honestly, he thought it would just be a week busier than usual, and that's how it started. It was a lot of work to take care two young children alone, especially since Emily had become much more energetic after learning how to walk.

However, it still seemed that the trip had been worth it. Antonio and Alfred talked every night during and he seemed so excited and proud of himself for his performances in the competition. Even when Antonio came in second place and Alfred thought he needed to be comforted, Antonio just laughed, shaking his hand in a carefree gesture.

"I learned a lot on this trip and had a lot of fun. It's a shame I didn’t get the money, but I realized by spending these days here that the most valuable thing for me is to have a family that I love and that supports me so much. With you guys, I feel like I can do anything in the future.”

“Babe, that was so sentimental.” Alfred laughed, rolling his eyes. “And you say I'm the soppy one!”

“Well, I'm sincere.” Antonio smiled sweetly. “I think I made the best choice in the world  for a mate.”

"Oh, I have to go now, Tonio. You know how it is. Emily wants a bedtime story.”

"Try to read one of those books in Spanish for her. You know I think it's important that she learns the language.”

“I know I know! Sorry, Toni! I'm going now! Em is about to get up from the bed! Love ya! I'll pick you up at the airport tomorrow, okay?”

“Bye, Alfie. I love you too. Take good care of the kids!” Toni waved at him, laughing. “Good luck dealing with them alone till I get back!”

That was the last conversation they would have. If Alfred knew that, nothing in the world would have made him finish it.

 

* * *

 

“Your scent… is different?”

It was the first thing Arthur noticed, that Gilbert's scent smelled a bit... bitter. But it was light, almost not there, and he thought it might be a lack of some nutrient.

"I got into an argument with a stupid guy at work, that must be it," was Gilbert's answer.

And they did not talk about it anymore, as much as Arthur still felt that slight difference in Gilbert's scent.

And then Gilbert asked if they could have a baby in Arthur's next heat, and Arthur agreed because Gilbert seemed so, so excited about the idea, and because Arthur thought that together they could do it. Together they could do anything.

Arthur's heat was a bit... different from usual.

Gilbert seemed tired and rather unwell. He seemed warmer too, and when they knotted, he looked uncomfortable.

"A-are you okay, love?" Arthur asked several times whenever he noticed sweat on Gilbert's brows.

"Uhum, don't worry," he would say every time.

When the heat was over, Arthur insisted Gilbert went to see a doctor.

"I worry about you and I'll feel calmer if you see a doctor, Gil. You're always feverish and unwell... And Ludwig told me that you've been like this for some time, but that you take a lot of painkillers so I don't notice!" Arthur said, serious and annoyed but mostly worried.

Gilbert ended up agreeing, "What don't I do for you..."

Arthur took a pregnancy test while Gilbert was away, and he had great news for when Gilbert returned.

Unfortunately, Gilbert had news, too. Bad ones.

 

* * *

 

They didn’t have a body for the funeral. The plane caught on fire. What had remained of Antonio... was no longer a body, so to speak.

Strangely, the reality of what had happened did not immediately strike on Alfred. At first, he did almost mechanically things like arranging the funeral, explaining to Emily that her dad wouldn’t come back from his trip and contact relatives and friends for support and everything else.

Alfred spent about two months completely hollow inside. He would sit on the couch and watch television without paying attention to anything, just distracting his eyes with pictures. He didn’t feel either sad or happy about anything and he was especially impatient with Emily. He even shouted and said bad words at her, his tiny daughter needing his support, when she did little mistakes, like knocking a plate out of the table.

He was becoming bitter. A completely different person. However, he hadn’t even realized it yet because he, technically, was not thinking or feeling much at the time.

And then there was a day when Alfred's parents came to spend a weekend with him and the kids. Alfred tried to send them away because he didn’t have the patience to spend his energy receiving guests.

They insisted.

Alfred decided they could stay with the kids while he did his own thing. _Whatever, fuck that_.

And then he saw something that changed everything inside him.

He saw Emily laugh when his mother placed her on her lap and began to make faces at her.

In that moment, he realized... In those two months, he had not seen his daughter smile once.

Emily was very small. She was only four years old. For her, having to face the reality of losing one of her parents was devastating as well. He could hear her crying every night in her bedroom before bed and, despite that, she had never taken out her frustration on Alfred or even Billy. She always tried to make the most of the moments when they had each other's company.

Alfred was being a terrible father. He was a mess and he couldn’t do what he needed to do by himself. He needed Antonio, but if Antonio couldn’t go back... He still needed someone. He still needed help.

After recognizing this, Alfred felt thick tears build up in his eyes and slid one by one on his face until they became a waterfall and he dropped to his knees on the floor, finally allowing himself to admit that he was feeling awful and that he didn’t know how to deal with what was happening.

 

* * *

 

They would have a baby, but Gilbert had advanced cancer.

Upon receiving the news, Arthur felt the world crack completely beneath his feet. But he stood firm.

He said, "Let's do all the treatments possible. Let's not worry about money. I beg help to my parents if need be, but we won't give up."

He said "we" because without Gilbert he didn't know what to do.

Not even the doctors were very optimistic, but they had the support of Gilbert's family, and of their friends. They took loans, sold the car, made raffles. Everything. Debts only increased and Gilbert only got worse, but they had no other choice. Gilbert couldn't die. Arthur wouldn't let him.

However, as much as Arthur was doing whatever he could and as much as Gilbert was struggling to stay alive and fighting... the cancer was stronger than they were.

"The son of a bitch was born of me, it's obvious it's strong and persistent." Gilbert joked a few times.

Arthur hated those jokes. But at least they were jokes, and Arthur missed them when Gilbert could not even open his mouth to speak.

Gilbert died on a sunny Wednesday.

He had been in pain all day, barely staying awake, hardly speaking. About two-thirty in the afternoon, he called Arthur to sit on the bed with him, and with great difficulty and with Arthur's help, caressed his belly.

"You... will be fine..." he said to Arthur, and Arthur shook his head.

"We. We'll be fine. Me, you and the baby," he said, smiling.

He had lost weight in the last few months, instead of gaining weight. He was barely sleeping.

"... I... I love you, Arthur..." and then, "I hope... you'll forgive me... someday..."

"G-Gil... it's okay. We're going to be fine, okay? Don't push yourself too hard..." he whimpered, touching Gilbert's cheek, his skin warm and rough.

"I... don't... I can't..." he said very quietly, closing his eyes slowly, a sore expression in his face.

The doctors declared death at 2:47 p.m.

When Ludwig arrived to see his brother, a nurse was holding Arthur by the waist as he yelled and struggled and the doctors and other nurses dealt with... the body.

"No! No, don't leave me, Gil! Please, you can't die, please, please! I need you, please... please... don't leave me..."

Ludwig had to help the nurse get Arthur out of the room and hold him while she sedated him. The last thing Arthur saw was the silent tears on his brother-in-law’s cheeks.

It was a miracle that he didn't lose the baby.

Ever since Gilbert's death, Arthur had been feeling lost. The world beneath him that had cracked when he learned of Gilbert's illness had finally shattered completely, and he felt himself falling, falling...

He did not know what to do.

 

* * *

 

Even though Alfred’s whole world became grey when he lost Antonio, it gradually recovered its colors.

The blue color of Emily's cheerful eyes and the brown color of Bill's prying eyes. The green color of the trees in his neighborhood, which still remained so quiet and full of good memories. The new lilac color of the children's bedroom wall, which they choose by themselves when Billy got a little older. The yellow color of the pancake batter they would have for dinner in a fun evening watching a movie. The world was truly filled with many wonderful colors.

Little by little Alfred saw that he could be happy again. That he could make new plans for the future, have expectations about tomorrow, even though he still felt pain at the thought that Antonio wouldn’t be in it.

He never thought, however, that he would be able to love someone so intensely again. After a few years, he wanted to go out with people again, but it was more in the spirit of _eh, it might be fun_ than in the expectation that he could fall seriously in love with someone and trust his heart to a new person.

Then came Arthur, who didn’t even try to seduce Alfred, who couldn’t even be a target of his interest, and he snatched Alfred's heart like the wind carrying a balloon.

He made Alfred think again about what it would be like to have a future with someone, to share his life with an omega, and live romantic moments beside him, like kissing in the rain, dancing slowly together and walking hand in hand on the beach at night, staring at the stars.

The problem was that Arthur was the worst possible person Alfred could fall in love with.

"What would he think of me, you know?" Alfred took a sip of his drink, swallowing his bitter feelings with it. "Can you imagine, Kiku? What would he think if he knew I liked him? That I'm falling in love with him? That sometimes, when he puts his head on my shoulder, I want to cover his face with kisses? He would never, ever trust me again. We would lose our friendship and... he really needs a friend, man. Just a friend.”

Kiku patted his shoulder to comfort him as Alfred buried his face in his arms on the table.

"I didn’t want to fall in love like this again," Alfred said, his voice filled with anguish. "Why did I have to fall in love with a person who can’t even know how I feel about him?"

Now, Alfred was once again seeing the red color of the cheeks of a special person blushing over him. The light red color on their lips. The red and shimmering color of love.

 

* * *

 

Arthur's pain was still very fresh and it was still throbbing and drawing his breath when he least expected it, but it was slowly wearing away, thinning.

A few months ago, Arthur wouldn't be able to clean the apartment and move Gilbert's belongings without crying his eyes out.

But that day he succeeded, he managed to sort things out and drag furniture almost without crying, which was a small overcoming victory.

In the end... he would be able to move on. It would be difficult, and painful and lonely, but he would succeed.

He had Gilbert's family, he had his friends and he had... he had Alfred. Sweet, kind and gentle Alfred. Arthur was so grateful to have met him...

After he finished cleaning, Arthur was exhausted, so he decided to take a hot shower before putting on his pajamas, eating something and lying down.

And as he entered the bathroom, what a surprise didn’t he have when he saw blood in his underwear.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;3


	7. When You Reach Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the last chapter notes I was like “oh we won’t take much to post the next chapter!” FIVE MONTHS LATER………… WHOPS!
> 
> But here we are! We’re SO SORRY for the wait, LOL. Hope this makes up for it!!
> 
> Also, there’s a lot of hospital terminology things happening in this chapter and we apologize if we used words or terms that aren’t correct. We also have No Idea how American hospitals work LOL
> 
> Fire_Bear, Sadaf_Awesome, EmpressVegah, VivaDragnire, YuukiMe, Lady_Quickshift, Uselessteacup, 100%MaximumNoChill, Hestia+Heart: thank you so much for the reviews, guys! And sorry for the wait ;; Mayumi has answered your reviews <3
> 
> To everyone else who left us kudos as well, thanks, guys!! Hope you'll all enjoy this chapter! <3  
>  

 

February 24, 2018

 

Arthur thought of Alfred in the second he saw that blood on his underwear, fresh and red and scary, so it was to Alfred he called as he crawled up to his bed and curled up in himself in fear, frightened by the idea that something could be wrong with his baby.

He couldn’t lose Gilbert again.

He placed the phone against his ear and touched his belly, feeling it hard to put air to his lungs, feeling the room spinning around. He closed his eyes and when Alfred’s reassuring voice greeted him with a surprised “Hello?”, he struggled for words.

“Al-Alfred… I need… I need your help. Pl—please.”

Alfred’s entire body froze when he heard Arthur’s frightened, trembling voice and felt his heart almost stop for a moment.

Without hesitating for a second, he stood up from the table where he was with Kiku and headed outside the bar to better hear what Arthur was saying.

"Arthur, are you alright?! What is going on?”

“I don’t… I don’t know… I’m…” Arthur sobbed and whimpered, “I’m bleeding, I don’t know… I’m scared…”

Oh shit. Fuck, fuck. What the hell was going on? Where the hell was Arthur?!

“Call an ambulance! As soon as you know which hospital they’re taking you to, tell me and I will go there!” Alfred instructed, trying to help.

Arthur’s sobs intensified.

“I can’t—I can’t afford that, I can’t…” he sniffed, “C-can you take me there? I’m sorry. I just… I can’t… if I lose the baby, then I… I can’t…”

Alfred didn’t even stop to think straight about it. He just went for it. He heard Kiku calling for him, but he didn’t have time to respond or explain anything so he just entered his car and put the call on speaker.

He asked Arthur urgently:

“Where are you?! What's the address?!”

There was a brief moment of silence from Arthur’s side before he said his address very quietly between sniffs.

Alfred had lived in that city for a long time, but he had never heard of that street. He would have to use his GPS to locate it, so he quickly put the address there and started the car after receiving its directions.

“It's gonna be alright! I'm on my way! Stay calm, okay?! Try to get something to stop the bleeding!”

“Okay…” Arthur whispered and tried to wipe away his tears. He sat up and he was scared to look down at himself, but he forced himself to do it anyway. He feared he would see his mattress drenched in blood, but there was nothing.

He gulped and quietly moved to the edge of the bed, reaching for his wardrobe and taking a clean underwear and clean trousers from there, as well as a pad. He got dressed slowly and it was reassuring to hear Alfred’s voice on the phone, telling him he was on his way, that he would be there soon. Arthur still felt his entire body shaking, but he managed to put on shoes and his warmest coat.

For the next five minutes or so he sat down on his couch, staring at his door and waiting for Alfred to arrive. And when he finally heard a knock on the door, he almost ran to it.

* * *

 

Arthur hadn’t got into details of how or why he was bleeding and the scene that surfaced in Alfred's mind had been REALLY bloody. He thought he would find Arthur lying  on the floor, surrounded by a pool of blood, so it was a HUGE relief when he saw Arthur standing on his apartment's door with no bloodstain on his clothes, ready to go to the hospital.

His sense of relief was so intense that he couldn’t help himself and he pulled Arthur into a hug, sighing against his shoulder, his heart racing.

"I thought you were dying. I was so scared... " he mumbled, unable to contain his feelings.

Arthur held tight to Alfred’s clothes because he, too, was scared, and Alfred’s scent was reassuring, his presence was reassuring. His body was shaky and he felt his legs weak, so he held on to Alfred even when he moved to part the hug.

“I’m sorry… I… I was scared, I thought… I don’t want to lose my baby…” he mumbled.

“It's gonna be okay.” Alfred swallowed, controlling his breathing. Now that he had seen Arthur safe, he was starting to be able to think again. "I'll go with you to the hospital and we'll check this out. Do you want to get something before we go to my car?”

Arthur let go of Alfred but not after a last sniff, inhaling Alfred’s scent and closing his eyes in the process. Alfred made him feel safe.

“My wallet…” he whispered, looking around. It was probably by the nightstand in the bedroom, “I…” he took a deep breath and rubbed his eye, “I’ll take it and then we can go.” and then he turned to go grab it.

As Arthur rushed into the bedroom, Alfred paused a moment to look at his place and ... Wow. That was... Alfred didn’t want to belittle the place where Arthur lived, but it looked dangerous.

The walls had cracks, the ceiling seemed a little sunken and had stains on it... Clearly, Arthur tried to keep that place neat but he couldn’t fix the terrible structure on it that possibly offered him risks.

Arthur's neighborhood was awful, too. Alfred barely believed when he saw the street where he would have to stop at. It was isolated, dark, suspicious and there was garbage scattered everywhere. There were was also graffiti on almost every wall. Honestly, Alfred was afraid that his car might be stolen there.

Why did Arthur live in such a place? Was his financial situation that bad? Why hadn’t he ever asked Alfred for help?

 

 

* * *

 

Arthur was fast to take his wallet and come back, because he didn’t want to give Alfred much time to look around. He was aware, painfully aware, actually, that his apartment wasn’t a good one, and he felt embarrassed to have Alfred standing there. Alfred lived in such a nice neighborhood, in such a nice house, he really… seemed out of place there. And the only reason he had given Alfred his address was because he really needed help. He couldn’t afford an ambulance, and he didn’t feel good about taking the bus. If that incident hadn’t occurred, Arthur would never have invited Alfred to see where he lived.

So as soon as Arthur had his wallet secure in his pocket, he took his keys and gestured to the door,

“W-we should go…”

Alfred didn’t want to embarrass Arthur by talking about his apartment. Especially at a time when the most important thing was to keep him calm and make sure he got to the hospital soon enough. He decided to simply smile at Arthur and pretend that he had not noticed anything in particular about his place.

“Yes, of course. Do you have a preference for a specific hospital?” Alfred asked, putting an arm around Arthur's shoulders and bringing him to his car.

The trajectory to the hospital was tense. Alfred turned on the radio and Arthur was glad he did, because he didn’t know what to say and all he could do was hug himself and bounce his legs nervously.

He was worried about the baby and he was embarrassed Alfred had to see where he lived, because it was pretty clear he didn’t live somewhere nice: there were a group of shady teens by the corner when they got down to the car, all of the them smoking and laughing too loudly. Alfred clearly had seem them, and Arthur wondered what he might be thinking of him.

Arthur was exhausted, tense, scared and honestly a bit hungry when they finally got to the hospital. He just wanted that to get over with soon so he could go back home and eat something.  

And although Alfred knew that stress should be the main symptom affecting Arthur's scent, he couldn’t help but be alarmed at how different it was. His scent was full of various elements and none of them were good. Though Alfred was considerably calmer compared to when he was imagining that Arthur was losing a lot of blood, he was still stressed and alert because his omega was scared and in need of help and, damn, he would get him help at any costs.

He went to the front desk with much more haste and urgency than Arthur himself.

“We need help! This omega that is with me...!” he pointed to Arthur, still at the entrance of the hospital “He had a bleeding! He's expecting a baby! We need medical attention NOW!” he slammed his fist against the desk, gazing intently at the receptionist, as if challenging her to contest his demand.

Arthur approached Alfred while hugging himself, and when he got close enough his nostrils were drowned in Alfred’s scent. It was Alfred’s reassuring scent, only stronger, _too stronger_ but not in a bad way, and it made Arthur’s legs go weak and his face heaten up, but he didn’t know what to do with this reaction. He held on to the front desk, feeling his breath escape his body. He stared at Alfred and he wanted to be hugged by him, his hormones and instincts all over the place. His mark was feeling itchy, though, and it held him in place. He was feeling really… confused.

The receptionist at the front desk, a beta in her thirties, raised her eyebrows to Alfred and looked at Arthur for a brief second before handing a form for Alfred to fill:

“He doesn’t look like it’s an emergency. Fill this form and wait there, please,” she said.

That seemed completely unacceptable to Alfred.

"He's expecting a baby!" he insisted impatiently, “You want to let him sit on a hospital bench, waiting for his turn when something could have happened to his son?! What is your problem?!”

Arthur didn’t want anything bad to happen to his baby. His body was feeling itchy and too hot and too anxious and he got closer to Alfred, holding to his arm. He wasn’t sure what he was doing. He was scared, Alfred could protect him, so he wanted to be close to Alfred. Nothing weird.

“Sir, are you feeling any pain?” the receptionist asked Arthur. He shook his head. “That’s great. Then please fill out the form.” She smiled at Arthur and then turned back to Alfred with a small frown, “I’ll do what I can to make sure your mate is taken care of as soon as possible, but it doesn’t look like it’s an emergency. The baby is probably fine, so it can wait an extra couple minutes.”

Alfred wanted to kick a bunch of chairs and scream a bunch of bad words at that receptionist. However, thanks to Arthur, who was holding onto him, he managed to contain his anger and gradually replace his aggressive instinct to fight to defend him for a more caring and calm instinct to be gentle with him to make him well.

“Sorry, Artie.” he turned to Arthur, acting as tenderly as he could, though he still felt a little agitated by his nervousness and anger and his body was still shaking with fury. "It looks like we're going to have to wait a little. Is there anything I can do to make you comfortable?”

Arthur shook his head, his face burning up. He wanted to hug Alfred, but instead he scratched his mark.

“I just… I want to sit down, so I’ll just fill this out....” he said, taking the form and thanking the receptionist, who just nodded and went back to her own business.

Alfred let Arthur go sit down, but kept walking in circles impatiently in front of the reception, arms folded across his chest, snorting with anger.

Didn’t these people understand that Arthur was expecting a baby?! He shouldn’t stay in a hospital for too long! What if he got sick?!

As for Arthur, he wished Alfred would sit next to him, and hold his hand and tell him he’d be fine, that the baby would be fine. Then he finally noticed that the receptionist had assumed Alfred and him were mates, which made Arthur blush and frown and scratch his mark again, feeling uneasy and confused. He thought of Gilbert and felt guilty to have wished Alfred would hold his hand. His mind was thinking one too many things all at once, and he was feeling sick.

He wished he could just go home and forget that day had ever happened.

And then someone called his name, a doctor, and Arthur mechanically got up, his body tense and shaky. He looked around, looking for Alfred, and he felt guilty at how much he wanted Alfred to go in with him, at how much he just wanted a bit of support, to be reassured, to be told he was fine. He wished Gilbert was there.

Alfred followed Arthur, catching his arm to support him as they made their way to the consulting room. He heard Arthur clearly sigh with relief at his touch but assumed that Arthur was just relieved to be finally being attended to.

The doctor greeted them with a warm smile even though she was an omega and she could smell that they weren’t mates and see that Arthur was holding a bit too tight to Alfred’s arm.

They all sat down and Arthur forced himself to let go of Alfred, fidgeting with his hands instead. When the doctor asked him how he was doing, he tried to keep himself calm as he explained.

“I’m… I’m six months pregnant…” he touched his belly lightly, “And, and today I had a bleeding… it wasn’t much, but…”

"Did you feel any pain before the bleeding?" the doctor checked.

“No. I just noticed it when I went to take a shower.” Arthur explained.

"What was the color of this bleeding?"

That question sounded very private and Alfred felt a little guilty about watching that conversation. Maybe his presence was making Arthur uncomfortable. He started to turn away to leave, but then Arthur took his hand and squeezed it. Even though he had done it with force, Alfred felt a huge vulnerability in that gesture.

Okay… If Arthur wanted to, then he would stay there.

Arthur couldn’t bear to be alone. It was embarrassing to talk about that in front of Alfred, but he’d feel even worse alone.

So he took a deep breath and answered, as calm as he could.

“It was, uh… light red. Not too light. But not super red either…”

“How much did you bleed? Enough to stain your pants?” the doctor asked next.

Arthur was embarrassed by that question, but to assure him that it was all right, Alfred took his hand and brought it gently to his lips in a chivalrous gesture.

Arthur blushed. He could feel his face heating up and he didn’t know what to do about it, he couldn’t control his scent and he knew it was probably all around the room, so he looked down and shyly scratched his mark again.

“N-no, not that much, just… just my underwear…”

"Mr. Kirkland, I know you're nervous, but stop scratching your mark, please. You will end up hurting yourself,” the doctor requested before saying. “Look, I'll have you do some tests, but I'll warn you in advance that bleeding during pregnancy is more common than people think. By the color and quantity of your blood, there’s two reasons that are most likely the cause. It may be that your body is lacking progesterone, which causes this type of bleeding, or it may be that you have placenta previa. In that second case, it can be fixed by its own in time but physical exertion can make you bleed. Both problems are easy to solve as long as they are diagnosed early. Is this the first time this happened?”

Arthur immediately let go of his mark, feeling like a kid being scolt by a teacher, and he went back to fidgeting with his hands. He had no idea what those things meant, and he felt both awful for not knowing about those important baby related things and glad the baby was okay. His eyes became watery as he nodded, relieved.

And then… he noticed that the reason why was bleeding was probably because…

“... I, actually, today I was cleaning up and I had to move some furniture around… They weren’t too heavy, so I didn’t think it would be a problem…” he said, very quietly, his voice getting lower as he spoke.

Alfred's jaw dropped and his eyes widened slightly.  

“You were… Were you moving furniture? What? Why didn’t you call me to help you?? I told you to ask for my help in this sort of thing!”

Arthur shook his head.

“It wasn’t much, really… I was just cleaning up a bit and decided to move the coffee table and the dresser…” he explained. And he thought about adding he didn’t want Alfred knowing where he lived, but decided against it.

“Even so! You're expecting a baby! You have to carry as little weight as possible!” Alfred complained, holding Arthur's hands and giving him an anxious look. “Please, put more trust on me. I really want to help you.”

“I know,” Arthur said, but he didn’t manage to look at Alfred’s eyes for long. There was something anxious and worried in his eyes, so he forced himself to look away. Alfred’s scent was making him want to apologize, but he didn’t. He just gulped and looked down.

He knew it, but apparently that was not enough for him to let Alfred come into his life and support him with things like that.

Alfred let out a long sigh. He could only help if Arthur allowed him to and communicated with him. If Arthur didn’t want him to help... What could Alfred do for him?

"I want you to take these exams, Mr. Kirkland,” the doctor said, handing several papers to Arthur. "Give those to the receptionist and they'll tell you where to go. The most important ones are your ultrasound and blood test.”

Arthur didn’t like the idea of taking a blood test. He felt his breathing becoming shorter and faster, but he did his best not to let it show.

Besides… what was more worrying was not the tests themselves, but… how expensive they would be. He gulped, trying not to worry about it but worrying anyway. It was not like he could not do the tests, he needed to make sure his baby was okay. It was his fault, anyway, for moving furniture around. What was he thinking?!

He nodded, and after the doctor told him the tests results would be ready that same day and that he should return to talk to her once again, they left the room. Arthur was tired, he was hungry and he was so, so stressed. He honestly wanted to cry. He wished Alfred would hug him, and tell him it was alright. But he took a long, shaky breath and tried to offer Alfred a smile.

“I should… I should get this over with…” he said, indicating the papers in his hand.  

From Arthur's scent, he seemed really stressed, so Alfred knew he would have to stay next to him, no matter how long those exams took.

"I'll be here with you," he said with a gentle smile, touching carefully Arthur's cheek. "Don’t be afraid. You will not go through any of this alone.”

Those words were comforting, warm and so, so welcome. Arthur shyly reached for the hand on his cheek and squeezed it. Alfred’s scent was soothing, gentle, and if Arthur felt like crying it was because he didn’t feel so alone, which in itself was weird.

But he didn’t cry. He sniffed and nodded, but tried to stood tall and put together, because he needed to practice it for when his baby was born. He needed to be strong for him.

“Thank you so much, Alfred.” he told his friend, staring at his kind blue eyes, “I… I’d be so lost. If you weren’t here.” he admitted, but then he looked away.

“Hey, no problem. Can you go give the papers to the receptionist while I call the babysitter to tell them I'll be back a little later?”

Arthur nodded even though he felt guilty for taking Alfred away from his kids when he already had so little time to stay with them. He gave the receptionist his papers and waited as she typed something in her computer. Every key she pressed made Arthur think about how absurd his hospital bill would be at the end of the night. He was glad he hadn’t eaten anything in hours because he would probably be sick if he had anything in his stomach.

The receptionist informed him what floor he should go to, and then he approached Alfred, who was already finishing his call.

“I need to do the blood test first,” he said, and gulped, “So it will be ready when I finish the other ones.”

“Oh, right. I'll join you.” Alfred said, quickly saying goodbye to the babysitter and hanging up the phone. “Are you feeling good? You're not feeling any pain or anything, right?” Alfred wanted to check it out again.

He probably asked that about five times by now, but he couldn’t help worrying about it.

Arthur shook his head.

“No, I’m fine.” he smiled a bit as they took the elevator, “I’m just… tired.” he sighed, and he meant it in so many senses. He placed a hand on his belly, “And I’ll have to eat something after the blood test. Ugh… I hate blood tests…” he said quietly to himself, getting goosebumps just to think of the needle which would be spiked into his arm.

"I'll be there with you and it'll be over in a second. It's gonna be okay.” Alfred smiled, wrapping his arm around Arthur's waist. They talked to another receptionist, then with a nurse, who let them to a small room. Arthur sat down with Alfred next to him "You want me to distract you with something?"

Arthur nodded. It felt weirdly good to have Alfred so close, his body warm and his scent relaxing, Arthur felt so less scared and so much calmer around him, when Alfred touched him and said such nice things…

Alfred was… Alfred was a really great friend.

A nurse walked in with a nice smile on her lips and tried to do some small talk, but Arthur wasn’t in the mood for it. Alfred was sitting on his side and Arthur grabbed his hand by instinct, closing his eyes and feeling his breathing shaky. The nurse told him to try to relax and Arthur felt his eyes watering.

Since Arthur was so scared, Alfred started telling a story about his life to distract him:

"You know, when I was in high school, I was super-athletic and popular, but at the same time I had a bunch of interests that could be considered childish and, well, uncool for a bunch of teenagers. Cartoons, cute games, things like that.” he told Arthur, putting a hand on his shoulder. "And then one day I became interested in an omega. He was so cute. Honestly, he was like a sweet cookie. He had those round glasses and giant sweaters. It was ridiculously adorable. And I wanted to impress that omega... Okay, Artie, it's okay. It's almost over now.”

Arthur didn’t dare look to his arm just yet, so he kept his eyes closed and held Alfred’s hand tight.

“...And then… what did you do?” he asked, because he wanted to hear more of Alfred’s voice.

The nurse was taking a tube of blood from Arthur, so it was a pretty good thing that he wasn’t looking.

"I kept trying to impress him by trying to look even more athletic in front of him,” he explained as the nurse put a cotton in Arthur’s arm to stop the bleeding. "I did things, like, leaning just one arm against the closet to give off that body language that conveys the ‘hey, do you come here often?’ kinda vibe. Also, I called him to come to my games all the time. Anyway, I was trying my hardest to emphasize my cool sides and hide the shameful ones. Then one day, I finally got the courage and I confessed to him and his response was 'sorry, but I don’t think you're my type. I like nerdy guys and you're kind of too generic for me’.  So I was like, 'NO, I AM A NERD. I LIKE NERDS THINGS ' and he gave me that ‘don’t lie to impress me’ kinda look and urghhhhh, I was so frustrated after that.”

Arthur actually chuckled a bit at that. He slowly opened his eyes to look at Alfred, and he was so close and smiling so happily it made Arthur’s eyes go wide and his face heat up. So he looked down and gulped and closed his eyes again.

“T-that’s… that’s funny, but… yeah… I can imagine how much must have been frustrated… when it happened.” he said quietly.

"Yes, but it helped me accept more of my personality as a whole. This was when I realized that it was impossible to please everyone,” Alfred replied, tilting his head to the side with a small smile. "And so that made me more comfortable being who I am!"

“That’s good.” Arthur agreed, “You’re happier when you are yourself.” he added, and then he took a deep breath, not daring open his eyes again, “... is it over?”

“Yeah!  Can’t you feel the sticker on your arm?” Alfred asked, laughing a little.

“Oh,” Arthur said, finally allowing himself to look at his left inner elbow. He sighed audibly and sinked in his chair. He then looked to Alfred and smiled a bit, “Thank you, Alfred. I… I didn’t even feel anything.”

“No problem.” Alfred smiled back at him, offering his arm to help him up. "It's over now, okay? You can relax.”

Arthur nodded as he gladly accepted Alfred’s help. He got up and then stopped, feeling a bit… fuzzy. When had he ate something last? He took a deep breath and when Alfred asked if everything was alright, he quickly nodded again.

“I need to… I should do the other tests so I can go eat something. There’s a diner around the corner, I could get something there later,” he said with a small smile. He didn’t want to worry Alfred and he just wanted to finish everything and go home as soon as possible.

Arthur said that, but he looked pale and his eyes were almost closing as he smiled at Alfred.

“I have a better idea. Let's eat something in the hospital cafeteria NOW and then we continue with your tests.” Alfred replied, already leading Arthur by the arm toward the cafeteria.

“No, I’d rather do them first. So I can go home sooner.” Arthur shook his head and stopped walking. No, the hospital cafeteria was too expensive. Arthur was already expending too much money with everything else. He couldn’t spend lots of money with food when he could spend much less at a diner, or even eating something at home. He just… didn’t want to _say_ that.

Alfred recognized the anxiety bitter undertones in Arthur’s smell. However, more worryingly, he noticed that Arthur’s general scent was fading quickly and it was almost disappearing into thin air. Arthur was probably very weak at this point.

Arthur would probably feel calmer by getting out of the hospital as soon as possible, but ... Urgh. Alfred couldn’t let him faint or stay with a low blood pressure. He was expecting a baby.

"Artie, I'm really sorry, but if you don’t follow me, I'm going to have to put you in my arms and carry you there." Alfred said with a sigh, looking at Arthur concerned but determined.

Arthur snorted. Alfred wouldn’t really do that, would he?

But then he smelled Alfred’s scent. Strong and determined, and he knew Alfred was serious. Arthur gulped and looked away. Alfred had such a strong scent, Arthur wanted to just… do whatever he was saying, to please him so his scent would become sweeter and soothing.

“I don’t want to eat there,” Arthur managed to say, gathering all his strength. He was so tired, “I _can’t_ eat there.” he repeated.

“And why is that?”

“Because I can’t afford that!” Arthur almost yelled, letting go of Alfred’s hold to cross his arms in front of himself, to shield himself, to protect himself. There it was. He had said it. Alfred already knew it, he definitely did, but now Arthur had said it.

Alfred blinked, surprised.

“Whatcha talking about? I'll pay it for you.”

Arthur froze, confused.

“You… what?” he mumbled.

"I'll pay it for you." Alfred repeated as if it were obvious. "The costs of a snack in a cafédoesn’t affect my savings, but it affects yours, so it’s better if I pay for you, right?"

By now, Alfred had already realized that Arthur was strangely concerned about spending every little thing he needed in his life and, seeing his apartment, he could understand why. He didn’t know how Arthur could be in such a bad financial situation despite being employed, but that wasn’t important. The important thing was that he gave as much support as possible to his friend.

“I… I…” Arthur started, but he didn’t know what to say.

Alfred was always paying things for him. Always. He paid his transport for him to go over, he paid for food when they were out, he paid… for everything. Arthur felt guilty. He hated it. He hated it so much. He clenched his fists when he felt his eyes water. He let out a shaky breath.

“You shouldn’t… I should… I’m sorry…”

Oh damn. Alfred really didn’t like to see Arthur sad. He really wished that Arthur would be happy and feel safe and comfortable. Arthur deserved that much.

“Hey, listen. You don’t have to feel bad about it. Like I said, I will pay this because it doesn’t affect my savings so much, but it does affect yours a lot. It's normal. If you were in your house, drinking a bottle of water and suddenly I came and practically collapsed at your door because I was dehydrated, you would give the bottle to me, right?”

Arthur sniffled and rubbed his eyes.

“Well, obviously.”

"I'm giving the bottle to you now.” Alfred explained gently, holding Arthur's hand for a moment. “You are expecting a baby and you need some special care. It costs me nothing to give that care to you, but it costs you absurdly to try to get it on your own. So I'm offering this to you.”

When Alfred put it like that…

Arthur took a deep breath and looked up to Alfred for just a moment.

“I’m sorry. I mean, thank you. I promise I’ll pay you back for all of this. For everything you’ve been doing for me.” he said. He was determined about that. He still had so much else to pay for, and also the baby, but… he’d pay Alfred back too. He really would. He would work hard and get himself a better job, go back to freelancing as well… he closed his eyes as his head ached, and finally he allowed Alfred to guide him to the café.

"You know, you can pay me back by taking care of the children when I have to go out for something at night. I always paid good money to the babysitters, so that would be a good way to compensate me financially.” Alfred offered. He, then, averted his eyes and felt embarrassed noticing that he was still holding Arthur's hand. “Er ... You don’t _have_ to do this ... It's just a suggestion ... ”

“No, I can do that!” Arthur said with a smile, “I love your kids and babysitting them would be great practice to me as well, so everybody wins.”

Arthur's smile was very bright and precious and Alfred was completely weak against it while they were holding hands.

Should he say something about it? Should he take off his hand first? Arthur wasn’t complaining about it. Oh gosh. He felt butterflies fluttering in his stomach.

“Oh, haha! Great! We have a deal, then!”

They walked to the hospital café and Alfred sat Arthur down and then got him a soup, a glass of orange juice and a chocolate cereal bar for dessert. Arthur insisted he didn’t _need_ a dessert, but Alfred wouldn’t listen and made him have it anyway.

Despite how awkward Arthur felt to have Alfred paying for his food, they had a nice time. Alfred didn’t bring up the fact that Arthur lived in an awful place, and Arthur was glad for that. He wished to never talk about that with Alfred. Alfred always seemed to be living in a different world than him. Arthur didn’t want to discuss his home or anything of the sort with him. It felt… wrong.

When he finished eating, he smiled to Alfred and sighed.

“I should do the other tests so I can talk to the doctor and go home,” he said with a yawn.

Alfred agreed. As much as he wanted to take care of Arthur, there were limits to how long he could leave his children alone with the babysitter.

He helped Arthur keep calm for the remaining exams and they returned to the doctor to present the results.

She said that everything seemed normal and that Arthur’s bleeding probably was caused by his placenta previa and his physical effort. This was normal and even the weight of the belly in pregnancy could stimulate this kind of bleeding, but she said it was better for Arthur to check the position of his placenta in the hospital for the next couple of months in case it didn’t go up on  its own.

Arthur was tired and stressed and the hospital smell made him feel dirty and sick.

At least his baby was okay.

The bad news was… he now had an even larger hospital bill to pay and this time for nothing. If he hadn’t decide to move furniture around, if he hadn’t freaked out… how much would all that coast? Hundreds? Thousands, maybe? Oh god…

The doctor was saying something else but Arthur hadn’t payed attention.

“Sorry?” he said with a small, polite smile.

"I asked if you live alone,” the doctor repeated the question.

Alfred, who avoided answering for Arthur before because he didn’t want to be rude, ended up answering for him this time because Arthur seemed distracted:

“Yeah, he lives alone.”

"But do you have the help of someone to clean the house and do other household chores?" the doctor asked Arthur.

Arthur shook his head and fidgeted with his fingers on his lap.

“No, I’m on my own.”

"And you live in an apartment adapted for omegas, I assume?"

Arthur gulped. Should he lie? No, Alfred would surely call him out…

“Uh, no, I… It’s a beta apartment, actually…”

Alfred should have guessed that Arthur’s apartment was meant to be for betas. It seemed well below the price range that apartments for omegas had - which was probably the reason why Arthur chose it.

"Winter must have been pretty hard for you, then.” the doctor pointed out with a worried expression. “It's amazing that you haven’t suffered with hypothermia.”

It had been, Arthur thought to himself. His apartment would get really cold during the night. Usually Arthur wouldn’t mind, because Gilbert would be there for him. But now… he was always cold.

“I have plenty of blankets,” he said with a small smile.

Alfred felt his heart sink hearing it.

He couldn’t believe that all this time, Arthur had been living in such bad conditions without saying anything to him, despite they being so close.

“For what month is your delivery expected?” the doctor checked.

“Hm… Late June, if I remember right,” Arthur nodded to himself. He wanted to rub his eyes, but refrained from it. Gosh, he was tired.

"Well, Mr. Kirkland, do you think you'll be alright until June the way things are?" the doctor asked so brutally honestly that Alfred wanted to hide his face for a moment. He was feeling so out of place there... “You're anemic, living in an apartment for betas and doing all the housework on your own. These are rather dangerous conditions for an omega waiting for a baby.”

 Arthur felt the blood rush out of his face as he heard that. He felt suddenly colder, more tense, weak. He was probably pale and he hated to know his scent was probably all around the place. How could he put on a smile and lie that he thought he’d be fine when he couldn’t keep his hormones in?

He didn’t think he’d be fine, he didn’t think he could do it, but he had to, hadn’t he? He didn’t have much of a choice. He had to stay on his feet and do everything he had to do because it wasn’t like he had a choice, it wasn’t like he could walk away from it _or_ change it.

He was alone. But it was okay because he’d work his way around it. He’d be fine. He had to.

“I’m… anemic? But I… I’ve been eating properly,” he said. _Most of the time_ was more accurate, but he didn’t want to say it.

"Well, yes, but pregnancy makes your body need more nutrients than usual. You need to improve your diet. Take vitamins, make at least four meals a day... Extra caution is necessary. You are ‘eating for two’, as they say.”

Arthur sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. Yes, right… he’d have to research some cheap vitamins and recipes later…

“Alright. I’ll be more careful with that. And eat more. So that should be fine. As for everything else, I’ll be fine,” Arthur said, forcing his smile up and doing eye contact to try and seem more confident than he actually was.

He could see Alfred with the corner of his eye and he worked harder to keep that I’m-going-to-be-fine façade.

"Mr. Kirkland, it would be preferable if you stayed with a member of your family during your pregnancy,” the doctor suggested.

Alfred was surprised that this idea hadn’t occurred to him before. Where was Arthur's family, after all? If things were so bad for him, why didn’t he ask his family for help? Was it simply because they lived in England or something?

“I can’t.” Arthur said, and that was final. He would not try to reach _his_ family, not after the way they’d treated him and Gilbert, and… and as for Gilbert’s family… Arthur really didn’t want to bother them. He knew, he really knew they’d open their arms to him, but he just… they weren’t in a good financial place either, and Gilbert’s mother was so old, and Gilbert’s brother had an ill daughter to take care of, and just… Arthur couldn’t… he couldn’t be a bother… he had to take care of himself. Later on, if he felt like he needed, then he’d ask for a bit of support from Gilbert’s family. But not now. He could be on his own. So he would.

Why? Why couldn’t Arthur stay with someone in his family? What had happened to his relatives?

Alfred wanted very much to ask several questions, but he knew the timing wasn’t appropriate. He bit his tongue and kept quiet.

“You can also stay with a friend,” the doctor said, glancing in Alfred's direction.

Arthur could feel both the doctor’s and Alfred’s eyes on him. He felt really small and really awkward and he wanted to get out of there.

Instead he looked down at his hands and shook his head.

“If I feel like I need to, I can contact my friends. Like I’ve done today. But… but I’m fine. I’ll be fine.”

"Well, Mr. Kirkland..." the doctor sighed, sounding resigned to Arthur's stubbornness. "I recommend maximum rest for you this week. Avoid any exercise or mental stress. Try to lie down most of the time, if possible. If you have another bleeding, come to the hospital just in case, but know that chances are that it is only a consequence of the movement of your placenta.”

Arthur nodded.

“Alright. I’ll rest as much as possible,” he said. “Could I get a medical certificate for a couple days off work?” he asked, because as much as he didn’t want to skip work, he’d like to have a sick note to give his boss. He’d obviously still do some things from his bed, but at least he’d be laying down and resting his body. That’d be good enough.

The doctor agreed and offered him some extra generical tips, and after that Arthur and Alfred were finally free to leave the room. Arthur sighed audibly once they were outside, and finally rubbed his eyes, yawning in the process.

Alfred seemed tense and Arthur didn’t know what to say about it.

“I’m sorry you had to hear all that,” Arthur said finally, a bit unsure.

"Wow, man. This was a very tiresome night, wasn’t it?" Alfred laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his neck and trying to appear as casual as he could about everything he had seen. "Can you sleep in my house tonight? I want to be able to check on you at least for tonight, but I also have to go home. My babysitter should have left hours ago.”

Arthur bit his lip.

“Alfred, I’m really, really sorry for all the trouble…” Arthur started. He wanted to tell Alfred he’d rather just go home, that he’d be fine, that there was nothing to worry about, but… Something in Alfred’s scent made him swallow those words.

Maybe he was too tired. That was probably it. He didn’t want to think about how much Alfred’s scent was soothing and not too calm but not angry or upset either, and that it was a soothing thing to have nearby when he himself was so stressed.

He wanted to be close to Alfred.

“I’m sorry for worrying you, and for keeping you away from your kids for so long, I… If it would make you feel better, I… I can go, yeah.” he ended up saying.

Alfred took Arthur's hand, looking deep into his eyes.

"Yes, that would make me feel better. Stay with me. Please.” he said in all sincerity.

How could he help Arthur? Should he just wait patiently for Arthur to admit that he needed help? What if, when Arthur finally asked for help, it was already too late to help him?

Alfred really wished that Arthur counted on him more often, that Arthur would tell him what he felt and what he needed more more often.

Alfred didn’t want to be the kind of alpha who imposes favors and opinions on an omega because he thinks he understands their needs better than the omega himself. So… If Arthur insisted on being alone and dealing with his problems on his own, Alfred had to respect that.

How could Arthur say no to that? He was so tired, so stressed and feeling so vulnerable, he’d say yes to anything Alfred asked him at that moment, holding his hands, staring deep into his soul.

Arthur was glad the only thing else Alfred asked of him was for him to wait for a moment while he went to one of the receptions. Arthur was too tired to ask about it, so he did not.

Instead he went into Alfred’s car and smiled a bit at him when he started driving. Alfred turned on the radio and they did a bit of small talk but it died off quickly because soon Arthur had his head against the window and his eyes were closed and he was asleep.

* * *

 

He opened his eyes again when the movement stopped and then the music stopped. He blinked, confused and disoriented, and looked around to try and find out where he was.

The door to his side was opened and he faced a pair of very big, very blue eyes. He smiled a bit at them while rubbing his eyes.

“We’re here?” he said quickly, taking off his seatbelt.

Yes, they were there. Alfred was about to put his car in the garage when Arthur woke up.

"Artie, you can go ahead if you want. I bet that my babysitter will be relieved to see that we arrived.” Alfred said, patting the top of his friend's head.

Arthur nodded and smiled a bit, getting off the car and into the house as Alfred parked.

Alfred was right: the babysitter sighed visibly and smiled at Arthur when she saw him.

“Oh, gosh, I thought Mr. Jones had died or something. He wouldn’t answer my texts!” she said in a loud voice.

Arthur smiled awkwardly.

“Sorry for all the trouble. He’s just parking the car,” Arthur explained looking around. He knew it was late, but he decided to check anyway, “The kids are already in bed?”

“Yes, of course! I tucked them in a long time ago. I was just watching some TV,” she said, and Arthur smiled to her. She seemed like a good kid.

Soon Alfred was inside and Arthur watched from the couch as he apologized and paid the babysitter and waited her uber with her.

Once she was gone Arthur sleepily wondered where he’d be sleeping that night. The couch where he was sitting was so comfortable and warm that, honestly, Arthur wouldn’t mind sleeping there.

When Alfred returned to the living room, he made a point of immediately informing Arthur:

"You're going to sleep in my room today. I'll take the couch.”

“No way,” Arthur said immediately, “I can’t take your bed like that. I can sleep here. Your couch is more comfortable than my bed anyway, I won’t mind.” he added and in his sleepy state he didn’t even notice how awful that made his life sound.

That made Alfred’s expression become more guarded and definitely more resolute.

"You just got back from the hospital. You're not sleeping on the couch today, Artie.” he said with a pout. "I sleep on the couch and you sleep in my room.”

Arthur opened his mouth to say that no, _he_ would be sleeping on the couch, but he just could not do it.

He sighed and crossed his arms.

“It’s unfair,” he pouted, “I can’t argue with your pheromones!”

... Pheromones?

“What are you talking about?” Alfred laughed nervously. "I bet you can’t even notice my pheromones, you silly."

“Of course I can. Why couldn’t I? I can smell them. They’re strong and nice,” Arthur rubbed his eyes and yawned again, “I’m tired… I don’t mind where I’m going to sleep, I just want to sleep…”

A little flushed and trying to ignore the way his heart pounded as Arthur said this, Alfred held out his hands to him to help him get up and walk to bed, but Arthur practically fell into his arms as soon as he stood up.

 That guy…

"You really need attention, Artie.” Alfred sighed, patting the top of Arthur's head and allowing him to sink his face between his shoulder and his neck.

“I’m just tired…” Arthur said, and he felt so relaxed being so close to Alfred, so calm and protected, the words just left his mouth before he could filter them, “So tired… I was so scared… if you weren’t there, I… I hate being alone… I’m tired… I’m not strong, I have to be, but I’m… I’m not…” he held tight to Alfred’s clothes, “I’m tired…”

What could Alfred do? He liked the person in his arms so, so much. He truly felt like he would fight dragons to protect that guy. However, if Arthur didn’t let him know how to help him, there was almost nothing he could do …

"Do you want me to carry you to bed?" he asked carefully.

Arthur knew he should say no.

He really knew it. He opened his mouth to say it, but… but Alfred was so close, he smelled so good, he was so warm and so good…

“Please…” he ended up whispering, holding tight to Alfred’s clothes, to his warmth and comfort.

Arthur was very heavy because of his belly and it was not an easy task to get him in his arms. Fortunately, even though he was no longer the athlete of his teenage days, Alfred still had some strength in his muscles and he eventually succeeded in carrying Arthur half-sitting in his arms. He had to kick the door of his room to open it and he got quickly afraid that the children had woken up with the noise, but otherwise, everything worked well.

Arthur didn’t mind the noise the door made, he just minded when Alfred put him down in bed. He tried to hold on to Alfred’s clothes, but it was no use. Soon he was in bed and Alfred wasn’t holding him anymore. He wanted to cry, but his body was too heavy, his eyes were too heavy.

“Don’t leave me alone…” he begged really quiet and vulnerable, his eyes almost closed, but with his hand trying to reach for Alfred. Because Alfred was safe. Soothing. Warm. And oh, Arthur really needed those things. To feel safe. To feel soothed. To feel warm and loved. He missed that. He really missed that.

Arthur's scent was agitated and vulnerable — something expected after the stress he had experienced.

Even if Alfred rationally understood that it was normal and that if he let Arthur rest a little, on his own, he would soon return to normal, to smell the omega whom he liked in that state made Alfred’s instincts of protection get strongly aware.

He sat on the floor beside the bed, holding Arthur's hand.

"I'll stay with you until you fall asleep, okay? You won’t be alone.”

Arthur nodded at that.

He held tight to Alfred’s hand, squeezing it and bringing it closer to his body.

“Stay with me…” he said as he closed his eyes, and then he repeated it a few more times before he fell asleep.

Alfred stood beside Arthur until he noticed that his scent had grown weaker because he was asleep. After that, he covered Arthur with his blanket a little better and left the light of his lamp on in case he woke up scared in the middle of the night, before retiring to the couch.

What a night.

 

* * *

 

 

After that, the night was calm for Arthur.

He had a good night of sleep, a dreamless but very relaxing sleep. When he woke up his body was calm and warm and he even smiled a bit as he stretched his arms up, his mind still too foggy to understand where he was or why he was there. Until it did. And when it did he sat up immediately, feeling his face red with embarrassment. He had slept in Alfred’s bed, _again_. He couldn’t remember the bits of what he’d done before he went to bed (did he walk? Did Alfred carry him there?), and he hid his face in his hands for a moment to absorb all that.

And as he did he remembered something even more important that made him jump up and run out of the room. Something really important and that he couldn’t believe he had forgotten: he hadn’t payed or even gave any payment information to the hospital and oh, god, that was bad. He wasn’t even sure how he managed to leave without it.

But he needed to go back to do it because as much he already had an endless debt, he couldn’t just pretend he didn’t have to pay for that.

So he rushed to the living room, and he sighed when he saw Alfred sitting by the dining table,

“A-Alfred, we need to go back…!” he started, but he stopped himself right there. Alfred smelled tense, too tense, And Arthur gulped, feeling himself getting tense too. Alfred also looked really serious and pensive, and Arthur ended up asking about it, “... Is everything okay?”

Alfred had barely slept a wink.

He was pretty tired that night, so he just hoped to fall asleep as he went to the couch, but ... No, he couldn’t sleep peacefully after everything he had discovered about Arthur’s life.

Arthur, his great friend and the omega whom he liked, was living in a miserable apartment that wasn’t suitable for someone of his type, was anemic and was dealing with a lot more work and stress than he should have, being six months pregnant.

Alfred always thought Arthur looked rather lonely and, well, that was normal since he had lost his mate, but Alfred never thought that Arthur didn’t even had a family to whom he could depend on in more extreme situations.

He spent the whole night thinking about how he could help Arthur and whether he should help Artie in the first place. Arthur hadn’t told anything to him until that point. Alfred had almost accidentally bumped into the information he was assessing at the time ... He didn’t know if he had the right to say something about it or if the help he proposed would be the best option for Arthur.

Still…

“Arthur.” Alfred stood, walking to Arthur, placing his hands on his shoulders. "I need to ask you something very important."

Arthur didn’t know what to do or say.

Alfred was nervous, he could smell it on him, and as he smelled it he felt nervous as well. He shook his head, unsure. What did Alfred want? Did he want Arthur to stop calling him about his problems? Did he want Arthur to do something for him in return? What could it be?

“I… Okay, sure. What is it?”

Alfred had thought about it all night and there was no other way.

Even if he didn’t ask Arthur to pay back the money for yesterday medical expenses, Arthur would still be in serious problems, financially. That was affecting Arthur’s body. It could affect his baby, even!

“Arthur Kirkland…” Alfred spoke, more seriously than he had ever been in his life in a very long time. “Please, come live with me.”


End file.
